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My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer on his 51st birthday in August 16, it was a terrible shock as he was having treatment for a burst spinal vertebra which was pressing on his spinal cord causing temporary paralysis so had his spine fused with 12 screws, 6 rods & 2 titanium plated & to learn to walk again. When he had his operation they found the damage to his back was caused by metastatic cells. His tumour was a 2a but as he has Mets in the spine, sacrum & liver he's stage 4. He's had radiotherapy to his spine & 3 out of 6 lots of chemotherapy which has been giving him a bit of an arse kicking ending up in hospital for dehydration, blood transfusion, platelet transfusion, sodium, potassium & antibiotics for neutroponic sepsis, pancytopenia, epistaxis.

Learning how to deal with all the life changes has been an emotional journey as our life was mapped, we've been together since I was 14 we have got 2 beautiful daughters, 2 adorable grandsons, another on the way & our 2 dogs so have lots to fight for. We thought it was our time to enjoy being just us again but that all changed in 4 little words.

We are a very positive family & accept that this is how things are so we change & adapt to make it work. I'm immensely proud of my husband, in awe of the strength he has shown through everything. But being together for 34 years I hardly remember a time before us & can't imagine a life without us.

The doctors haven't said anything about time so we try to spend quality time with our family & friends making more happy memories. Just wanted to say Hi really as I have drawn great strength from this community page, puts so much in perspective but mostly stops you from doing it alone.

17 Replies

  • Don't give up hope! No one knows how long he's got, there are 10 year survivors and many treatments for lung cancer. I'm stage 4 as well, diagnosed over a year ago (also when I was 51) and I'm doing really well. Walking daily, swimming one to two times a week. Life is such a gift and I take it one day at a time. Stay strong :)

  • Thank you for taking the time to reply, life is a gift & I have been very blessed. I'm pleased to hear that you are doing so well, long may it continue. Gives me hope 😁

  • Hi Swiftnick, Oh! bless your hearts, I'm truly sorry. I'm so thankful that you are a strong family, and you have your fists up for a fight. I am a stage four person as well. It's wonderful that he has a wife who could take it on board and fight with him. My cancer is rarely mentioned at home, as my husband can't handle it, but never mind, we just have to get on with it. May the Father keep you strong. And never say 'Why Me' you dwell on that and your life has been wasted, like a lot of people. My prayers go with you. Virgi.

  • Thank you for your lovely message. We are lucky that we can fight this together, you sound like a strong amazing women with such positivity, getting on with things is what we do. I'm sorry that your husband is unable to talk about cancer, there are several members of my husband's family who avoid us rather than talk to us. Take care of yourself 😁

  • Your story is like ours in many ways and you are showing strength and concentrating on the here and now and celebrating yours and your lovely husbands life daily is the way I am coping. I need to sign off now but will write more later date much love Tracey x

  • Keep up with good efforts .I am stage 4 diagnosed over a year ago and going strong!!

  • Thank you & right back at you 😁

  • Then there are those like me: My husband was 40 and I was 39 when he just up and died in his sleep of a heart attack after being married for 25 years. I am now 68 with COPD problems, going through it all by myself, and still missing my husband. Prayers for you. Let the memories you have acquired help you later in life.

  • I'm sorry that you lost your husband so suddenly & far too soon also that you are having to deal with COPD alone. Thank you for taking the time to reply, we will keep you in our prayers stay strong.

  • Thank you kind person and just appreciate what you do have as that is all we can do. I am sure your husband appreciates having you there for him. Best wishes for you and your's.

  • Hi. Our story sounds very similar to yours.

    My husband never received the new immunotherapy drugs like Opdivo. I

    Would urge you to try it. I lost my husband, so I would urge you to try

    It. People seemed to have good results

    With it. My husband had 1 dose of chemo that almost killed him after all the radiation & surgery. I don't think it helped

    Him one bit. He died 2 mos. after receiving 1 chemo treatment, never could have anymore. Take care. I definitely know what you are going thru. ❤

  • Hi Glynn2890 thank you for replying I'm sorry that you lost your husband it's an evil disease & treatment.

    I really appreciative you telling me about opdivo cos I know so little about what happens after chemo. I will definitely be speaking to the consultant next week.

    Hope you are doing okay, take care of yourself 💖

  • hi Swiftnick13 hope the weekend went well for you and your husband and i hope that you get some answers next week from the oncologist about the treatment plan. we have the oncologist on the 12th to find out how the ct scan went which Daryl had on the 28th - fingers are of course closed that his target therapy giotrif is working. Daryl is doing well health wise and i am so thankful for this. i have to restart work tomorrow after 4 months off sick - i am dreading it but have to try it but will find leaving Daryl so hard as we have been together since his diagnosis and i am not sure if going back is right but we will need the money. This whole disease is so hard in every respect. Obviously if the news on the 12th Janusary from the scan is not good ( which it will will will be) i would stop working again as supporting Dayl is my main priority. i wish you much love Tracey x

  • Hi Tracey, hope you both have had a good weekend, we had a quiet but lovely weekend, it hasn't felt this normal for months, we are trying to enjoy the next week till Nick starts chemotherapy again as it really does kick his butt. We will keep our fingers crossed for positive news on 12th, the fact that Daryl is healthy is good, our biggest problems have been caused by Nick being unwell whilst trying to overcome major surgery & trying to stand & walk again.

    I can understand you worrying about having to go back to work especially since you have been together since diagnosis but finance always rears its ugly head. I've had to give up work as Nick needs such a lot of care as he can't walk or stand unaided. Daryl is obviously your main priority but all you can do is see how things go.

    This disease is definitely hard it changes your life completely & is a physical & emotional rollercoaster.

    Will be thinking of you tomorrow let me know how you get on. Love Jude

  • Just wondered if your husband has been tested for mutations. I was 49 when diagnosed 3 years ago and have a mutation which mean that I can have targeted treatment. Younger people esp non smokers often have mutations but may not be checked for them. Wishing you and your husband all the best Xx

  • Thank you Bow-19 for asking this question cos as far as I'm aware he hasnt been tested for mutations, this will be added to my every growing list of questions for our consultant. In just a few days of joining I have been given such helpful information & understanding it's great. Best wishes to you & family xx

  • It's worth looking up about ALK mutation and EGFR mutation there are others too. The Roy Castle website has a booklet on targeted therapies, it's on line so have a read of that too. People seem to slip through the net and not be tested. I would have been with my local hospital as the consultant had never seen anyone with ALK gene before and so didn't test for it!!! This is what he said after I was diagnosed by a better hospital. I went back to see him and told him what had happened in a formal meeting hoping that he would learn!! In my current hospital also NHS I have received excellent care and the staff are very aware of mutations. I have seen research since that shows people here and in America are being missed. Please do ask. Sorry for the rant. Best wishes Xx

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