Going back

[JanaBog]

This weekend I am going back to the place where my trauma event happened. I’ve been away for a little over two months, and even though I spent the first month after the event there, I just worry it might be hard to go back.

I’m also a little excited about it, I am really close friends with my flatmate, and he’s always there for me, good times or bad. And he’s a really calm and happy person, so I know it will do me good to be around someone like that.

But, I worry. What it will be like to be there? I know I’ll be safe because the aggressor is still in prison, but I still wonder how I’ll sleep at night. Any advice on what I can expect and ideas for coping mechanisms is really welcome...

Edit: After going back I see that not too many things trigger anxiety, but I do think about some of the good times with the aggressor (who is my ex). I feel mostly sadness. And all the travelling left me exhausted so I feel like I’m unable to do anything. All I can hope is that with time I’ll become stronger.

[SavingGrace Administrator]

Sending love and support to you - it sounds like a brave and courageous decision you are undertaking - so I salute you on that. Although I have no advice to give, I know that others shall. So I leave with just blessings to you, JanaBog,

[JanaBog in reply to SavingGrace]

Thank you, your support means a lot to me ❤️

[Marnie22 Volunteer]

I don't have any advice, I just want to send my support. I hope all goes well for you. 🌸

[JanaBog in reply to Marnie22]

Thank you ❤️

[Hidden]

What a brave and scary thing you are doing. I wish I had an answer that would make it easier. I am glad you have a supportive roommate. You are amazing for taking your life back. The road might be hard but it sounds like you have people who are for you. This group here is supportive as well.

Take care.

[JanaBog in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I agree, the community here is very supportive. I’m on my way there now, but I’m thinking about it like an adventure, like I’m going forward with my life

[pam4him]

What a brave act! First, try not to dwell on it how you "might" feel. Take it slow, maybe work with the flatmate to rearrange some of the furniture so it will be different. Keep reminding yourself you are safe, even if it means writing yourself post it notes and putting them where you'll see them often. Try journaling any strong feelings to help get them out of your head. Breathe through any anxiety or panic feelings - in through the nose for a slow count of 5, hold for 5, and out the mouth slowly for 5. Counseling may help through the adjustment. Most of all, be patient with yourself. Prayers for peace and strength.

[JanaBog in reply to pam4him]

Thank you for your reply. By the time I got a chance to answer, I’ve already made the trip. Those are some really helpful suggestions, and I already arranged some of the furniture before I left, so there isn’t too much to do. Thank you again for your kindness