Living with Anxiety
3,596 members2,531 posts

New here needing help!!

Hi I’m new to this and just need some help with my anxiety..it developed recently after I had a baby due to delivery complications and health complications for me after. When I got home I was terrified to be alone Incase I had a seizure it was a concern in the hospital due to really high blood pressure.

I eventually got over the fear of seizures when my blood pressure returned to normal but then I developed a fear of something happening to me..I’m scared all the time I get weird sensations in my head that make me thing something is about to happen I have been having them for weeks and trying to convince myself it is normal with anxiety..

I haven’t had anxiety before this so not sure what is normal and what is not..I want to run to the doctor every minute..has anyone any tips or advice??Or what things are normal with this..the symptoms are very scarey..

My doctor says it’s all anxiety related and I have been to a therapist also..but just wondering what other people do it help and stuff this is all new to me..thanks in advance for any reply’s

28 Replies
oldestnewest

Firstly you've just had a baby and complications at the birth. Your hormones are all over the shop. Feeling somewhat anxious just after giving birth is quite normal. You have this tiny thing dependant on you for a start.

Do you have a new parent support group in your area? I think the NCT (National Childbirth Trust) may run some. Meeting people who are in the same boat perhaps might help. Perhaps your midwife or Health Visitor may know of a group.

Reply

Thank you for your reply..I will look into that iv been so busy worrying I never even thought of it

1 like
Reply

Hello & Welcome Jane1989 :-)

I am sorry you have been through so much trauma especially at what should have been the best time of your life having a baby which I hope despite what you went through you are enjoying your new born :-)

It takes one traumatic event to trigger anxiety and the roller coaster starts as the seed has been planted and in your case it was to do with your health

Now you will be focused on every feeling and sensation you have and you will be on alert all the time and when you feel something you will instantly fear and then that feeling magnifies by 100 , so where as someone else would feel something and as soon as it past ignore it we then are focused on it and find it hard to let go

I have some idea how you feel , when many years ago I had my first child I had some placenta left behind which ended up with me been rushed into hospital , I thought this was it and I remember the fear and who was going to look after my child ( even though she had a father ) but he would not be able to do as good a job as me and I would never see her grow up and so on and so on went the thoughts and when I came back out the hospital the thoughts never left but followed me home to

Then I spent years at the doctors I was a regular , if it was not a heart attack then it was a brain tumour if not that then it was something else and so on , even sometimes the Doctor would say to me if I had what I thought I had I would go down in medical history because some of the things I would come out with were not even possible but in my head they were

And this is called Health anxiety which can be brought on by a traumatic event , none of the deadly diseases are heads think we have but still a medical issue as anxiety is an illness like any other but one that can get better :-)

I have had sensations in my head , like I said I went to the Doctors with everything imaginable , always was told the same it was anxiety but did I put my trust in the Doctor that I went running to every two minutes of course not instead I let my anxiety grow and grow , I was miserable , I did not enjoy what should have been some of the best times in my life watching my child grow up because I let the anxiety have total control instead !

So what I would so strongly suggest is don't go down the path I went down you can take another one and I would choose to

Trust my Doctor

Maybe ask for some Counselling

Talk to others about how you feel especially those that understand and any sensible suggestions give them a try because they could very well help and tell that anxiety to do one because you are going to move on now :-)

We are always about if you need to chat and I hope knowing you are not alone will help even if in a small way :-)

Take Care x

Reply

Thank you so much for your lovely reply I really appreciate it!!i cry as I read your message because this is exactly what is happening me.

I have been to my doctor many times since my baby’s birth he prescribed me lexpro which I haven’t taken as I’m terrified of the side effects..I keep getting an awful fear that something is going to happen me I feel everything in my body now..

I am also seeing a counselor which is helping a small bit..

Thank you for sharing your story and sorry you went through that..I feel like u do like I’m wasting my time with my son..although I am enjoying him..

