Whats good for the queen

Dont worry I am not getting ideas above my station it is just that I have noticed people celebrating the anniversary of tbeir bi. Tbis got me thinking as my birthday is in a couple of days followed very swiftly by the anniversary of my bi.

I then began wondering which is the major celebration as each has pros and cons.

My birthday celebrates still being alive and reaching whatever age, but I am no longer that person anymore and have accepted this.

Celebrating my bi or accident is celebrating surviving and the sort of birth of this new me. Sadly this also is a reminder of the " death" of the old me and aceepting the new me is a world away from not longing for the old me to return.

In the end I think I will be like the queen and have two birthdays. This is not an attempt to be royal ( or a big queen ) , but simply to recognise both dates are important in my life. If anybody can shed light on which is most important I am all ears and would welcome any imput.

Oh and if anyone read my "appology " post well I did the lawn and hoovered tbe car yesterday but paid for it today so opted for the local hand car wash so if it rains today you can blame them .

11 Replies

  • I always celebrate my anniversary - I normally take the day off work, although this year it'll be on a Monday, my day off anyway (I dropped to 3 days part-time when the nursery costs for my two daughters cost more than I earnt. I have gone back to 4 days, now they are at school, but I refuse to give up my Mondays - it is an important 'me' day!). I will go through to the hospital (well, rehab centre) where I 'woke up' - I mean, I came back to being myself. I had been awake in the previous hospital, but I have no memory at all of being there, or of the first few months in the rehab centre. Still, I consider it as where I woke up - I was there for a good few months, I know all the staff, etc. etc.

    I think that anniversary is worth celebrating. Yes, we have lost the old us (in my case, decent balance, decent eyesight, a decent voice, several years of memories, such as moving house, having a second child...), but hey, *we* *are* *alive*! Definite cause for celebration!

    I have lost of celebrations in the autumn: my wedding anniversary; a month later, my birthday; a week later, my ten-year-old's birthday (she was 8 months old at the time of my accident. When I 'woke up', I asked why my husband kept bringing this lovely little girl into the hospital. Who was her mother? "Pam, she's *ours*!"); then, on Bonfire Night, I have another anniversary: in 1989, at a bonfire party, I got off with a long-haired hippy (who is now a wonderful dad!).

  • happy both days to you both,celabrate what you like!

  • Thanks for the response. I dont know haw I will celebrate my "second" birhday as I usually find it a depressing day. Even if I am not aware of the date I usually end up feeling down and not understanding why.

    I think reading that others celebrate their bi day got me wondering as my actual birthday aproaches that maybe this year I should celebrate my bi. I am hoping this will turn it into a positive day and not kick start a depression.

    I have planned a belated birthday break which is just after my bi day so hopefully this year will be different.

    I think after 16 years it would be nice to not take a sudden step backwards on the anniversay of my bi.

    I think I have hit another plateau stage of recovering. I have forgotten how many times I have supposedly reached "as good as it gets" levels only to improve a little more. This is making me reflect more I think. Either that or I am just getting old.....naahhhh couldn't be that could it.

    Either way I should know how I cope in the next few weeks.

  • Paxo I think you should celebrate what and how you want to...if two birthdays does it for you then go for it :)

    I don't see the day that changed my life forever as being something I want to celebrate and so I have never celebrated my Bonkaversary day... but I do take time to "acknowledge" the day quietly and to/with myself

    A few times I have not realised the day and like you have felt strangely out of sorts...then the date dawns on me and I get it... and "tip my hat" to it and then move on.

    Let us know if you decide you will celebrate your BI day too ...If you decide to celebrate this year, I will eat cake in honour of it ;)

  • I never celebrate the anniversary of my accident, to be honest most of the time I barely even remember the date. The more I used to focus on what happened all those years ago the more it held me back.

    Nowadays the anniversary (just like my birthday) is just another day that ticks by like all the others.

    I'm so old :)


  • I worked mine which was probably for the best, stopped too much naval gazing!

  • I 'celebrated' the 2nd anniversary of my TBI by completing a 95 mile three day challenge walk, in June 2010! I became rather obsessive about raising sponsors, and training, so I no longer 'celebrate' my 'TBI day' every year in such a fashion. I have subsequently become obsessive about physical challenges. I am fortunate I am able to undertake physical challenges, and fortunate to have been supported by family, former colleagues and friends. These have been round about the same time of year as my BI 'birthday/anniversary', but this is a coincidence. My Wife certainly doesn't see it as any date to celebrate, though she does see it as a time to be thankful that I actually lived, and have made a good recovery. I think that my 'miracle' recovery, was benefited by a determined personality, and how TBI increased that stubbornness!

    I actually didn't remember my 6th anniversary last year till a couple of days later! I was busy at work. So it has become far less significant, but it is still rare for a week to go by, without someone asking when my TBI was!

    Below are links to the press releases at the time. Please don't access the links if your easily bored, arrant braggarts annoy you or have heard it before, I include them in case people have not been submitted to my brand of self publicity seeking, egotism in the past, and are wondering what I am on about!




  • I am not sure if I truly celebrate the day. I do knowledge the day

    I know when it's almost here. It's been 2 years for me so in that sense people say it's early still not sure I feel that way. I do always have a toast with my husband and two kids I am sure at some point the children who are 22&19 will not always live close. by so I toast still being alive with them. Whatever you may choose is right because it's about what makes you happy!

    Hugs and Prayers,


  • I agree with you 100%. I also think of my TBI date as my second birthday! The old me has surely gone! Xx

  • Hi Paxx,

    My BI occured in 96, when I was about to undergo my teen years. I have had several ops since then but basically tried to carry on with my life as normal which was a big mistake.

    I first found out about and joined Headway in 2007 and a friend told me in 09 or 10 that through there experience, they have become a different person to what they were before and that they celebrate the day they were 'reborn', so to speak.

    Headway and the people who use it have certainly got me thinking of life with a BI more. I thought I would give this second birthday thing a shot too. So my BI birthday is on the 9th of April which is not far from my day of birth 2nd May.

    I did however almost forget my 2nd birhtday this year but hey, I have a BI :).

    I even have a second name, a more fitting name. The name would be partly to do with this friend at my local Headway and partly to do with a friend on this forum.

    My second name is Eugene, nice to meet you :).

  • Thanks all again for the responses. I am not looking at my bi day with any longing for my former self, that person has long gone. It was just that every year seems to be a battle time with depression around the anniversary of my bi.

    So this year thought I would try and embrace/celebrate this time around. Dont know how but hey at least its a more positive look on events. It just seemed a bit morbid as this was the time the old me died.

    Anyway thats up to me to sort out first of to celebrate my actual birthday tomorrow with a day at a spa complete with massage, aren't I the lucky one. Unless its a massage by a 6 foot blonde swede .....named Sven. Now that would be just my luck.

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