Just want to be alone and leave this world but I love my family too much so I stay and be miserable

[Starrlight]

I have to be there for my family and help my kids get ready for the day... but I wish I could just be alone as I’m so irritable and I am sick and tired of life and I want to die now. I’m being good to them as usual and hiding my feelings so as not to hurt them and it’s really difficult faking happiness. I’m tired. I feel like it’s my fault that I’m so stressed but I don’t know how to fix it. I’m worrying about some things to come. I need someone in my corner. I feel so alone. Im doing what I can to care for myself.

[Florida1959]

My ex has just taken his own life, and we are all devastated, please take heart, know you are loved xxx

[Starrlight in reply to Florida1959]

Oh no I’m so so sorry my friend! That’s sooooo horrible! I’m here for you (((((((((hug))))))))

[Hidden]

Hello

Slightly useless at the moment but sending hugs

Take Care x

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Lulu!!! How are you doin today?

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Still not great my anxiety is at another level I have never known before

Thank you for asking my friend x

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Oh noooo! I’m so sorry. I wish I had a magic wand, I’d wish you well... I will be over here if you need to talk it out!

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

I wish you had one to

Thank You x

[Dorsey in reply to Starrlight]

Oh starrlight so sorry your feeling that way but your not alone. I know you are an amazing person the way you write about something you have a quality like no one i know. Can honestly say I'm the same at the moment every day is a struggle i too wonder if it's all worth it. But i know there are so many of us that feel like this. Stay strong for yourself and those who love you. Sending hugs from Australia.XX

[Starrlight in reply to Dorsey]

You just made my day my friend. You are sweet. I’m sorry every day is a struggle for you as well,... it should not be so difficult but we are strong enough to make it in life. We have to. Everything will work out. You know what? I love Australia. I wrote a 25 page report about it in sixth grade. Always wanted to visit, maybe some day...Blessings to you

[baha-3]

Hi Starlight. I know how you feel as a parent. It is not easy! It can get too much easily but hang on there. I was feeling very similara few days ago. Sending you hugs.

[Starrlight in reply to baha-3]

Thanks yes there’s hope for better times.

[Want2BHappy3]

It doesn’t have to be that way? Get into Counseling?

[Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3]

I am in counseling. Having a decent day today so far.

[Junglegirl_1998]

Ohhhh Starrlight, we never see ourselves like others do, do we, please look into your family’s hearts and souls and see the love they hold for you, but they can’t help you unless you let them in. It’s ok to not be brave, it’s ok to be off your game, it’s ok to need a strong hand ...,it’s ok for you to feel lost, but always remember it’s ok to be loved and wanted too, it’s also ok for you to push and push and push for help.

You have strength xx

[Starrlight in reply to Junglegirl_1998]

Thank you soooo!

[Survivor4Ever]

It’s terrible your going through that. I use affirmations like “I am not my feelings “I am not my thoughts”I am not my moods”I don’t have to believe every thought I think” these affirmations help me remember. There is the free app called MindShift it helps shift your mind. Maybe you might want to check it out. It helps me. Food for thought. Also I tell everyone this Feelings change all the time. Which is why they can’t be trusted. Especially if they are based on thoughts that lie to us. So not all thoughts that come across in our head can be trusted if you know what I mean . I hope you feel better

[Starrlight in reply to Survivor4Ever]

I’ll check it out, thanks. What you say makes sense.

[Hidden]

Hi I am sorry you are feeling so low I have been there but now I have taken up meditation and given up alcohol as was making me feel worst and I had suicide thoughts my cat and my mam were my only reason to go on I have just joined Buddah community site on here I am sure it will help you take care I am sending loving thoughts to you x

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Good luck with the new site; hope it’s helpful.

I’m trying to give up alcohol too right now.

I guess I’m up and down and I didn’t even recall being so down seven days ago. Scary.

Love ❤️ backatchya

[Hidden]

Good morning I feel so much better for not drinking I read it changes our brain chemicals and even though we think it's a comfort and a friend really it's our worst enemy, i became more dependant on it after loosing my dream home and my dad dying I had supressed grief the drink put thoughts of self harm in my brain, I never could imagine life without been able to drink I'm very health conscious and always intended just a few to comfort me ending in more and more as it keeps up without us rising we have become dependant, I met such wonderful people at AA , I honestly can say your mam is living on in spirit and always just a thought away, I have had experience of spiritual energy comforting me prey to them and they will be by your side it hurts them when they see us in such pain, can I ask how much you are drink, I am safe now as living with my mam everyday we have a butterfly scotch that comes close to us we feel it is a spiritual energy we noticed it ever since my step dad died,they come in many forms you need to watch for the sines messages on bill boards , and more round me lately since my real dad died in June I also had anxiety about thinking my mam is going to die soon after my dad died but since I went to AA a calmness came over me I hope you have a more peaceful day I am here if you need me 🦋for you x

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Good morning... 🌞... yeah I’m quitting drinking too. I don’t want it to mess up my brain. It’s not worth the calm I feel and there are other ways of calming. I’m happy for you that you quit too.

[jayT67]

I don't know how to help very much as i'm in the same boat as you, but what I can offer is if you need to vent about how you feel you PM me how your feeling. What I've learned is being able to actually say it helps. Even writing it down and then burning it to make sure it stays only with you. I'm in your corner and I want to help. You got this one day at a time.

[Starrlight in reply to jayT67]

Thanks so much Jay! I love the idea of burning my personal writings. You can also pm me whenever. Thank you 🌞 hope you are having a good morning.

[jayT67 in reply to Starrlight]

I used to do that a lot when I was at my worst getting it all out helped. I know how hard it can be to share with people around you so just being able to get it out of my system was useful

[Starrlight in reply to jayT67]

Yeah definitely

[jayT67 in reply to Starrlight]

I hope it helps you. My inbox is always open tho if you need to talk