Need advice CPTSD

I’m 31 and have been dealing with CPTSD. I’ve recently been diagnosed. I have shared this with my family and boyfriend. No one seems to understand me. I have emotionally withdrawals, usually I run away from the situations of expressing feelings and emotions. I am putting a lot more stress on myself and my partner. By me explaining my feelings and emotions, I come off as hurting or not caring, less intimate. I have been to CBT but did not find it helpful. Does anyone have any suggestions or therapy recommendations?

[Equis-Canine Volunteer]

Hi, I'm sorry that you are dealing with cptsd. It is hard. I have the same diagnosis. Good for you for sharing your diagnosis and feelings. That shows a lot of strength. I've found that even caring people close to me have difficulty understanding cptsd. That is why this forum is so helpful because we know what it feels like.

My suggestions..... Be patient and kind to yourself. Healing is a slow process with ups and downs along the way. I found CBT therapy to be very helpful when I finally found the right therapist. ( after several attempts). I've tried other things through the years and I believe that each piece has helped a bit. Hugs

[Agara33]

Hi Hawkeye-very nice name. I also have cptsd and am a couple years older than you. Cptsd is a true hell that people fight for their lives to get out of—it can be very cutting when those around us don’t get it, also since it’s understandably hard to get so we end up even more alone with the pain. Judith Louis Herman wrote the book trauma and recovery—she coined the term complex ptsd and maybe you could offer it to your family so they would get the scope. I suffered for years with no real progress until I found nlp. It goes to the source of a feeling or behavior in the subconscious and kind of rewires it-it’s similar to hypno therapy with a good therapist really works quickly and efficiently for many people. I also recently heard about mdma therapy which can be really life changing. Reaching out to others like you is a really good move, I’m so sorry you have to go through this

[aujoymyjoy]

i have found that explaining your situation to people, particularly family, does not always go well. Why? They base who you are on their interactions with you in the past.

They aren’t interested in your problems. Yes, that is blunt, yet often true.

They have never been the nurturing caring type, so me hoping that it is different now is insane, meaning...... I am nuts in thinking that their pattern of relating to me is going to change because I NEED them to help me. Look at your history with them. Be honest with yourself.

If they are interested in understanding and helping you, give them things to read about CPTSD.

I know, this is not good news, but it is the truth. It is important to find a base of support where you can be honest and heard. You are not nuts. You are wounded. We are too.

Talk to us here. This is a place to find connection even though it is an internet community and not real life in person. You are not alone.

Aujoy🍀

[Hidden]

My family just was happy to say crazy and think they have a right to say anything to me for what I go through. It’s stupid. Hurtful. Be mindful of who you talk to and try to talk about them in kindness not just about you. Ask therapist how to talk to people in a conversation to remind it’s not just about your condition and I agree you need more than just one type of therapy usually. I personally find mantras helpful specific about kindness about my thoughts belong in my head others belong in theirs their thoughts don’t mean more than opinions. What I can do in a situation and things will get better. I keep a diary like even 3 lines about what I did good today I don’t include negative. Concentrate on good.

I saw a show where they said if you constantly sit in the chaos it will constantly find you. So choose your length of tolerance in settings and have back up plans. Try movement and exercise and tools to remove the pain hypnosis emdr... try & see what works no magic bullet it’s a tool box .. time and wanting recognition of slips

[MattUK]

My partner has CPTSD and while I’m no expert, EDMR therapy has certainly helped in some areas.

[Dolphin14 Moderator in reply to MattUK]

Emdr was very helpful for me. I am now doing IFS and continued talk therapy.

[MattUK]

It’s hard for people living with someone with it especially if they don’t understand.. I’m still learning what works for us, and I feel for you and understand some of it as I see it in my partner .. I will say it does get a little easier as you learn that it’s not personal, that’s the key for others they take it personally aimed at them, at least I do still sometimes .. I have to tell myself

[Shy_Guy]

CPTSD is difficult. I suffer from this from childhood repeated trauma. The symptoms come and go for me. I think it really helped me to find a therapist that specializes in PTSD. No a days it is not difficult to find. More and more therapists are realizing that people that suffer from PTSD need to be handled differently than just plan talk therapy. I found a guy that helps me, but I have to do the work and he can only help. I am responsible for my healing.

