Sorry to post such negativity, but I am struggling at the moment. Having had chemo constantly throughout last year and suffered with all the side effects, I was told a few weeks ago I had two new tumours. The pluerodesis operation at christmas didn't work so a second operation to insert a catheter drain was done. Unfortunately this didn't go to plan and I had to have a 'handbag' drain for several more weeks than expected. This was then removed and a catheter drain inserted with a view to then trying new chemo. The chemo had to be delayed as I contracted an infection in the fluid within my lung and have had to complete a course of antibiotics. I am finding it so very hard to stay ontop of things, the oncologist and McMillan nurse is wonderful & are trying to get ontop of my medication to help with the pain, but we haven't had much success to date. I am either awake and in horrid pain, unable to function. Or having taken so much pain relief I sleep to escape from the pain. When the pain takes hold I find myself wishing the most horrid things just to escape the pain. I desperately want to fight along with my family but I seem to be spiralling out of control very quickly since Easter. I have lost all my appetite and am now 7stone 2lb. My husband drains my lung every day but I am finding the pain very severe and am becoming more and more afraid of doing this. I have another appointment this Wednesday with the oncologist to hopefully start the new chemotherapy. We have everything crossed that this new chemotherapy will work and at least halt the tumours, shrinkage would be wonderful. Does anyone have any ideas how I can stay positive. Although I am surounded by the most wonderful family and awsome friends I still feel terribly alone and cannot see light at the end of the tunnel. This is such an awful illness, no matter what we try we hit a brick wall, just a little bit of good news would help. Does anybody have any help.
Kind regards, Tallulah Mae.