Need a bit of help

Hate to feel or be needy, but need a bit of support.  

Not one of many words, but I am beginning to feel pretty deeply.   That's all I got.

[Hidden]

Hi MyMaras,

Glad you can come here for support. I hear you on feeling deeply. A friend of mine has a favorite saying "feeling is healing." For me, that has meant that when the abuse was happening, I dissociated and numbed out and didn't feel a whole lot. I was carrying those feelings around inside me for a lot of years. As I have released those feelings, I have felt lighter and more able to function.

The other side of that was when a therapist once told me "it's going to feel shitty for a while." That too was so true - it really wasn't a lot of fun to release all those pent up emotions. But I'm glad I did it.

Stick with it! You're going in the right direction.

Dan

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks.  It is so hard.  And shame is such a competitor.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You're very welcome. It's a tough road, for sure, and yes, shame lurks.

It's such a demanding thing that rest is a key. Here's an article I wrote about it:

healthyplace.com/blogs/trau...

Here are some thoughts I posted about dealing with shame:

healthunlocked.com/healmypt...

[Equis-Canine Volunteer]

My good thoughts are with you today. Know your feelings will change. Our feelings are always changing. Wait and be observant for that moment when you feel even a tiny bit better. Then embrace it.  

Some time ago, I spent a lot of time on the couch mostly disconnected. At some point I started to be aware of waiting... to feel better.  Eventually just a spark of that feeling would pass through me.  I would hungrily grab at it, stand up and do something, anything.  Slowly the sparks became more frequent and I did a little more.  I wish compassion for yourself.

[Hidden in reply to Equis-Canine]

Thank you.

[Hidden]

MyMaras,

I am very impressed that you asked for support. I could not do that for many years and it is still difficult to ask for support now. Good for you. I am glad you are here and keep posting your thoughts and feelings. There are a lot of very good people here and you are not alone.

[Hidden]

Right.  It is no fun to be "needy".

Not my style.

So hard.

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer]

I used to think being needy meant I w weak and weak people are targets for abusers of any kind.  This was in my mind.  I told my therapist of all the things I hate most in myself it is when I feel needy.  She told me that because my needs were not met as a child I never really learned that everyone has needs.  She encouraged me to let her know when I was feeling needy.  Sounds an easy thing to do but for me it was nigh on impossible.  When we worked this through it was because I thought if I was needy with her or my doctor they would get rid of me fast and I was so afraid of being abandoned by anyone and most of all by them.  I was able to talk about this with them both and they have both said this has links to my history.

[Hidden]

Thank you.