How did you recover?or is this something I will just have to learn to deal with and try and trust my doctor?

Thank you again for your reply..it’s nice to know I’m not alone and to talk with someone who has been through something similar I have great family friends and partner who are very supportive but I think it’s something that’s quiet hard to understand when you haven’t dealt with it yourself..

Thanks again x

Reply

Hello there :-)

I am pleased I could help you know you are not alone , I think that is the main thing on these Communities that we try and reach out to each other even if we don't always have the answers but to let each other know we do understand :-)

That was one of the hardest things for me over 30 years ago now , I felt so alone with my thoughts and fears , I felt I must me round the bend and the only person in the world that felt the way I did was such a frightening place to be and family would say the magic words of " Snap out of it , stop been silly " if only we could when we feel the way we do , if it was that easy we would but once a fear has set in and took control it is easier said than done but now we can openly talk about our anxiety I think that is a huge help and so you will be one leap ahead of me when I was suffering years ago because you can talk openly and especially on here no one will think what you say is silly because we have all had that fear that creates anxiety no matter what form it comes in

I was always waiting for the surgery to open most mornings and most evenings as back then you did not have to have appointments you would just sit and wait and there I would be sat on the cold concrete step waiting for those dreaded words to clarify my fears but instead would be told it was anxiety , yet when you get these sensations or pains they feel so real , that you think O goodness you have got this wrong , but believe me anxiety can give you and mimic so many physical conditions it is unbelievable !

Don't get me wrong in I am cured fully as I went years and years with no help where you are lucky that you can get help as soon as it has started so hopefully you won't suffer for years like I did but I think it is about firstly trusting your Doctor

I think like this , they trained at medical School for years they are qualified , they know more than I know when it comes to health and what would they gain by telling me the wrong thing , do they want to be struck of my getting things wrong of course not so with all that in mind why should I not trust them ?

Anxiety will be niggling and talking in your ear saying listen to me , not them because that is how it keeps control of us and if we stop listening to the anxiety then it looses control and it hates to loose but we have to be as strong as the anxiety and let it know slowly we are going to win :-)

Every negative thought you get , take a deep breath , a quite moment and think it through

For instance , you had a weird feeling in your head

Anxiety says , fear , this is serious , O this could be the end

Sense and positive thoughts say

OK I have a weird feeling , so I could be tired , it could be the heat , this is nothing more and it will pass , the Doctor says I am fine , I have no reason not to trust them they know better than me :-)

So yes there is no quick fix but it is about that negative thinking turning it into positive thinking , it is easier said than done but in time you can do it :-)

I totally get about medication I have the same fear , just one look at it and I am hyperventilating :-)

But when I have had to take it I have had to tell myself I am in control not the meds because I find when I trick my brain as it needs to feel in control this helps to :-)

Not everyone want's to take meds and some can manage without but I do think if you are really struggling then they do have a place even if short term as they do not have to be forever

Yes I know they list every side effect under the sun on them which again back in my day you would get a brown bottle , your name on it , how many to take and that was that and did you get any side effects , no not really because your brain again which is a wonderful thing was not aware there was any so you did not fear and because you did not fear you did not have side effects or if you did you just carried on taking them :-)

But I am not saying that sometimes you may get side effects , but they do pass most of the time and also you have to tell yourself that one tablet will not harm you and you will just take one for today , and then when the next day comes be in control again and say today I will try another one as it did not harm me yesterday and so on and before you know where you are the fear has gone and you feel confident about the meds and maybe even feel better in yourself because they are working :-)

But this is how I would approach it if I needed meds but if you are managing without then that is fine to :-)

Maybe start doing a dairy if you don't already , this can be something we can reflect on because when this anxiety is taking over our every thought and we feel we are not coping there are times when we have had a good day and have coped and got through certain situations but we never remember those a dairy can help us see what we sometimes forget :-)

Meditation , if you go on you tube and put in relaxation or meditation for anxiety so many spring up and some you just can't get into but there are so many there is always one that you think O yes this is helping me relax and switching me brain of and helping me get things in perspective :-)

I am pleased you are getting Counselling as well as having a loving family around you , sometimes Counselling can feel like maybe it is not working but I think it does help it is just that nothing will give us that quick fix we so desperately want but time will and you have time trust me you have many years ahead of you :-) x

Reply

Thank you for being so kind even talking to you has been a big help..if we did not have to wait for appointments these days I Probaly would of been to the doctors a lot more..

