Always thinking the worst and Disassociation

Hello everyone. I was wondering If anyone else experience this. Finances have been extremely hard for me lately. It's been exactly 64 days since my SSD hearing and I haven't heard a word. I've been having to rely on others to help me out with finances. Up until recently I've been pretty self sufficient. This has been the hardest thing for me to accept but I'm working on it. Anyway, I have been having the hardest time with thinking the worst. For example, my car battery has died and I don't have money to replace it. My son's father offered to send extra money to help with the lights and buy my son clothes. I told him that I may have to use some of the money to buy a new battery. He agreed to wire me the money, that was two days ago. I've been trying to tell my self that I have no reason to feel angry with him and I don't but my mind been thinking he's lying about sending the money, etc. I had a talk with a close friend yesterday and I mentioned the battery situation and now I feel mad with him too, because he didn't offer to help even though I didn't ask him directly? These feelings are so confusing and draining for me yet I can't seem to stop myself from doing it. Today I was so stressed that I started disassociating without realizing it. I don't feel present, my brain feels really fogging and distant. I'm been trying to pull myself out of this all day but no luck, I just found myself cursed up in a ball crying my eyes out. I moved to a new town a few months ago because they were offering Section 8 vouchers. My son and I desperately needed housing so ok. But it's been extremely difficult when problems arise to call on someone to help, I feel so alone. Tell me I'm not the only one that has experienced this? Please tell me I'm not loosing my mind!

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  • I hear what you are you upset about and it's your birthright to ask for any help that is certainly a necessity like replacing your battery. It's OK to follow up with the person you asked to help. There is no shame in asking for help.

    Bless,

    Jamie

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