dealing with the pain

[DonnaEll]

I have been depressed all my life. The past few years have been especially hard though because my son died, my mom died my mims sisters and two cousins are gone. I lost my house and all my possessions and my car died. I went into debt having to live in a hotel for 6 months. I started taking kratom but I want to stop taking it to see if it’s making my depression worse. Tonight is very hard for me for no apparent reason. I just hate this constant pain! I need some kind words or something right now.

[gajh]

I am so sorry for your pain. I don't know what to say other than I am here, you are not alone, I care.

[DonnaEll in reply to gajh]

Thank you so much. I’m having a hard time lately. I lost my mom, my youngest son and everything I own in the past few years and now my car is gone. I just seem to panic at nothing and cry all the time.

[gajh in reply to DonnaEll]

That is way too much to be going through all at once. Are you in therapy? Do you have any support in your life? I can understand why you are panicking and crying all the time. I hope you are finding ways to comfort yourself. I am glad you are here reaching out for support.

[DonnaEll]

I’m in therapy and I’m seeing a shrink to help with meds. I was on Zoloft for 27 years than it stopped working. Then I lost my hose, my stuff and my mom. My little brother moved to Colorado and I went into debt having to live in a hotel. Fortunately we have friends that let us stay with them. My son is with his girlfriend at a wedding or something and isn’t with me all the time anymore. I can’t be by myself cuz I’m a mess when I am. My older brother has helped me financially a few times but is emotionally distant. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m constantly suicidal but not actively. I just want to be normal again.

[gajh in reply to DonnaEll]

I am so glad to hear that you are in therapy. Are the friends that you are staying with a support system to you at all? Have you found anything that helps to comfort you? Something to help you get through the day. I just hope that you are being gentle with yourself and not giving yourself a hard time on top of it all. I am sure that you are doing your very best. Be sure to give yourself credit for what you are doing. Just getting through each day is enough.

[DonnaEll]

edit from last post should have been house, not hose.

[litethatnevergoesout]

keep going. You can do it.