I diagnosed myself with a brain tumor, a stroke, a heart attack, pneumonia and the list goes on.. speaking out loud to family and friends they just say oh don’t be silly like you said you are used to but when it is in your own head it is very frightening.

That is a good way to look at with the meds..I will see after a few more counseling sessions and decide then.

Thank you for all your tips I try the breathing one and have started to keep a diary and when I get the fear I look back and think I had this the last day and I was fine..I never knew the symptoms could be so scarey and feel so real. And then when you feel something you focus on it and make it worse.

Anxiety is a vicious circle I feel if I didn’t get the symptoms I wouldn’t get the anxiety yet when I’m trying so hard not to feel anxious I am still aware and looking for the symptoms.

Thank you so much for taking the time to help me x

Reply

Hello :-)

I appreciate you thanking me but seriously no need as I believe if nothing else maybe we go through what we go through for a reason and that reason could be to help others :-)

No rush about the meds you may not decide to take them but if you do and need support just pop on and we will do our best :-)

O I can imagine the list I to over the years have had all that you have mentioned as well as lot's more , in fact it got to the stage where instead of my husband saying Good Morning he would say What have you got wrong with you this Morning and I would have some life threatening symptom I would reply with !

If I said Brain tumour for instance he would say O not a heart attack today then like yesterday :-/

Sometimes I have to have a sense of humour with all this and it would make me smile because the way he would say it I could see a funny side to it but having said that I know when I believe in what I am thinking is wrong with me that humour does get lost again

I think you are putting positive steps in place which gives me every confidence that you will come through all this and we are always here so no matter what is on your mind come on and have a chat when you need to :-)

See if maybe tomorrow just for one day no matter what your anxiety tells you is wrong you tell it to have a day of and push the thought away and change it with a positive one , worth a go :-)

Things will get better , maybe a slow process but you will get through this :-) x

Reply

Ina way I can see the funny side someone can hardly have all the things wrong with them like I think I do..

I’m just back from a walk this morning and trying to stay positive and banish the negative thoughts..

It’s a hard process but knowing I am not alone makes it that bit easier

Thank you x

Reply

Hello :-)

Yes it is quite impossible for us to have everything our anxiety want's us to believe :-)

Good for you getting out for a walk you have got further than me today :-)

All we can do is our best and no matter how good or maybe not so good you may do in anyone day trying to deal with this as long as you have done your best always feel proud of yourself :-)

For today tell yourself no matter what thought I may get I am going to cast it out and ignore it if just for today :-) x

Reply

Hi 😀

Iv tried my best today with 3 long walks and trying to keep busy I kept getting the funny feelings there so hard to explain?and such a tightness in my head and shooting pains..

Trying to ignore them and tell myself I felt the same the last couple of weeks I’ll be fine..

It’s very hard when the fear sets it it’s like it’s always on my mind and won’t stop!!and I know when I’m truly distracted because a few minutes later I think oh I haven’t thought about that ina while then is on my mind again..

Thank you for your support x

Reply

Hello :-)

The tightness in your head , I used to explain it like a rubber band around my head getting tight and the shooting pains , this is what I call a tension headache brought on my stress and anxiety

Our bodies will react in some way to anxiety and getting these kinds of headaches is typical of anxiety and of course the more we worry the worse the headache is

You have done really well though today , you should give yourself a great big pat on the back because despite anxiety niggling in the background you have carried on and that takes some doing but you did :-) x

Reply

Thanks for your support..

