Post Covid

[Cardium]

Hello! I am 25 years old and a doctor. I got Covid 5 months ago and I believe Im suffering from PTSD ever since. I have developed health anxiety and there are so many days I feel like I am going to die. Im scared and frustrated and feel hopeless. My profession has me being around seriously ill people, and having health anxiety makes you feel you have some serious disease too and one day it's going to be diagnosed and it will be too late then. I dont want to spend the rest of my life living with this fear 😔 can someone help me control my thoughts?

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi Cardium,

Welcome to the community and thank you for sharing your situation.

Firstly, you are not alone...I know it's not a great consolation as it means there are others who are suffering. But through sharing and feeling heard, it may be less to carry around on your own.

Being in the environment that brings back the feelings and memories of trauma is not good and I am really sorry that you are facing this situation. Is there any possibility to get some leave and perhaps an access to therapy? I know waiting times are very long but I would like to hope that doctors and nurses, medical staff would have a quicker access to help through this pandemic.

My personal experience of trauma is that it wasn't as much my thoughts but body memories and sensitized nervous system (amygdala and the stress hormones that put us in the survival mode which lasts too long) that was the issue.

I tried traditional psychotherapy and controlling my thoughts, being busy all the time to avoid thinking and it only helped a little bit. When PTSD really hit, this stopped working because trauma for me was happening on much deeper, subconscious level.

Each person experiences trauma differently and has different symptoms. Reading up on the subject can bring some relief as you get a better understanding of what's happening but it can also be triggering.

However, I found it very useful to understand how it works because it explained why trying to control my thoughts wasn't working.

Having trauma therapy really helped me. I went for somatic experiencing but I have heard that EMDR is very effective as well.

Connecting with others has been a huge help for me as I tend to isolate while going through intensive things.

[Cardium in reply to Nathalie99]

Body memories and sensitized nervous system....yes yes that's what I have too. I did take a leave for 3 months and went home to my family. While that did improve my mindset; I kinda hoped that I would be back to myself. But I'm back to work now, and I really am not. Im scared that I will never be the person I used to be before all this. I haven't tried therapy yet, because I want to try and help myself first, and also because my family doesn't approve of mental health therapy and it's a task to explain these issues to them.....but if things aren't better, I plan on doing it soon. Thank you for the kind words and advice dear ❤

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Cardium]

I am very sorry about your family not approving of mental health therapy. That really makes things much more difficult.

It is very scary, especially losing our own identity after trauma. I was told that this change is a part of the process and as survivors, we can redefine ourselves during recovery and in post traumatic growth.

You are welcome...

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer]

Hi cardium and welcome to the community. I am having emdr therapy for ptsd and although I thought it was a bit argy Bargy in the beginning I have to say it is helping me. I’d encourage you to explore how it works and if you think it might be useful to you then finding a trained therapist in emdr might be useful.

I’m sorry you contracted covid and can understand how that might have triggered your current symptoms.

Daily being amongst unwell people will most likely be triggering the health anxiety.

Above all I want you to know you are not alone.