I was unable to have my third round of chemo therapy due to an infection. The infection is now being treated. An X-ray showed that a lot was going on in my lung. A further scan showed that my left lung had totally collapsed and there was a blockage in the airway. I am now due to go into hospital on Thursday for an operation to remove the blockage. It could simply be a build up of mucus, a blood clot or the tumour growing which means the new chemo isn't working.
The airway being blocked makes sense as I have been more breathless recently and my cough has become more persistent. The chest drain I have fitted is still draining a mixture of fluid and blood which the oncologist and surgeon are unsure about.
I would really like some good news at some point. I smile, pop on a wig or bandana and push myself so very hard to try and lead a normal life. I often say "I'm fine' when really I want to curl up in bed and cry. I feel myself tumbling into a large black hole, my husband and teenage daughter are being wonderful. I just need something positive for them, to see their faces light up again would be magical x
I wish I could wave a magic wand and you would be on the road to recovery. Sadly I can't, but will keep praying for a solution. You certainly deserve it. xx
Hi Lulla, I'm sure I'm not alone when I say please don't fall into that large black hole, in fact we won't allow it and will be standing by with a large safety net to stop you falling, we'll even fill the hole in just to make doubly sure. You know what I'm trying to say. I'm just so sorry that you are having another knock back with your treatment. Sending positive hugs and thoughts. Moni xx
Hi Lulla
You don't deserve all these extra complications that you going through. You are an inspiration to all that suffer from this terrible illness and I hope that all goes well next week.
you have been such an inspiration to all that have followed you in your fight. I'm sending you many healing ((((hugs)))) and praying very hard for you sweetheart.
Lulla - you are so brave and such a hope for other people with your positivity - I can't imagine how you must feel - if it was me I would be so scared and would probably want to fall into that black hole, but please try and make every moment count........its so awful this disease and to be smitten so young and vibrant it is so very unfair..........wishing you all the best for your procedure next Thursday - Tania xxx
Since reading your last comments you have been on my mind, but so hard to think of something constructive and encouraging. I also have been encouraged by you in the past and so want to give you words of support.
My mind only turns out the usual - but I am weeding in the garden and thinking of you as the sun shines and birds sing and I shall continue to have you in my thoughts hoping only the best for you. I am thinking of you in the bandana, you sound as if you are fun - don't let this illness take the 'real you' away. By the way I hate weeding but this illness has taught be to slow down and really treasure every moment.
I would like to thank you all for your kind words to Lulla, her real name is Lisa she is my darling sister and the most important person which was in my life. I am sorry to say that she lost her fight with cancer early this morning after catching a virus which just finished her off, I wish you all the best of luck in your futures and keep fighting, lisa gave us 2 years more of her life then they said she would. My heart is braking. Kerri her sister
Sorry to hear this sad news but thank you so much for letting us know. Lisa (Lulla) has been a loved and important part of this community. I know that many people have drawn support from her thoughtful postings and generosity in sharing her experience and energy with others on this site. I would like to pass on our condolences to you, your brother in law, niece and family. I hope you can draw comfort from each other and share your memories of a vibrant woman. Our thoughts are with you,
Lorraine on behalf of the Information & Support team
My heartfelt condolences to you and Lisa's husband and daughter. I just cannot believe she has gone, she was such an inspiration to us and her words of wisdom will be missed so very, very much. Even though we never met I feel I have lost a friend. Moni xx
So sorry to hear this Kerri. Lulla/Lisa was a very special person to all of us on this site, and gave hope and encouragement to many. We will all miss her involvement, and as Moni says, it feels like we have lost a personal friend. My condolences to you all. Bill x
My sincere condolences to you Kerri and to Lulla/Lisa's family. It was a shock to hear your news as I thought that Lisa would fight through all that was thrown at her. May she Rest in Peace now.
I am so sorry to hear this, I lost my wife Chris in August to this disease so I know how you are feeling right now. My feelings at the moment is that she had done all her work here, helping others, and now she has completed her task so it was time to move on. It is hard for us who are left behind but I have been told time will heal, although they will never be out of our hearts. Des. xxxx
I am so sorry to hear the sad news of Lulla/Lisa's passing. I had many messages with her over the last year and she always tried to help with her advice. She was an important part of this community and she will be missed by all.
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