Feeling nervous

[MelAlice]

Hi all,

No advice needed, just needed somewhere to write down my worries! I have several big things going on this week and I'm so nervous it will bring on a flare up. My boyfriend is walking 100 miles along the south downs way over the weekend, in one go! I'm part of the support team, which means following him in the car and helping at road crossings, food stops etc. My boyfriend is so worried that it's too much for me and I'm determined to show him it's not! I also went to the gynaecologist yesterday and had 4 biopsies taken from my womb, with no form on anaesthetic, god did that hurt! Still feels like I've been punched in the stomach, but I have more tablets to go alongside all the others! Also, to top it all of, my beloved horse may be sold on monday, after the walk. I have someone coming to see her but from quite a distance so they may bring a lorry to take her straight away. I think that may be the icing on the cake that tips me over I love her dearly but just don't have the energy anymore. Trying to keep positive but it's very hard to!

[misty14]

Hi Melalice

Good luck with all that you've got going on this weekend!. Your being very brave and practical about your horse, shows how much you do love him but sending him to a home where he'll get what he needs. Look after yourself, lots of TLC when you can. X

[MelAlice in reply to misty14]

Thanks Misty14, it's breaking my heart but I know it's for the best. I'm hoping it'll get me through the weekend, something to think about rather than how tired I am!!

[Catlady56]

You are doing the right thing for your horse. She will get the attention that she needs and you wont have to feel anxious because you can no longer give her the care she requires. Concentrate on backing up your partner on his walk - you can do it. It will take your mind off things and will give you a great sense of achievement. Totally sympathise with the womb biopsy - same happened to me in 2009 - hurt like buggery! Was male Gynae. I wished him to come back as a woman next time and go through that!

Enjoy your weekend - all will be well. Sending you calm vibes and a hug

[MelAlice in reply to Catlady56]

Thanks catlady56, I have the new itinerary for the weekend and they're certainly keeping me busy with marshalling I am looking forward to looking after Chris for a change!!

[Fennella02]

Hi MelAlice. I can so empathise with your pain about letting your beloved horse go. My beautiful, home-bred 5 y/o became too much for me and I had to let him go. I had bred his Mum too so the bond was very strong. My hands were so painful that I couldn't lead him even in a bridle - the snapping point was when he tore out of my hands and legged it towards the M5 kicking mud as he went into the tears that were coursing down my face. I felt so beaten and defeated. I flared badly within just a couple of hours of loading him into the lorry and it tore my heart in two but I had no choice. He now has the competition home he needed and the decision was right for us both.

I know that you have agonised over this decision and it's very upsetting but you need to be kind to yourself in order to stay well. The biopsies sound horrid - you're very brave. I hope all goes well for you over the coming days, I shall be thinking of you x

[MelAlice in reply to Fennella02]

Thanks clareb67, it's so nice to hear of others out there that have been through what I'm going through, it makes me feel better about my decision that I'm not alone in getting to the stage of not being able to cope anymore. It will be hard but the lady interested sounded just perfect on the phone, it does feel like the right thing, as much as it hurts. Xx

[juneybells]

Hope the walk went well and the results from the biopsy are good. Sending a hug x

[MelAlice]

Hi to all you lovely caring people who replied to my post. Just wanted to briefly update you all. My partner Chris completed his 103 mile walk in 40 hours and I managed to support him through the whole thing with only a couple of hour cat naps! I've been looking after him since, but he's doing so well I'm so in awe of him! But I'm also so pleased that so far no flare!! my horse is technically sold, the lady came on Tuesday to see her, she's so nice and I feel so much happier I'm doing the right thing now. She's picking her up this weekend, which will be hard but not as hard as I was expecting. So just waiting on the gynaecology stuff now! I have my next appointment in 6 weeks, just need a scan before that. Thanks to you all for your kind words and support, I don't know what I'd do without it love to you all xxx