Oh dear

[SavingGrace]

Oh dear. I called my dad on an issue that has plagued me, my grandma and brother and family now for years. I took a chance to speak up (a special of mine) in order to find out the REAL truth. He rejected me, my mother distanced herself and so I resorted to telling my brother of my actions due to my fears. I hate it when family lock down and don’t rally to support. I have ALWAYS been the ‘black sheep’ in the family in this way. Always trying to seek out and find answers for the common good of the family future, yet always being pushed back down and made to feel as if I must hide I’m really fed up and tired of this. What is the alternative? Pretending? Pretend that life is ok and sweet!!?? Keep quiet and carry on, right!?

[Shy_Guy]

This is the tough one. Families are like one big child’s mobile toy. If you pull one part the whole thing gets to bouncing around and everyone starts running around to steady the uncontrollable.

I always was the one that wanted to pull on the mobile to talk about the truth and each time I was seen as the instigator. I was just saying my truth but the family did not want to see the truth. More like they had a different truth that they all believed so I was the one that could not see the truth. It was like a group hypnotism that they convinced themselves what they saw was the truth.

I gave up with great resentment. It is sad really. My mom died believing her falsehoods. It took many years for the mobile getting so screwed up that the truth was too hard to hide from. I had very little to do with it. Very frustrating

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer]

Yeah it’s a hard one with family. I have stopped calling my daughters out on anything really. What I will say is when you.....I felt..... no one can deny my feelings and I am owning them and teaching them it’s ok to own your feelings.

My daughters are all old enough to make their own way in life but I’m still connected to them in a loving way. I do not like some of the choices of my youngest daughter makes but I respect her right to make them.

Letting go of my expectations of them has freed them to be their own beings. I also won’t rescue them if choices they make mean some consequence for them, their choice their consequence.

It’s taken me a number of years to get to this place but when my youngest estranged from me I took stock of things fast. She is no longer estranged and when she came back into relationship with me it was a very different relationship she came back into.

Family are such work at times aren’t they.