[Sunnidayz1]

Hi! I understand how you feel. I was able to be cured by parts therapy. Look up parts therapy psychology. It's a specialized type of therapy and it's expensive but it is extremey helpful to rid oneself of the emotions and feelings from CPTSD/PTSD, anxiety, depression, panic the list goes on and on.

Good luck on your journey towards better mental health. The help and cure is out there, u just need the time and energy to do the work. This is not a life sentence remember that.

You are not alone.

XxSunni

[designguy]

A good book that I found very helpful is Complex PTSD from surviving to thriving by Pete Walker. Another is the Complex PTSD Workbook by Arielle Schwartz.

I have found that working with a therapist who utilizes EMDR Therapy in their treatment has been very beneficial and has enabled my recovery. It is definitely possible to recover and have a life.

[qsnoodle]

Hi there... its really rough this Cptsd. Ive been really committed to my therapy so I can maybe offer what Ive found that's been really helpful. I encourage you to keep trying...until one of these works for you.

I still have trouble with getting things started and dissociate alot of times during stressful meetings but if I may make some suggestions this is what made a difference for me.

I found a therapist with a Ph.D. and understood trauma in general and experienced it personally and is intelligent. She shared with me that while she was getting her PHD , she was one of the only and few students who were experiencing dissociation and cptsd symptoms in her program and other cptsd stuff which she terms trauma. I liked that she has been able to manage and handle her trauma.

she has helped me A LOT.

I then found another therapist who was a Harvard mba and in the Army and then turned to studying as a monk, he understood anxiety etc and what I liked about him is I looked up to him, for one, but mostly he has provided loving kindness. TRUE nurturing energy and a perspective I look up to.

Its been 2 years and I think Ive gotten 60% better. though I'm STILL not pursuing the harder of my goals, yet my day to day is better. I still can be reactive, like when I had to probate my Fathers estate and dive into HIS craziness - I did not manage my emotional flashbacks when remembering to do so would have helped. - this is where my therapists have helped- especially the Trauma therapist.

Here is what I did on my own thats been REALLY beneficial - His name is Richard Grannon. He is online. If I can suggest ANYTHING at all, go to his site spartanlifecoach.com and get his "Heal SuperEgo". Also he has a free PDF for emotinal flashbacks. He always talks about managing the emotional flashbacks before ANYTHING else.

Also I did EMDR a little - but only worked with the right therapist. I cant afford the one who I know can really move me forward.

Id start with Richard Grannon. Manage your flashbacks, become emotionally literate, ( which is reasonably priced).

Pete Walker CPTSD book - From surviving to thriving. This was eye opening! Its a good partner to all the above.

I forgot to mention that I took breaks from it. Id get mad at the fact I had all this going on. But I just pick up where I left off and kept moving.

Thats the best advice I can give. Just sharing - not perscriptive.

And yes, be ever so kind to yourself. The inner/outer critic needs love. Take it all slow. One day at a time. Breathe alot, deep breathes. I also remind myself to move more slowly.

XO

sorry for the typos.

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer]

I also have ptsd. The only therapy that has worked for me is EMDR therapy. We’re all different and what works for me may not work for someone else. I have gotten a lot of my understanding from reading the book; the body keeps the score.

It does not have to be a lonely journey you are on if you connect with others with similar diagnosis. I do that here at this forum and in other places like a face to face support group.

[Darren_Gregory]

Hawkeye: I get it. First of all-you're safe here. We're peers with you. We've all been exactly where you are. Diagnosis and First Round at a treatment attempt.

You're confused. Family and friends won't know what to do. It's most helpful according to other peers for those closest to us to work with us, so all are on the same page of understanding.

CPTSD takes the right therapist that's in your court because you allowed the helper in. The helper agreed to earn your trust. The more specialized in treating CPTSD specifically, it's said that then the better help to us such a therapist will be.

There are a ton of treatments that those specializing use to help us today. Right now, safety and security is important. I'm pleased you're here, reaching out rightly to your peers who've been there too.

I'm not sure of protocol for sharing information on this board. If it's okay to share links, I'm happy to point you towards those treatments I've experienced and found helpful.

If that would be helpful, and if anyone else could fill me back in on our rules for sharing stuff, please, let me know.

I know it feels like you're not right now, and I feel that with you-I get it:

But you're on the path. Being on the path to working through some recovery-on your terms: That right fit will show up to help you through next steps, I suspect.

Be Well. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

If the links would help, I'm happy to share them your way.