Hi Everyone
It’s been a-a-ages since I’ve been on the site, and I thought I would just pop in and say hi. I’ve read a few posts, and as always my heart goes out to those of you who are struggling with so much pain, and other problems in life. And I’m glad to read that some people are finding ways of improving their health and their lives. So, I thought I would give you a quick update on me. (Ooops, just re-read this – turned out it wasn’t so ‘quick’ after all – lol!)
Life is pretty full on for me right now. On the plus side, I have more energy and feel more like ‘me’ than I have in probably 5 years! I am able to work varying hours 6 days a week. Including traveling time my varying hours can be anything from 6 – 12 in a day! A year ago, I struggled with 15 hours a week!
On the downside, there is no sign of our house being sold – we’re not even getting any viewings! So, I’m stuck living here with the man I’m in the process of divorcing, and even that’s on hold as he won’t proceed with the divorce until we can sort out the finance, and we can’t sort out the finance until the house is sold…… Bleurgggh!
These two situations are not unrelated. I spent years, battling fibro, putting all my energy into supporting him, and into the marriage. In spite of the fact that superficially he appeared to be understanding and supportive of my health issues, he frequently told me I wasn’t doing enough, giving him enough attention, support etc. So I tried harder, lost more of myself. In the end, turns out, it wasn’t me, it really was him. Even having an affair wasn’t enough for him – he had to have two simultaneous affairs, and a string of secret (platonic?) ‘friendships’. As I told him, if they’re secret, they’re not friendships. I’m proud of my friends, I’m happy for anyone who’s interested to know who my friends are. Are you ashamed of yours?
So now, I’m no longer wasting my precious energy on someone who isn’t worth it. And even though we’re living under the same roof, I feel so much better. I can’t wait until I’m living alone.
The other thing that has changed for me, which is really helping, is that I am seeing a myofascial release massage therapist – and it really is making a huge difference, in spite of the on-going stress which means that I’m knotted up again by the time I next see her! This is someone who is recommended in the fibro friendly healthcare section of the fibraction website – thanks for the tip Lindsey!
So, I’m not cured. I still have daily pain, and muscle tremors, and a range of the other weird and wonderful symptoms that fibro likes to present us with. But I am re-finding me, my sense of humour, my love of life, my excitement about possibilities for the future – all of which I had lost, and all of which I blamed on the fibro, because I couldn’t see what was right under my nose! I hope to continue to go from strength to strength. I have a new business idea I am actively preparing to launch later this year. Today, for the first time in a long time, I even took the dog for a walk! And this afternoon I have my (very) long-awaited consultation at the pain clinic – I wonder what they will say? You look too healthy and happy – go away….? Lol!
Wishing you all as little pain and as much happiness as possible.
Kaz
xx