Two days ago I was pretty much okay and I shared here what I was thankful for. Yesterday I felt invincible and really driven. Now today I just want to end it all. Maybe I have been rapid cycling.
The pain is soooo great. Thank God I don’t think I would go through with it and do that to my kids, I can’t i just cannot, but I am thinking about it today non stop Thinking what if I could by making it look like an accident. Thinking how can I possibly keep going like this? I would never forgive myself if the kids found out I wanted to die. I feel so guilty for it now. I cannot take it anymore. Please help. But how? Nothing will help. If I tell anyone I know other than on here it will just make me feel worse and it’s very hard writing this right now. I feel embarrassed. I write here yet I don’t really think anything will help me. I just don’t know what else to do.