I'm worried people won't take me seriously

[tateearoo]

I've recently opened up to my mother about my feelings, I didn't say this directly to her but I've really been struggling with life as a whole at the moment and think it may be depression.

She booked me a doctors appointment, but I don't know how to explain what I feel. I thought I had depression years ago when I was in school but when I spoke to the nurse about it she said it was just ''hormones.'' I'm scared now that this is what my GP will say, the thing is I know it's not just hormones. I just want some support and help to stop me feeling like this, I want to enjoy my life but at the moment it's physically impossible. I feel like if I don't get the help I need I'm going to go deeper down this route and end up completely hopeless and be in this dark place for the rest of my life.

[Gambit62]

Sorry you had a bad experience with the nurse at school - and felt so dismissed. I presume this was when you were a teenager and it is certainly true that there are a lot of hormonal changes going on in your teens and that can make you very moody.

Even if the feeling down, hopeless etc is hormonal that doesn't mean that the doctor can't treat it. Have you kept a mood diary at all that you could take with you - something that shows how your mood varies in the month (presuming you are female - sorry if you aren't) - which can help tie it into a hormonal pattern if that is the underlying cause? If you have something then it would be a good idea to take it with you.

I would also recommend jotting down some bullet points and taking them with you - things that you are struggling with - are you bursting into tears a lot - do you get very stressed - anything and everything. If you can make sure your mother makes a double appointment that would also help as it gives the doctor more time to focus on you otherwise it may be very rushed and you may end up feeling dismissed again.

There are some on-line tests you can do - try the NHS sight and search for depression and/or anxiety and that should bring something up - do it and take the results of that with you - possible that the doctor may get you to do a test whilst there - just asks things like how you've felt in the last month etc.

Some doctors are better than others - don't give up if the one you have this time makes you feel dismissed - keep trying until you find one who does listen. Know that is going to be really difficult given how you are feeling but ...

The doctor may recommend a drug test in case there is anything else going on - have you put on weight or lost weight recently - do you feel worse in am or pm (pm tends to indicate another problem that is causing the low mood).

Will try and write more later but need to rush and do a few things now.

[tateearoo in reply to Gambit62]

Thank you for taking the time to reply, I haven't been keeping a mood diary per say - more of a general diary where I doodle and sometimes write notes in. But a mood diary is something I may try, and yes I am female! I do get very stressed, anxious etc. I shall take the NHS test too, but in terms of weight loss I've lost about a stone and I tend to feel at my worst when I first wake up... that's when I'm most sensitive and irritable although these are also knock on effects from bad nights sleep. Some days when I feel really bad I'm like that all day - hysterical crying, irrational behavior, irritability etc.

Thanks again, I'm very appreciative.

[Gambit62 in reply to tateearoo]

you could try going through your diary for the last month or so and see if you can ascribe a mood to each day - both in terms of crying and also in terms of anxiety - different ratings for each. The sleeping and the fact that things seem worse when you wake up are also things that you should note down to mention to the doctor.

Also, is the anxiety worse at particular times or is it related to specific activities - something else to note to mention.

[Gambit62]

For some people depression is something that happens once - for others it can be a recurring problem - think it partly depends on what the triggers are and also on your own susceptibilities and make up. I've had depression on and off for 30 odd years. People do develop coping mechanisms and things aren't always as meaningless as they obviously feel for you at the moment.

In the last year I have found mindfulness - being aware of my thoughts - really helpful - as it really has helped me to separate the thoughts I might be having from myself - and put the negative/meaningless thoughts in perspective and in the background.

One of the things about depression is that the links between motivation and action get switched around. Means that you have to do things before you actually feel like doing them - so building up routines can help - routines that involve getting some exercise can also be good.

Main thing though is probably not to beat yourself up at those times when life does feel meaningless and you don't want to go on because you feel so totally different from other people and can't understand why and feel inadequate as a result. There are lots of people on the depression fora on HealthUnlocked that are in exactly that place so it is good to post. You may find joining the 'Action on Depression' Community - in the green bar at the top click on communities and then 'find a community helpful as it is a bit more active than this forum.