Imposter syndrome

[Probabilatizzle05]

I feel like I'm faking my MDD for attention. But I think I just want someone to care about the fact that I'm struggling. Is that a form of imposter syndrome?

[Dolphin14]

Hi

I'm confused because you say you are struggling. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting people to care about you.

🐬

[Probabilatizzle05 in reply to Dolphin14]

I'm just worried that I'm over exaggerating. But like I know I'm not because I have panic attacks alone and other stuff like that so... I'm just wondering if anyone else feels like that I guess.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Probabilatizzle05]

Hi

In hindsight, after years of therapy, I felt less " real" trying to hide from my feelings. So kind of the opposite of what you are saying

Some people in our life may look at us that way, as if it's drama. But, when you are experiencing a panic attack or an anxiety attack it is real and we know this.

Do you feel like they don't believe you?

I think it's a great question you have posed.

[Probabilatizzle05 in reply to Dolphin14]

I feel like they don't think it's severe.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Probabilatizzle05]

It's so hard to feel like we have to "prove" our mental illness.

What I keep telling myself and some people in my life is.... you don't live in my head, you have no idea.

Please remember that those of us that live with this know it is real. We know what you feel is real and we can validate your feelings.

I hope you are doing ok

[Trevtian in reply to Probabilatizzle05]

Unless they take the time to read and research, they won't understand. and even then they may not understand how we feel. Because they have never felt it. Talking to other people like you helps. Talk to your therapist. I know I unload on her every Saturday morning lol

[Mofro]

I understand your concern, but I don't believe you're faking anything. I understand completely how you might be feeling, because it's been that kind of day for me and I just don't think anyone does care anymore at this point. All day I've been feeling I'm on the verge of a panic attack, and I haven't had one in years.

Everyone needs to feel like someone cares, if only one person in the world. The people I wish cared for me, my brothers and sisters, may say they do but it often feels like "lip service" at best. Other people in my life have quit caring long ago. It's not like I haven't tried to talk to them numerous times and have tried numerous ways to explain how I'm feeling at this point in my life, but they just don't get it. I don't think they realize it's so bad, and has been for so long, that I might just become another statistic. I end up feeling like you, that I'm over exaggerating and being dramatic. But inside I know different, and l guess I'm lucky knowing myself enough that I won't become another statistic. Sometimes I don't know if that's really being lucky, because the alternative is to just keep on suffering in silence, feeling as if I'm a burden to this world. I don't know of a worse way to feel quite frankly. If there is something worse, I don't want to feel it. So I come here to read and at times share if I'm able.

So in trying to answer your question, does anyone else feel like you, I can definitely tell you at least one person does and I get it. I wish someone that said they cared about me would get it. I wish they could live in my brain for just one day and then they would get it. They would wonder how I've lasted this long and why I didn't ask for help. It's not over until it's over. I'm sorry you're feeling the way you do. All I can tell you it's often a reflection of other's in our lives and their inability to have empathy, and nothing to do with ourselves. It sure feels like it a lot though. Keep coming here when you feel you need someone to care, if only one person in the world. I'm sure you'll find many more than that.

[CocoaBlanco]

Everyone's condition is on a spectrum, and we all feel dramatic, or minimized at times. It is just a part of being, and it can be easy to forget that we all struggle at times, and there is always help if we look in the right place.

[Mofro]

You hit the nail right on the head, which describes my current living environment. It's not only frustrating, but in some cases may be the difference to someone in choosing life or death. I try and try to educate family who tell me they love me. I keep trying in different ways, and have been for years, hoping something will finally get across to them. I continually come away feeling invalidated in what I'm saying. What I usually get runs the gamut, from being compared to others in my family who may have experienced depression at some point in their lives, to being asked why I have to keep beating a dead horse. If I display any type of anger, hey, you need to get help for your anger issue. I've been asked why I'm always absorbed in myself and told that it's not all about me. Maybe because I feel I'm in a daily struggle for my sanity and I'd like to experience living before I die. Maybe because I've been struggling with this for 50+ years. Quite frankly, I think they just get tired of hearing about it, and I guess I don't blame them in a way, but hello, please help me. I'm currently experiencing very high anxiety and depression for more than one reason, but the main driving force is feeling so alone with all of it when I have family that says they love me , but it seems only to a certain point. It's like if they really listen to what I'm trying to say it will jump off of me onto them. I know all of it is affecting me physically as well, and it's only a matter of time before it catches up to me.

But you know, I'm just being overly-emotional and dramatic, so disregard my rant. Thanks for listening, I needed that. I just don't know if I fully articulated what I was trying to say because I'm a freaking mess right now. I'm just upset and "angry". So I come here for some type of comfort because I feel family just doesn't care, or are too lazy to care.

[Emanname]

I’m glad I stumbled upon this group because reading everyone’s stories and experiences makes me feel validated. When I myself have felt so invalidated by my loved ones for so long. I’m saddened we all (need) to be living through such hard lives, having any mental illness isn’t easy, but thank you all for sharing with us! I only wish MDD was taken as seriously as cancer or a cut off limb.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Emanname]

I agree.

[Mofro in reply to Emanname]

It is sad it's so hard for people to see emotional pain vs. physical pain, even if you try in every way to describe the emotional pain you're in. I've never had physical pain that made me think I might be better off leaving this world, but I've been there numerous times in my life because of MDD. If people see you on a crutch, they want to jump in and help. I've been to the point of breaking down and crying from my emotional pain, and maybe I got a hug. Unfortunately they only think you're having a bad day. In a way, I get it, but it doesn't take away from the sadness of it all. Many people often just suffer in silence. I know I often do, and not for lack of trying to get help. That's why it's so important to have more places like this for people in emotional pain to come, share and not feel totally alone. Glad you stumbled here. 🙂