lupus and babies ??

i hate lupus most of the time but usually deal with it the best way i can be strong and never let it win... i am on various medication for lupus and currently having an iv drip with steroids ect on a 2 weekly basis for the next 3 months i was told when i first started treatment for lupus it would not be a good idea to get pregnant which was fine im 37 i have an amazing 8 year old (who never slept as a baby) so we had pretty much decided 1 was enough it was fine but now it seems everyone who is close to me is pregnant next door neighbour due aug sister in law due sep and my best friend in the world told me today she is due in oct dont get me wrong im pleased for them all but i cant help thinking its so unfair i would have given anything to have a girl but it was just not ment to be i feel feally selfish for thinking this way but cant get it out of my head i dont even know if i would have one if i could but the more pregnant people i see the more it hurts my husband is great but he really doesnt get how i feel am i being over sensative for wanting something i know i cant have or do i just want it because i know i cant have it ....

5 Replies

  • helen3d;

    I know exactly how I you feel........I was only 16 years old when I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus. I have two sisters and three brothers. Later in life my middle sister got pregnant and so did I. She gave birth to a baby boy and I had a miscarriage. Then my youngest sister got pregnant and I got pregnant she had a baby boy and I had a miscarriage. Steadily my lupus become more of a problem. I had many health problems associated with Lupus and was hospitalized many times. Then my husband and I separated in June of 1991 and on Nov. 3 he called and ask me out for my birthday, I was to have surgery in Jan. 1992 due to AVN which was due to the lupus and steroid use. They were rebuilding my right knee, so I went to get my pre-surgery bloodwork and on New Year Day 1992 I received a call from my Doctor saying that they did the bloodwork and that I was pregnant, of course I didn't think it what end in birth but I kept a positive attitude. Well, on Aug. 9, 1992 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who is the light of my life. I was 33 years old. My daughters Dad and I divorced but have remained good friends and she is first in our lives. I then remarried in 1999 and am happily married. I always wanted more than one child but I'm very grateful that I have my daughter, but I truly know how you feel. Keep your chin up and stay healthy.......

  • thankyou for taking the time to comment it means alot :) xx

  • i was adopted so i would never rule it out but to be honest im not even sure want another one it was just that it seemed everyone around me was pregnant and it was something i couldnt have that got to me but thankyou for replying xx

  • Reading your comments i just had to reply. I have SLE and was not diagnosed until my third baby. I had been in and out of hospital since I was young with different complaints but they could never quite put their finger on it. Now to the point. My first baby was born at 32 weeks weighing just 2lb 3oz my second baby 27 weeks 1lb 15 oz and my third 1lb and my third baby 24 weeks after struggling for a month died of an infection but the hospital did not pick up the infection and did say it was their fault!However, I then complained and said this was not normal and after suffering from miscarriages my third was twins. I had, had enough and wanted them to investigate low and be hold I had lupus. They discovered that Heperain would have at least helped my third baby if not all of them. They warned that I would have to have bed rest from about 25 weeks until the birth in hospital to try and keep the baby due to my flare ups and to assist the baby. My first a girl is now 13 my second a boy is 12 (my third would have been 7) the two children are in top streams for everything. I am now 45.

  • I was diagnosed with SLE at 25, I had fallen pregnant twice before diagnosis which resulted in miscarraige. I tried again around 5 years ago to no avail...I am now 37 and 2 years ago I adopted a beautiful baby girl who was only 17 days old (she had suffered non accidental injuries) her parents had another child last year (a boy) and we adopted him at 1 day old....they are the light of my life and I wouldn't change anything.....I do struggle with Lupus but I have plenty of support around me and to be honest its the kids that get me through the worse times xx

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