it just hurts

[CarnelianAmber]

It is so difficult when, being triggered, I say or do something that I would never say or do if not triggered. Then, apologizing and hoping for understanding and/or forgiveness when I am met with harshness, perhaps rightfully so, I feel so defeated. That is where I am tonight. I didn’t ask for my experiences or my triggers. True, my response was not okay or acceptable. But Damn, this can be so hard.