Back after a long time

Hi Everyone

It’s been a-a-ages since I’ve been on the site, and I thought I would just pop in and say hi. I’ve read a few posts, and as always my heart goes out to those of you who are struggling with so much pain, and other problems in life. And I’m glad to read that some people are finding ways of improving their health and their lives. So, I thought I would give you a quick update on me. (Ooops, just re-read this – turned out it wasn’t so ‘quick’ after all – lol!)

Life is pretty full on for me right now. On the plus side, I have more energy and feel more like ‘me’ than I have in probably 5 years! I am able to work varying hours 6 days a week. Including traveling time my varying hours can be anything from 6 – 12 in a day! A year ago, I struggled with 15 hours a week!

On the downside, there is no sign of our house being sold – we’re not even getting any viewings! So, I’m stuck living here with the man I’m in the process of divorcing, and even that’s on hold as he won’t proceed with the divorce until we can sort out the finance, and we can’t sort out the finance until the house is sold…… Bleurgggh!

These two situations are not unrelated. I spent years, battling fibro, putting all my energy into supporting him, and into the marriage. In spite of the fact that superficially he appeared to be understanding and supportive of my health issues, he frequently told me I wasn’t doing enough, giving him enough attention, support etc. So I tried harder, lost more of myself. In the end, turns out, it wasn’t me, it really was him. Even having an affair wasn’t enough for him – he had to have two simultaneous affairs, and a string of secret (platonic?) ‘friendships’. As I told him, if they’re secret, they’re not friendships. I’m proud of my friends, I’m happy for anyone who’s interested to know who my friends are. Are you ashamed of yours?

So now, I’m no longer wasting my precious energy on someone who isn’t worth it. And even though we’re living under the same roof, I feel so much better. I can’t wait until I’m living alone.

The other thing that has changed for me, which is really helping, is that I am seeing a myofascial release massage therapist – and it really is making a huge difference, in spite of the on-going stress which means that I’m knotted up again by the time I next see her! This is someone who is recommended in the fibro friendly healthcare section of the fibraction website – thanks for the tip Lindsey!

So, I’m not cured. I still have daily pain, and muscle tremors, and a range of the other weird and wonderful symptoms that fibro likes to present us with. But I am re-finding me, my sense of humour, my love of life, my excitement about possibilities for the future – all of which I had lost, and all of which I blamed on the fibro, because I couldn’t see what was right under my nose! I hope to continue to go from strength to strength. I have a new business idea I am actively preparing to launch later this year. Today, for the first time in a long time, I even took the dog for a walk! And this afternoon I have my (very) long-awaited consultation at the pain clinic – I wonder what they will say? You look too healthy and happy – go away….? Lol!

Wishing you all as little pain and as much happiness as possible.

Kaz

xx

8 Replies

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  • Hi Kaz,

    it's so good to see you back - and to hear your good news!

    You go girl, you have taken charge and rediscovered power - can't say how much I admire you.

    Take care and keep in touch

    Bestest stuff

    Moffy x

  • Ta Moffy

    Will try not to leave it so long next time - but I'm a busy gal now!!

    xx

  • Hello kaz. What excellent news you are happy and obviously tackling your fibro brilliantly.do go and laugh with the pain clinic. Applause to you. Xgins

  • Thank. Xx

  • Hi Kaz wonderful to hear you are back on track with life,i was in a similar situation 9 yrs ago when i separated from my husband is very hard at times i hope you sell your house soon, having alone time is good for the soul,pleased you are getting some good treatment at the pain clinic hope it goes from strength to strength,and great that you are managing to work more hours,lovely to see you on here again Hugs and best wishes Della xxx

  • Thanks Della. It's good to find a bit of time to come back.

  • Glad to hear things are going well for you your husband sounds just like my dad my mum was trying so hard she had ME and Fibromyalgia wich wasn't diagnosed till 1997ish he moved to Yorkshire to go to college, we were burgled 3 times and had bottles thrown through our windows, cops said we did burglary ourselves as it was a coin electricity metre and that my dad wasn't away at college he was in the nick (prison), it got to a point where we had all had enough so we moved up to join my dad he had already been here for 2 years he was supposed to find a 3 bedroomed house for us all to live in he was still living in a 2 I had to sleep on my parents bedroom floor as there was only enough beds for my parents and my 2 brothers, my mum hunted around and found a 3 bedroom flat within 2 weeks of moving up, so I had my own room but still no bed my parents and brothers came first, any way now we were out of the rough estate in king's Lynn and mum had set up her new life she had a place at a different college she gave him 1 last chance, but he didn't take it he came back from a college field trip.dumped his stuff on the floor in a trail through the flat and went off to see my now stepmother mum just scooped his stuff up and dumped it in a pile some of it was wet but she was passed careing his notes were ruined, her turned up 2 weeks later for some clean clothes the had a row I hid my room she told him to leave finaly he said "where am I gonna go" she said "back where you just came from" I didn't bother trying to get her to let him stay as a lot of kids do as I can remember their arguments for as long back as 6-7 years old, it turns out that he had been cheating on her for 18 years as long as they had been married, the funniest bit was when he turned up complaining that his girlfriends divorce papers had gone to her parents home so now they knew about her sordid little affair, then he turns up a few weeks later begging mum to take him back he even said lets put the kids in care and try again, she told him in no uncertain terms to get lost, what an ahole, my mum was coping with the very recent death of her father he had just been diagnosed with spinal and bone cancer a few weeks before, it turned out he had a duradenal ulcer and it perforated that was wat he died from he was paralsed from the waist down due to the cancer so he never felt it, I was 15 at the time,he married the woman I went to the farce of a wedding they didn't even dress up for it he was in a pair of combat trousers and she wore jeans, they didn't realy want me there my little brother refused to go only my older brother was welcome, he used to say my little brother and I wernt his as we were blonde when we were little he seemed to forget our mother was blonde as a child, my stepmother is 47 I'm 43 and my half sister is 19 they are still marriedto each other. Well I've waffled on for long enough, gentle hugs hope glad to hear you are feeling better. Sithy

  • Thanks Sithy. What a nightmare for your mum! At least ours is reasonably civilized on the surface, although he still lies frequently - just out of habit I guess! I just wish we could get a buyer for the house, and then we'd be out of each other's hair!

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