Hello everyone - Jules here.
I am a bit confused - my email says (I think) that someone is selling loans to people like me ? Have i got it wrong ?
If its true i really hope those pop up things and adverts arnt going to start on the forum - is it possible thats coming ?
worried (most likely got the wrong end on stick ) Jules
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Hi Jules, It wasn't an pop up advert. Someone had replied to a post offering loans to people who needed money. It was someone who had a user name, so presumably they had registered on the site. I am told they have now been removed.
One thing I have noticed on this site and on another I visit is that there seem to be professional people leaving input - I don't know how everyone feels about this? I am not sure I agree that it is a good thing, but what do you think?
Hope you are well Jules, lovely day here, hope it lasts.
Jan
Hello Jan and everyone in the discussion re selling things.
So pleased its gone Jan. From that it means the site doesnt allow it, and i am pleased.
I have learnt to trust people here enough to open, more than i do with my doctors. I was dismayed to think people were allowed on here to try and sell things to me. They wont change it will they ? I dont know, maybe others have a different view - ?
Oh Jan I have had a really bad night so far - my husband was going out with some mates (and someone who i knew before the crash) to see a band.
They 'called in' into our house on the way to see the band. There was 3 of them plus my husband and i made 5. Too many for me, i told my husband i wasnt going prior.
They landed at the house, and naturally (its Friday night!) they had all been drinking and were very merry. I am low today so not best of days for it. I dont drink, didnt feel merry and didnt want to be forced into 'socializing'. I hated it.
I did my best to stay in the same room, but i tried twice to chip in on the conversation. You know the embarrassing thing when you chip in but the conversation has moved on - the second time i said something incredibly stupid.
I went and started potting some plants in my office. Eventually they left to see the band. I just sat with the dog and felt completely lost for a while. Completely lost in life.
Anyway - sitting in my new office now talking to you and the other lovely people here. To say, they are going to call back later and get taxis home from here. I really really dont want to see them. They will be even merrier and i cant join in. I wonder if my husband is disappointed in me. My friend who i knew before the crash who was here is lovely, shes so lovely and happy and bubbly and pretty.
I thought i was getting better, i dont think i am. tonight just proved that to me.
I am sorry, i will be better tomorrow. Feeling sorry for myself.
Jules
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Hi Jules,
There are those times when nothing truly terrible happens but you end up feeling disproportionately bad. Sounds like tonight was like that for you. The interactions were not aligned. Them, tipsy and in "fun time" talking mode, and you straining to be a good sport and participate despite really not being in the mood for it. The key thing is not to go from that situation to drawing big conclusions or even raising big questions ("Is my husband disappointed in me? Am I not getting better?). It was just a strained interaction that was not strained because of you. Believe me I am writing this from personal experience: "I didn't say that right. I am such an idiot. I never change the way I handle those situations even though I see them coming. etc., etc..
Please wipe the slate clean. You are not lost in life. You are connected to us, to your dog, to the things that you enjoy, to beauty, and to your own noble story. Have a wonderful day today!!
Jules- I totally relate to feeling awkward in situations and have pretty much retreated to being solitary as much as possible!
I like what you said TalaV, so true 
I reported the post and it was removed.
Gosh nowhere is safe! Ha, glad you all know how to report these things and get them dealt with
Hi Jules, I think (bi or not) there is nothing worse than being with people who are merry and silly because they have been drinking when you are completely sober. I am sure your husband isn't disappointed in you, he knows what you can and cannot manage. It was insensitive of him to bring them there before the club, worse still to bring them back when they were even more drunk. Have a quiet talk with him when you are in a happy mood together and explain (again) that these sort of situations are so hard for you. See if you can find some sort of compromise - maybe they could meet somewhere else and just pop in to say hello to you on the way out? I am sure they like to see you and they probably don't see it as a problem. I don't suppose they understand for one minute how difficult these things are for you, they just thought it was nice to include you in a bit of the evening.
Have a better day today.
Jan
Yes I agree, you notice things more than other people will. I am the same! I think I was better company and had more fun when I didn't worry but now every day seems a bit of a struggle. Probably a bit intense, but on the plus side, being more aware will bring strength.
The moderators deserve a pat on the back for their good work on keeping the forum safe and secure. This is must be the first message of this type I have seen in about 5 years.
I can guess we can give them this one
How to end a conversation
