I’m really struggling with my depression at the moment. I’m signed off work and trying to reach out for support from where ever I can get it. Mostly it’s just a waiting game though. Anyone have any tips on ways to pass the time/keep safe until support actually comes?
Also my evenings are very very hard, it’s when my mind wanders the most and my thoughts can become very dark.
Hi,
Everyone's here to listen to you. Just hang in there and the support will come. Have you considered private counselling to help you get the support quickly?
I was also in the same situation as you, signed off from work. I was already using private counselling and after i left work i still used it to a point. Sometimes you can't put a price on your health and wellbeing.
In the meantime while you are waiting keep your mind focused on other things. Go for a walk or fast sprint walk or a jog (these will help burn off stress and adrenaline in your body), have a wonder in your garden and see what needs doing and try and spend your time on that. I know that just simply doing these things are never easy, I mean I've been there, and know from experience but push yourself to take that 1st step. Hopefully these activities will help steer your mind away from the thoughts that are occupying your mind.
Hi thank you for taking the time to comment. I have had some psychotherapy but that’s just finished and to be honest I don’t know if it really helped as things just got darker and darker and they didn’t really help me see any type of light. I will give some of those things a try. The thing is. I find myself doing things in the day which keep me occupied and feeling ok. But then always the evening comes and it’s all a struggle again.
Hi,
Any type of therapy is designed to help you see your situation differently. It's more like retraining our minds to adjust and cope better with those moments. the best thing to do is write down what thoughts are lingering that you feel are making things darker and see if you can trace their roots back to the origin of the those feelings and why particularly in the evening. these are the things the therapists can help you with. I found myself CBT myself a lot to help me cope better with situations and it does help. some moments are challenging but keep at it and it does help.
sometimes the food we eat can make us irritable. i noticed i was ok for most of the week and one evening we all decided to have chippy takeaway and i felt really irritated and annoyed by my work situation afterwards.
Depression is caused by prolonged stress. stress is supposed to be short lived so we can react in the moment and then relax and calm down afterwards but let it prolong and it can cause depression. Pets who experience abuse also suffer from depression. its bit like a coiled spring that's calmly in place but one slight reaction and its unsprings. that's my take on it. the best thing is to burn of these stresses and possibly even adrenaline hence why i mentioned a good jog or sprint walk can help to burn it off and let your body feel relaxed.
Hope these things help you in some way but please keep talking
Thank you. I did lots of walking today and managed to be out all day. But now back home. I’m hoping it will pass soon. But at the moment everything feels like forever.
well done that's really good 
don't worry, it may feel like the clock is taking forever to tick over but keeping yourself busy will make the days flyby by using your time to try and keep your mind occupied on other things. Maybe a hobby or an interest you always wanted to pursue?
When i was going through what you were i used my gardening as a means to keep my mind busy learning lots of the new things about garden and soil ecology. I used it to balance negativity that was putting me off and managing expectations. It really helped to keep my focused and away from what I was going through at the time. Once I got a new job I found another distraction and never looked back.
Keep up with the walking, hope it makes you feel better. The body is an amazing creation but remember you are the enabler and the body will adjust. at the moment there maybe a rush of chemicals in your body because of what you are going through but you just need to make use of them so the body can try and reset itself back to normal.
Thank you. I definitely need to try and find a new hobby. I don’t have much interest to do anything nowadays. Although I did a bit of reading last night, I used to do a bit of jogging but haven’t for a long time, and the weight is now creeping up a lot. I also have so many chores that need to be done as well now, because I keep putting them off.
I’m waiting on a new job, but that’s not going to happen till at least the beginning of September.
Hi,
The best way to go about any day of the week is to plan what to do in terms of your chores, jogging, walking etc. Give yourself that time to pursue your interests also to help mix the day up and help you reflect on your own mental health with the view to help you find some understanding on it or find some closure too (that's if you want to). At the same time know how much you can do so you don't mentally exhaust or strain yourself. the more you do the more your mind will focus on these new excited plans you will make and do. bare in mind its perfectly natural if you ponder on issues that have affected your mental health. Our mind works in a very complex way, it processes past images, memories, sounds, smells. I sometimes do still ponder on those moments where i snow dived, sometimes they upset me and we do these because we don't want these moment to repeat and if they do how will we react differently or handle those situations differently. this is all part of CBT.
That's how i managed my time day to day when i ended up leaving my previous job. as an example, when i did gardening i didn't de-weed the whole area, I broke it up into sections and then had a rest. some days i didn't feel like it, sat in and some days i forced myself out into the garden. one day i just decided to de-weed the whole lot in one day and felt very physically satisfied and happy it was done because it meant i could progress start seeding and planting things. other hobbies were woodworking, again physical exercise using hand tools, baking was another. these activities also helped me to learn handling negativity or disappointments by reflecting on each day and still do today, if someone annoyed me, office politics, or how bad or good i did at work or home and see how i could do it better or how i could adjust my reaction so that next time i'm able to manage the situation better and we need these moments to reflect to cherish the positives and better ourselves for next time.
Hope this helps
Thank you. I will try and sit down today and write myself a little plan for the week, trying to set small goals to do each day and go from there. Our minds really do work in a strange way, like focusing all on the bad and forgetting what the good feels like.
I got a mental health assessment Wednesday afternoon which I’m a little nervous about, and then Thursday back to the doctors.
There is just so much in my little head right now, I just wish it would switch off.
Honestly thank you so much for all your feedback, what you reply always makes complete sense I just need to follow it and try harder.
no problem, we're all here to help each other.
all the thoughts you have in your mind put them on paper in a form of a mind map, and if you can work backwards and find the root cause of those thoughts. Once you establish their origins then you can talk to a therapist what you have found, talk about them and find a way to put them to rest so you can move on.
Best of luck
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