Huge step forward - I said......NO

And the world didn't come to an end, and the person who asked me didn't shoot me on sight! !! What a revelation !!

I have just had a friend call in to ask if I could prepare 60 scones for a "do" in the village at the beginning of April, I agreed to that, cos I can do it standing on my head with my eyes shut, ...... not a pretty picture !!! Hey ho, she then asked whether I could help with the tea party that they are for. I drew myself up to my full 5'6" and said "no, sorry I can't commit to that, so far ahead as I don't know how I'll be feeling". she accepted that and said well lets see on the day, but I know that having produced the scones in the morning I will be heading to the beddery in exhaustied state. I am a real people pleaser and do get put on even though people know I struggle.....every August we have a village fair and for the last six years I've produced up to 250 scones for rendered me incapable for days after, but I did I done it once, maybe I can do it again, normally I say no in my head and yet when I open my mouth the words "oh yes, that be fine" come out instead and I am left befuddled, or should I say even more than my routine befuddled state, as to how it has altered between head and mouth..........oh dear I fear I should consign myself the bin

Very muddledly Foggy x

23 Replies

  • Getting on the bus to go round to Foggie's for some scones!

    Seriously, I'm glad you've managed to say 'no' - it takes a lot of doing when you're used to always trying to please others. :)

    Moffy x

  • Thanks moffy, it's so weird for me to say no and stick to it,

    Foggy goes off to bake some scones for her friends, she will work out a cunning plan as to how to get them there fresh, there is a proviso that under no circumstances whatsoever should they be put in a dreaded microwave ........that means instant

    Guillotine ....sorry !!!

    Yours with flour flying in all directions. Foggy x

  • hi yes lets just go to foggies lol mmmm love a scone with fresh cream and strawwwwberries ! a lovely pot of 'T' ahhhhh slurrps careful only one thing at a time now there.

    possibly just a lovely toasted scone with good butter too thaaats nice (Mrs Browns boys expression) ;-) heheh or simply just a buttered scone that will do too, i love scones i had such a phase at one point and had to have a scone after everything.

    what about Rock buns mmmmm deeeelicious!! my 12 yr old makes them just how i remember them back in my little girl days toddling off to church saying please to meet you instead of peace be with you hahah and a hot chocolate and then bedibies.

    well foggy you can only do what you can when it comes to it so dont put your self in a postion and then not be able to tackle .

    lots of loves and hugs xx your ickle fairy xxx

  • Aww thanks you cazzie, am sending a tray of scones your way :-) enjoy along with your daughters' rock cakes, they sound yummy.

    I am trying to say no more, but years and years of yea coming out instead is a tad hard to overcome, never mind I'll try to.

    Foggy xox

  • I had a recipe for fluffy scones thatnused soda water but I hve have lost it in the tracks of fibro does anynone happen to have this very quick no marge or oil recipe if so could they share it with me gratefully petal

  • Goodness, that's a new one on me, I have a secret ingredient, but certainly not soda, hhhhmmm will have to think on that, and I don't have a no marg or oil recipe either, I'm being a bit useless today aren't I !!! Sorry, but hope someone comes up with it for you.m. Foggy x

  • Well done Foggy - it's quite liberating finding you can say no with impunity isn't it? Like you, my default setting was "yes". I'd find the word had popped out my mouth before the question had even reached my brain and I ended up kicking myself for agreeing to things I didn't want to do or really wasn't well enough for. Finally decided I had to engage brain before speaking so I don't commit to things I don't feel able to do and was surprised to find everyone didn't suddenly decide to drop me. Keep up the good work and if you're ever in Norwich feel free to come armed with scones - one of my many weaknesses xx

  • Thank you misty, yes, it did feel quite good alongside very surprising when I managed it, and they didn't throw their hands up in borrow and run away, they said "oh well see how you are on the day". I nearly fell over with shock, hehe

    Now, Norwich, that's the other side of the country, but I have friends who live near Fakenham, so I do know the area a bit and like it very much, will let you know if I'm over that way ;-) sending you virtual ones anyway, with clotted cream and jam hehehe. When I had my tearoom/restaurant I got into Egon Ronay's Just a Bite guide, my scones apparently were the best he'd ever tasted, and I had a plaque (not plague hehe) on the wall each year until I had to give up......those were the days !!

    Foggy x

  • Well done foggy you have managed what took me over 20 years to do.... Hands foggy a little trophy with the words .... I can say no engraved on it..... I have plenty to hand out so anyone who can say no let me know and you can have a virtual trophy to sit on the virtual shelf you have on here :)

    VG x

  • Why thank you kind lady, Foggy shakes VG's hand and tries to curtsey, falls over and has to be pulled to her feet, shaken not stirred you know.

