How to end a conversation

[paxo05]

Tried posting this all day yestetday without success. Hopefully it will post this time....if not you will never know anyway.

Bumped into an old school friend a few days ago or so. Got talking about old times and general life. He then turned and gave me a strange look " god you have changed a lot " he stated "what went wrong with you".

I was a little shocked at this , and I know I didnt handle it well.

" the old me died " I said rather snappily.

"Oh " he replied then added he had to go.

Did he think I was going mad or was already crazy. I suppose I' ll never know.

Still its a good conversation stopper I suppose.

I didnt mean to react thst way but it sort of caught me out a little how he just dropped the question do casually.

Must try harder in future.

All the best Pax

[BaronC]

With friends like that, who needs...

We've all changed, us brain trauma-ed more than most.

Who cares? Not I. The cards have been dealt and it's now how you play them that counts more than anything else. I'm not sure I'd ever make a comment like that, directed at anyone at all.

Move on....

[paxo05 in reply to BaronC]

Oh I have moved on infact it was great to realise how much I have moved on and accepted the changes.

Think it was just a shock at the time. On the plus side I will probably never have to speak to them again. Also I didnt hit them......trust me this IS a big step forward for me as when I got angry I had started to lash out. Have now had most rooms replastered and new doors fitted thanks to my anger issues.

Think my wife may have planned this to get the house redecorated before I got control of my anger mmmmm it could be just coincidense I suppose.

Pax

[lisa85]

Well I've been there and done this and when OLD friends have said things similar to me I have replied with, " oh I'm sorry I've changed but if you stayed apart of my life you know why" or I'd say "I'm sorry but do I know you?"

And that leaves them very confused then how to reply.

Lisa85 x

[paxo05 in reply to lisa85]

Damn never thought of saying those things.

Thanks for advice Lisa

Pax x

[lisa85 in reply to paxo05]

Your very welcome paxo xxx

[razyheath43]

yup i agree move on! still the post did sound very postaive,so keep going xx

[cat3]

I'm sure there are many others, like me, whose word-recall is a nightmare. So we can only use the words we have available at times such as these, and those are often inadequate.

Personally, I wish that when I'd had such encounters I'd have come up with such a gem as you did.....................it's the truth after all.

So it's 10/10 from me Pax !! xxx

[angelite]

Well, Pax,

The way I see it, he verbally slapped you in the face and you verbally slapped him right back ! Touche, or in Lancashire parlance : Fair do's ! : ) x

[paxo05 in reply to angelite]

Thanks Angelite.

I think it was just the sudden shock of how much I have changed that hit me.

Its no new revelation but something I thought I gad got used to.

Thinking back I probably could have explained why I had changed. Am I getting fed up of explaining? Maybe that was it.

Anyway it certainly ended our little chat. I am so glad I only gave a verbal attack back so I suppose that is progress.

Thanks again Pax x

[Negeen]

people can be inconsiderate when they don't understand things. Don't let it bother you too much.

[aqua4]

Hi Paxo.

I'm with you on this one. Still searching for a way. K

[Nutkin33]

You did nothing wrong!

If he couldn't accept your change through you BI, then you're better not to be talking with him.

Good luck with future conversations!

[Sem2011]

Touché I say Pax. Well done for response. I am not quite that quick witter 😄.

people never cease to surprise me with their comments!

They say there is more than one way to skin a cat and I am sure your remark unnerved him more than a punch on the nose.

[malalatete]

Oh people can be so rude! If you saw some one you used to know and they were minus an arm or a leg, you wouldn't say 'My you look different!' to them. I think whilst it might have brought the conversation to an abrupt halt, it may well have been because he was embarrassed to have been so rude and tactless. And you answered him honestly, at least, so no shame in that, Pax.

of course, he may have thought you meant you had been 'born again' in another sense entirely and was running off before you got your Bible out. Now that does happen to me all the time.... 😀

[paxo05 in reply to malalatete]

Hi maladate

Never thought of the born again aspect. Could have been why he couldnt get away quick enough.

if I am honest my reply also shocked me a little. Not enough for me to really care.

I decided long ago that I would not be botheted by others reactions....to busy coping with my own.

It does highlight the ignorance connected with bi. I admit I look pretty healthy ( a little heavier and even a little shorter) with very little visible scaring.

Maybe next time I will not be as abrupt......but then again I probably will.

Pax

[Bright2018]

Brain Injury has changed me, certainly my friends thought so when I went back to North Devon on the train from Saint Albans. Well, it has changed my for the better I can say now, I am more thoughtful, more compassionate, more caring. Yes, I am a bit less impulsive and a bit more time is needed for me to made decisions. I try to reach as consensus with the friends and family. There are only four adults allowed on the family railcard so some people will have to pay the full price for their tickets. Everyone needs to be reasonable and try not to get upset about what happened to me in 1983.

We were out there in The Falkland Islands fighting the evil dictator General Galtieri and I was following this at home (I was 13 years old at the time). Looking back now it is that support for the Royal Navy that gave me my purpose in life which enabled me to cope with my TBI. As a TBI survivor I am only able to think in the long term. Short term things need family and friends to cope with. I just focus on our long term UK survival.

We all want the UK to be OK! again since TBI survivors really depend on BUS Services and Train services so we can independently move about. We do not need any other help than a Decent Democratic Royalist government that spends money on Public Bus Services and Our NHS so we can all get on with life again.

Yes I have changed, I am political now, I want justice for all TBI survivors and that means we want our buses back. This Brexit thing ought to mean BRexit so we can all have a British Rail exit and go on family holidays again. Car drivers cause thousands of Traumatic Brain Injuries every year in the UK so do your bit to Save Our NHS and sell your car, that is how I cope with my TBI. I am honest about it.

Jeremy Corbyn is asking the right questions. Now, Where is the bus?