I started my account three years ago. At the time, I was having breathing issues and physical symptoms of weakness and shaking.
Don't let that short intro fool you though. My list of symptoms there isn't exhaustive. I was a complete mess; constantly scouring the internet for answers, jumping from Dr. to Dr. for a diagnosis, moving to different therapists, trying medication and constantly asking on here for help (actually pleading and begging). In short, I was a disaster.
At the time, I was a husband and a new father to my second little girl into the world. Picture perfect: Married, good job, two healthy and happy kids, nice house/things. Perfect....
In reality, I was holding so much emotional turmoil inside that my mind broke down and everything around me crumbled.
Three years later: I'm divorced and see my kids every Wednesday and every other weekend. I first would blame this on anxiety and say this is the price of it and what it takes.
But that's not true.
That's the price of growth. That is cost of the opportunity to learn and be stripped bare.
I was given the chance to remove the noise and actually focus on the emotional root of my issues.
What my life once was will never be again. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing!
My therapy takes hold a lot stronger now. My internal thought process has improved and I have learned to talk to myself in a much kinder way.
I share all of this because I once was critical and wanted my anxiety to suddenly stop and my life to go back to what it was. I didn't want the future, I wanted the past. Ironically though, the past is what damaged me to the point of breaking. What I really wanted was to be at the point where I could push my emotions down and not face my problems, I fought growth.
There is no easy fix to any of this. But there is hope. It starts with kindness towards yourself and rolling up your sleeves to actually deal with your fears.
That may take medication, that may take meditation, books, therapy....everyone's path is different.
If you're reading this, you deserve peace. Allow yourself that relief and be mindful with how you talk to yourself. Be your biggest but most humble supporter.
Best of luck and I believe in you!
Dealing with a bad panic attack :(