    Thank you soooo much, what an accolade, but it did feel really good to say it and get a good reaction, rather than the heavens falling on my head, which is what I imagined would happen if I did say no !

    Methinks you may have quite a few takers for the trophys !!!

    Thank you again my friend, Foggy xx

  • Oh gosh wish I had said no when I was 16 lol well done u

  • Aww fadedblossom, you sound sad, I'm sorry. Foggy x

  • Hi

    When I went to pain management they not only made me realise that I was not alone but it is possible to say no to people as well as friends and family, It is not always the good feeling you should have for recognising your condition but it some times feels that your condition is taking over and there is nothing you can do, so you rebel an suffer for days.

    Just me bing a man but why can you not make the scones and freeze them?

    we freeze all sorts some are good some not so, have never tried to freeze home made scones but the shop bought ones freeze just fine.

    Take care and kindest regards


  • I went to pain management and must have got a dud cos they never councilled me on painor chaned my meds nuffink after three visits I still had no idea wot I was there for or wot they was there vfor so I stopped going

  • Oh my word Terry, go and wash your mouth out ;-) You could freeze them, but then I don't think they taste as good, and some people decide that they should reheat them and through them into a microwave, a crime for which there should be a cunning punishment which I will dream up !!! Also shop bought scones are a very different kettle of fish......nothing like what I produce.

    Now I am going to try and nurture the experience of saying no, and I've been told it in pain management, but up until now haven't been successful, now.....well......the skies the limit, I think?

    Foggy x

  • Ah yes a purist, all I can say to that is your scones must be enjoyed with Anchor Butter and a delicious preserve.

    Sorry for the insult but I did not realise what you were making, no wonder you are worn out after baking them I just thought they were like the ones we have sometimes here that are more like a bad tesco one.

    As you say what they say in these pain courses are easy when you are with the others but not so easy when on your own and the mouth working before the brain has engaged.

    Take care and kindest regards


  • Oh dear Terry, I fear the Anchor butter is consigned to the bin.......I live in Devon and the only thing you put with my scones is clotted cream and jam. You are right though, they are totally and completely different from the dreaded unmentionable supermarket sort.

    Yes, easy to say and harder to do is definitely the case, but I will attempt to move forward.

    Best wishes. Foggy x

  • You go girl...saying no takes alot of effort at times.x

  • Thank you so much cherrypie , it's the first time in over 40 years that I have managed it !!

    Hope you manage it too. :-) Foggy x

  • Hi

    We lived in Plymouth in the late eighties early nineties and often we would go away with our little caravan weekends and explore Devon and Cornwall. These are two of my favourite counties in England and the quality of the cream tea varied enormously. as you say some has the scone with clotted cream and jam and some had the scone with aerosol cream and what seemed like Tesco value scones. We have had some wonderful teas but one of our favourites was on Exmoor and we did take a lot of our friends who came to see us there and there was a farm on the way back to Southampton just outside Exeter that sold the best clotted cream and their own jams and when you had a cream tea they served these Scones that half filled a dinner plate with their own cream and jam, but they did not sell their own Scones for some reason

    But these are just memories now as the farm has gone to housing and we have no idea when it happened as one day we were out that way one weekend and thought we would go there for a cream tea, alas it is just a bit of history and our memories.

    Take care and kindest regards


  • I have never made scones. any tips would be gratefully received. I was diagnosed with fm by the pain clinic, then 3 years later diagnosed type 2 diabetic. so it plays havoc with my depression. need to move to help with weight and watch what I eat. Since being ill I have reactions to medicatios I never had before. the pain burns. but my temper is very bad now so people never ask anything of me. I like you never said no to anyone xx

  • Bless your lovely heart, FF - you sound like a hopeful person and yes, a people-pleaser. It's a shame you can't enjoy the social elements of the events rather than be contributing enough scones to feed the hoards and getting knocked for 6 in the process. But it sounds like you're learning not to be put upon as much, and it is of course a compliment that you are being asked in the first place. A delicate balance...

    I'm lucky enough to live in the west country now and so it feels right baking scones in our little kitchen, and toasting scrummy toasted buttered saffron bread from time to time! Not good for the waistline or my poor abused legs, but it's important to me as a person to make something positive and have the smell of baking around!

    Tettridge, I had a favourite farm up on Dartmoor that did the biggest cream teas I've ever seen. Now I only 45 mins drive from it, I must get back up there to see if it still exists. Such a shame that homely places like that get destroyed in the name of "progress" :-/

  • Another Devonian, hoorah......was the place you liked Primrose Cottage in a little village the name of which has vanished into foggydom ? I reckon I've been to most of them, I thought about writing a guide to tea rooms in the southwest, but where I went over the years has now vanished into the aforementioned foggydom and to try and get round to them now wouldn't be on, but it's a good thought.n

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