Day 2 of trying to pretend I feel noting..finding it very hard but trying to be strong..

Hope u are good thanks for your support x.

Reply

Hello :-)

Of course it is going to be hard as changing the way we think is never going to be easy especially when anxiety is so powerful but with practice it gets easier and time and you need to give yourself time , cannot rush this :-)

You are trying so I would say already no matter how the day goes that is a good day on your behalf because you are going to do your best no matter what that may be :-)

You are still here that proves something , you are stronger than what you think :-) x

Reply

Thanks for your support..

Day 2 of trying to pretend I feel noting..finding it very hard but trying to be strong..

Hope u are good thanks for your support x.

Reply

Even if you do feel something just tell yourself it will pass it is nothing serious it is anxiety :-) x

Reply

Trying so hard today I must go to a friends party and I’m terrified and nervous going there trying to stay calm and tell myself what I’m feeling is normal and to go away..it’s hard today x

Reply

Hello you will have better days and then the days where are not so good that is to be expected so don't get yourself flustered if today has not been as good that will feed the anxiety if you do accept maybe today has not been as good but still I am doing well :-)

Does your friend know about how you are ?

You could always tell her you are not so great if she does and if you need to leave early you hope she won't be offended

If she does not know then you are still in control , take some deep breaths and when you get there if you feel you are not coping then say you are going outside for some fresh air while you are outside do your breathing again to calm down and if that does not help and you really feel that you want to go home then just excuse yourself and say you have a headache and are going early because you feel sick with it

Having said all that once there you never know you might leave the anxiety at her front door and have a really good time :-) either way you have both covered so I really hope you do have a lovely time and well done going to the party :-)

Let us know how you get on :-) x

Reply

Thank you I will try my best thasts all I can do..my friend does not know I have only told mostly family and a few friends the basics but not the whole lot of it.

Thanks for your advice I will let u know how it goes..fingers crossed x

Reply

It will be ok honestly , ask yourself what is the worse that could happen ?

You come home early maybe ?

Fell proud of yourself for how you are pushing through all this :-) x

Reply

Thank you so far so good out for a breath of fresh air 😊x

1 like
Reply

:-) x

Reply

I got on ok last night better than expected!!!

Now to start another day trying to be strong x

Reply

Well done so you had quite a good time after all :-)

You will get through a day at a time

Try not to put pressure on yourself and deny your feelings you don't want to get in a battle having to try and stay strong , sometimes it can create more anxiety but try and accept the thoughts and feelings as they come and let them pass and when they pop in your head tell yourself no why me , why do I have to have some deadly disease , where is the proof that I have something wrong with me because other than your anxiety there is no proof anything is wrong your Doctors have given you a clear bill of health :-) x

Reply

Thank you so much that sounds like a better way to deal with it...trying to ignore them is hard I think it makes you think about it even more

You are a great help thank you so much x

Reply

Yes it does sometimes it is better to accept them as that way if we can accept something it does not feel as frightening as trying to fight it ( if this make sense )

Hope today has been as good as it could have been :-) x

Reply

Trying so hard today I must go to a friends party and I’m terrified and nervous going there trying to stay calm and tell myself what I’m feeling is normal and to go away..it’s hard today x

Reply

It may help to list what other things could be causing this effect we did this as an example in a CBT group setting. We had quite a list which I wish I could remember.

Symptom Heart is pounding in my chest I'm having a heart attack

Things that make your heart beat faster

Caffeine. running for the bus, seeing a spider, emergency braking and the my answer which she wouldn't write on the board - sex. LOL

Reply

Thank you I will try this today..I keep reminding myself every time I feel something that I felt the same thing for the last few weeks and I’m still here I’m still alive..

I will write my symptoms and most logical explanation for them not my imaginative explanation lol thanks

Reply

You may also like...