A Quick poem...

[SLE15]

I waned to say something to my partner that I can't.

So I'm posting this poem out there in the community, just to see if I'm loosing my mind, (even more)!

I should point out that poetry immediately written when I'm feeling something, is how I express myself. So here it is...

I just watched "Love and Other Drugs".

I saved it for a dark quiet morning alone;

and I was right to wait till you weren't home.

Now I wonder whether I should hold you to your Love...

Should I keep you at your word, no matter how bad things get for you?

Or hold my thoughts and tongue; stay selfish but untrue.

I am sick and I may die.

But it's worse to see the tears you cry.

I may live with nothing of what you Loved left. and yet you will stay, but will you regret?

So do I make you leave this hell of mine?

Or could I hold you just one more time?

And where's the line?

Do I keep you for a month, or just for tomorrow?

Should I say the joy will always over-wiegh the sorrow?

I want to be strong but I'm surviving by your touch

We've gone this long, still, is it too much????

[Nanuuk]

That is so beautiful, thank you for sharing with us.

[janiceray]

thanks for sharing that with us

[barkleysgirl]

I felt the same way after watching that movie,and your poem made me cry. I first took sick the week before my hen weekend! I missed my hen and on our wedding day I really was not myself,the day after I was in hospital,with the threat of missing our amazing honeymoon to America! We went on honeymoon and still had wonderful,unforgetable trip of a lifetime. I sometimes feel so sorry for husband as I am not as outgoing,social or pretty (i feel) as I used to be. We have had a tough start to our married life,both of us, but I remind myself of the things we do have,and that we are lucky in other ways. The fact is if the shoe was on the other foot I would never leave my husband, and just like in the movie,it would be his choice to make,I could not tell him to go!

In the meantime, I try to stay thankful for what I do have and enjoy the good days!

Good luck and big hugs SLE15, keep the chin up xxx

Success is to live well,laugh often,love much!

[lowicklady55]

very touching. Life is a partnership, love conquers all. My hubby has had 2 life threating episodes. An over active thyroid left him like a Belsen victim and then 4 years ago he had a brain heamorrage, followed by 6 months of depression. When he talks he has a 10-15 second blip, like part of him has died.

Me I was never ill, until last year. He is very understanding and comes to all appts with me. It certainly was an eyeopener for the sle, and yes it has changed him, more co-operative towards me. An almost perfect gentleman

[loopy-lou]

Very touching and so well expressed. You are not loosing your mind! Remain well and positive x

[else5]

how lovely thank you i makes you feel you are not alone we all feel as if we are loosing our mind at times chin up and try and smile thank you again x

[JSue]

very moving, thanks for sharing x

[SLE15]

Thanks for all you gracious replies. Yet again, I am overwhelmed by the compassion and understanding I find here. Thank you.xx

[lupydragon]

lovely poem, sometimes the best way to say whats on our mind

[SLE15 in reply to lupydragon]

exactly my thought

[Looby]

I have a BIG lump in my throat after reading your O-so-True poem....... I met my wonderful (2nd)husband in my late 50s...we worked together as colleagues for 2 years before the Lupus symptoms hit. We share a similar warped sense of humour, and this really helps to balance the times when nothing feels funny!

Next month, we'll be up to our 5th Wedding Anniversary and I just could not imagine life without him, even though I know it must happen some time in the future...... He seems to be able to see the "real" me, underneath the zombie-person who is unable to move in the mornings, but I do fear that somehow that personality will gradually be lost along with the memory cells! He doesn't like cooking, booking holidays or gardening - so when I have enough energy, I do my "bit" there - however, there is more "give" on his side, and I have to graciously accept that.

I take my hat off to all those of you who manage on your own, and/or with children......just a couple of hours with two grandchildren and I'm exhausted!

[SLE15 in reply to Looby]

Thank you. It's nice to know it can work out and there's other happy couples out there.x

[frizzylizzy1974]

a lovely poem SLE15, it's got me in tears though, I'm currently single and long to have a partner but i need to remember that being in a relationship with this illness brings its own obstacles as does being single! best wishes xxx

[SLE15 in reply to frizzylizzy1974]

I think the right person excepts you with everything, just as you except them! But it's putting them through your own trauma which I'm finding hard to deal with.

This is kinda new to me; the last person I dated for three years left, after I became really sick. So it's new to me to have someone to see and care so much.

I keep saying "Are you sure?" and "You're not obligated you know; if you want, you can leave", "I'd rather know if it's too much!"

Point is, he hasn't and I don't think, will leave. So keep going on with you're life, and whoever is lucky enough to fall in love with you, will be just that...Lucky!

[frizzylizzy1974 in reply to SLE15]

aww i just left a long reply and its gone! thanks SLE15 i'm glad you have a special someone who treats you with the love and respect you deserve thanks for the reply it means a lot , and i'd love to read more of your peoms best wishes liz x