59 today!

I cannot believe that I am now 59.

In my heart I am sixteen but physically, sometimes, I feel about 90!

I would have loved to have had the energy to go to the theatre for my birthday but I know that I wouldn't feel like turning out ready for a 7.30pm performance. We had thought about going to the matinee last Thursday afternoon but the weather was very "iffy" and, as we had already had snow which had cut us off for a couple of days, we decided against it. Midnight Tango was what I would have liked to have seen.

I know my limitations, so have been very content with a cooked breakfast which my husband made for us this morning. It was a real treat and made a change from porridge!

A bit later we braced ourselves against the elements and my husband drove 20 miles to a sandy beach so that our 2 dogs could have a good old run. They love it there but today the weather was EVIL....bitterly cold and windy and sand blowing into every orifice!

I staggered along with my stick like a real old lady. Having fractured my left wrist falling on very soft sand there, 3 weeks ago, I wasn't going to take any chances.

At the moment a lovely blackbird is singing beautifully in our garden. It is really gorgeous and very uplifting. He is there every evening now between about 5.00pm and 6.00pm.

I love the birds and feed them every day.

Yesterday, though, I fell over once again as I slipped on what has become a bit of a mud slide and landed on my bum very daintily (NOT!)..but apart from my pride no damage was done! I have enough fat in that region to cushion the fall....lol...

We are now waiting for an Indian Takeaway to be delivered. My husband would have gladly taken me out for a meal but I just don't ever have the energy these days. It seems so feeble at my age, especially as I know older people who have so much more energy than me and do all sorts of adventurous things! They also have more money, too, of course, which certainly helps!!!

Ian bought me a lovely birthday cake in M&S which I am looking forward to eating if there is any room after I've eaten the Indian.

Then it'll probably be an early night as usual!

That's all for now. I love reading all your posts every day. I don't always have the energy to reply to everybody but I do what I can when I can.

Have a good evening everyone.

Love and hugs Saskia XX

28 Replies

  • Happy Birthday Saskia,hope you had an enjoyable day and thank you for sharing it with us x

  • Happy birthday and many more to come!

    Moffy x

  • Happy birthday ... I managed to forget mine.... Now that's what I call fibro fog....

    VG x

  • Happy Birthday Saskia !!!, so want a Biranyi now YUM YUM .............. Enjoy :)

  • [sings] Happy Birthday To You!!

    best wishes,

    sandra. :D

  • Happy Birthday all the very best wishes to you :)

  • Happy Birthday x

  • Thank you all so much for your good wishes. They really mean a lot.

    VG fancy forgetting your own birthday. Hope someone reminded you!

    Mdaisy....I had a lovely vegetable biryani ( I am vegetarian) It was delicious. Not that I want to make you jealous! I hadn't had an Indian for several months so I really enjoyed it. I'll have the other half tomorrow.

    sandra...thank you for singing to me!

    I shall be going up to bed shortly. Stayed up later than usual, surprisingly, especially after a glass and a half of bubbly which made me a bit squiffy, as I very rarely drink!

    Take care everybody.

    Hugs Saskia XX

  • Lol yes I was brought breakfast and presents in bed and I was like what's this for and my OH and son said ... It's your birthday....... Well it was a lovely surprise :)

  • Hope you had a very content birthday, that's what most of us hope for nowadays. Here's to having a good content year for you x

  • Hi Jom,

    Yes, you are right, contentment is the most comfortable feeling some of us can hope for these days.

    My birthday was hardly exciting but it was all I could cope with and at least I had the company of my dear husband, who does his very best for me, and my 2 lovely dogs and 2 cats.

    This morning I have woken up feeling very anxious. I often get these waves of anxiety because I worry about the future so much and how I'd manage on my own if, God forbid, my husband should pass away before me. Some days he doesn't feel too good and I worry about him so much. Before I met him I was independent, working , driving and living a full life, although I was quite lonely. Since being married, my health has deteriorated so much and I have stopped driving, as I have lost my confidence, and also my medication fogs my concentration. I am not the person I once was. I know that is how so many others on this site feel, too. It is so hard to come to terms with.

    Thank you so much for your good wishes for me. They mean a lot. I hope that you have a contented year, too.

    Saskia XX

  • Happy Birthday Saskia xxx

  • Happy Birthday Saskia xxx

  • Happy Birthday fellow fishy - I'm 58 tomorrow and can thoroughly empathise with the age thing. I'm actually in my mid twenties despite the old bod thinking I'm an old crone. I'm going out with the kids come hell or high water, even if I do pay for it afterwards. Was hoping to go out to the coast for an amble but the weather's sh*te so we're probably going to try one of the stately homes nearby that I've not visited despite living in the area for nearly 40 years. Will pack the sticks and if need be give in and borrow a wheelchair - damned if I'm giving in. MInd you that's how I feel today - will possibly be back to feeble little whimpering thing if I have a busy day tomorrow. Hope you enjoyed your birthday feast and the poorly wrist heals nice and quickly xx

  • Hi mistymeana,

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! for tomorrow. We fishy people are so lovely aren't we...lol...probably how we ended up with Fibro in the 1st place...trying to be all things to all people. I am a natural born carer and get frustrated that I can't do much for others these days. Can't do much for myself either! Everything is such an effort.

    I hope you enjoy your day whatever you do. Visiting a stately home will be nice and usually there is the occasional seat to perch on for a few minutes. Haven't been to one for ages altho. my husband still pays for membership of Nat. Trust and English Heritage. Since having the dogs we can't really go off for the day any more.

    We have had terrible weather too. It was dreadful at the beach yesterday but thankfully it is much brighter today.

    It is nice that you have children. I didn't marry until I was 48 so, sadly, it was too late for me. Ian has 3 grown up offspring. Although he had custody of them and brought them all up unfortunately, after he met me, which was well after they had all left home, his ex wife and his mother poisoned their minds so much with terrible lies that they have nothing to do with us. I think that partly contributed to my Fibro. because I was devastated by all the upsets. Ian has a 10 year old grandson whom we have never seen. We are hoping that one day he may want to find us. Bless him.

    Anyway, enough of my sad tale. That isn't what you want to hear! Thank you so much for your good wishes. They mean a lot.

    From one "young at heart old crock" to another...lol.... have a wonderful day with your family. I'll be thinking of you.

    Hugs Saskia XX

  • Hope you had a lovely day Saskia! It was so lovely to read your post, it sounded so lovely and peaceful. But I know how you feel. I am 55 but in my head I'm still 18! I struggle with most daily living tasks because of fibro and other ailments but I do try to keep upbeat, what else can you do? I live alone, a widow, but I am still able to drive short distances and I love just going out for a coffee or sitting by the sea. I think anything that gives us peace and contentment should be grabbed with open arms. We are all in the prime of our lives now and we should grasp life, and whatever we can manage, with what little strength we have. I am a smoker, and I know the risks of this habit, but it is a choice I CHOOSE to make, and I think that's important; that we make choices, however good or bad, that we feel relevant and appropriate to us. Keep on truckin' chuck!!! XX

  • Happy Birthday Saskia - welcome to the 59 club which I joined at the end of Feb. Like you, the celebrations had to be somewhat quieter than I would have liked. What I would like to do and what the body can actually do are two different things but I too feel younger in my mind than I actually am.Two people had actually asked me if I was 60 this year!!!! That had me looking in the mirror I can tell you! But, on the other hand, fibro is here to stay. It has changed my life obviously, but I have met loads of new people because of it and just had to take a different path to the one I thought I would be taking years ago. I try my hardest ( although it doesn't always work ) to see something positive every day - the sun shining, the birds singing, a gorgeous sunset etc and can at least be thankful I'm still around to enjoy those things.Love and gentle hugs to you xxxxx

  • i too am 59 this year in july,,my husband is 70 in september,,and he is my carer,,,wrong way around for me,,,i am ment to be there for him,,but this fibro is an unfrogiveing illness, glad you had a nice birthday saskia,,,my daughters are sorting out a party for my lovely husband and i am so glad they are doing it,, this pain and mind fog i dred to think where we would of ended up . i am new to the group but love reading all the letters and makes me feel less alone. lin xx

  • My husband will be 70 in September, too! Like you I feel I should be looking after him. Do you worry about him passing on before you? I do all the time and it makes me feel really anxious. I don't have children but I am so glad that yours are arranging a party for your husband. I am just off up to bed but I shall try to write more in the next day or 2. Hugs Saskia XX

  • thank you so much saskia,,in it strange that our husbands are both going to be seventy,,hugs to you too. hope you had a good nights sleep. will lood forward to a post from you soon.xxxxx

    yes i do worry about him going before me but as you say i have children,,,and they are a comfort to me,,but if you have friends they are a comfort too. i will tell you more about mine if you like and my lovely grandchildren and you can share them by mail with me as we do with our horrible illnessess night xxxxxxxx

  • That's lovely aiden. Thank you for sharing news of your children with me. Would you like to be a FB friend? If you would, I can give you my details in a private message as my real name isn't Saskia. It would be lovely to compare notes. It must be such a comfort to have children. I married too late as I was 48 and Ian was 59. Ian brought up his 3 children, as he had custody of them, but when he and I got together, which was well after they had all left home, his mother and his ex wife told so many lies about us and poisoned their minds against us so none of them have anything to do with us. I think the upset this caused was probably a contributory factor in me developing Fibromyalgia, as I was devastated. Ian has a 10 year old grandson whom we have never seen. We are happy with each other and we have 2 dogs and 2 cats and they are our little family.

    Hope you are having a pleasant evening and that you aren't in too much pain.

    Hugs Saskia XX

  • yes would be nice to chat to you,,,seems apart from you sadly not having children we have so much in common,,how sad for you oth not to have the contact with the children,,no way you can write to them,,they know there father and could not epect him to have changed so much,,,he brought them up and they are not chilren and cant understand them beliving things,,,yes please would love to be your friend x

  • I'll message you, aiden, with my email and FB details. XX

  • ok,,speak soon x

  • a belated birthday wish x

  • Thank you. XX

  • Hi Saskia ,

    just thought I'd wish you a happy birthday for 3 days ago ;-)

    I've only just signed in as I've had fibro for over 19 years but never new this web site was available, its nice to know I'm not on my own .

    My pain has got a lot worse over the last 2-3 years along with migraine,and pain in my feet and fingers ,its like having frost bit.

    I'm 53 years old and like you I feel like an old woman of 90 ,it dosn't help when the old lady down the road walks past me like a spring chicken ,any way no more moaning

    Once again happy birthday xx Tina

  • Hi Tina, Thank you for your belated birthday wishes.

    Welcome to the site. I haven't been a member for very long, only a few months. As you say, it is nice to know that we are not alone. You've had Fibro. for a long time. I'd never heard of it when I was diagnosed with it.

    Like you, I get terrible headaches and migraines. They finish me off sometimes as I just cannot function and usually have to give in and go back to bed if my meds don't work. I don't have the frost-bite feelings but do get pins and needles and numbness and spasms in my hands. I feel very feeble, too, when I see sprightly elderly people going about their business.I am pleased for them but just wasn't expecting to be walking along with a stick at my age! I fell and broke my wrist just over 3 weeks ago on very soft sand and, since then, fell over in the garden when I was topping up the bird feeders, so now I feel even more vulnerable....poor old crock...lol.....!

    Do you have a partner or close family to support you?

    I hope that you find some friendship by blogging on here from time to time. It isn't all "doom and gloom" ...some people post jokes, poems or recount funny experiences. I just go with the flow and I try to be supportive to people if I am up to it. No one will judge you, so you can be very open and honest and most likely someone will be able to empathise or sympathise.

    Hope you are having a reasonably good day.

    Love and hugs Saskia XX

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