Today we are going back a few million years to the time when cavemen roamed the earth, dinosaurs roared in the forests, and there were no electric kettles or tea bags.
Life was hard - there was no Tesco or Asda, and if you wanted a roast brontosaurus, you had to go out and fight for it. At least you knew there was no horse-meat in it as horses hadn't been invented then.
Worst of all - there was no M&S or New Look, and Ikea was a billion light years away.
How would you have furnished your cave?
What would you have served for your family to eat?
How would you have clothed yourself, and could you manage to light a fire with no matches?
We're longing to hear from you all, but first I have to go and rescue Sandra, who is being chased by a Giant Budgerisaurus, and poor VG who has been caught by a Collossal Crocodillypig!
Written by
ladymoth
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34 Replies
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Oh great being attacked while stitching together a fetching Feather and croc outfit, do you know how long it took me to make a hole in this bone to make a needle, found some nice viney stuff hanging off a tree I have a lovely feather top a short croc skin skirt and was about the cobble together some crocodillypig shoes when I was interrupted by a rampaging herd who have apparantly taken offence at my outfit..
I have a lovely frock made from the hide of the Budgerisaurus! Any spare crocodillypig for me to make shoes?
Don't worry about the rampaging herd - that's just the rest of FibroAction on the way to our cave for tea - except that we haven't invented tea - and what the **** shall I do for cake and sandwiches? Quick - somebody invent something!
Be careful up on those vines, VG - I have heard that here is a HUGE snake hiding up there - a Titanicus Leroysius - very dangerous! The witch doctor tells me that his great-millionth grandchild is a household pet in the future - strange how things work out, innit?
Moffy x
Comes out of her tree and hands over some of the crocodillypig skin ... Look at my shoes . Soes moffy carefully rolled up skin to make 6 inch heels... We can't have tea, no one has invented fire yet .. But I do have some fresh wooly mammoth milk .. In fact it's so fresh it's still inside the mammoth. Been waiting for someone to invent a bucket to put it in......
How DID you invent a bucket I can plug the hole with mammoth dung covered in snake spit but I need the bucket.... Share your inventive skill so I can make my own bucket.... Then use that one while you cope with the one patched with dung and spit
Drat while I was battle the foggiasaurus you crept in and got some semblance of mending the bucket, but I assure you My foggiasaurus skin will last longer as the dung and spit will hold nothing once liquid is added.......hmmmm ??
We'll mend it dear moffy, we'll mend it, with some of my newly caught foggiasaurus skin, we can then have snadwiches of roast foggiasaurus, with some newly gathered horseradish (no horse meat ??here as the horses in those days were either non existent or too small to bother with )slivers, cut by my finely honed spear and have nettle tea which may be a tad insipid as I haven't quite got round to creating the men's of heating water so we'll steep the nettles in water for days and hope for the best. Goes away into a foggy cave to think with. We very inept brain as to what to do next.
Oh what a fab idea.......Well I would have a mammoth size bed, nice roaring fire from the rubbing of a stick and hair......And as much fresh meat as I could catch....Ob catching food is pre-fibro.....Think a nice sabre fur for a dress and maybe some sneaky peek toed crocy skins.......
Foggy - I'm not sure you should have left the nettles soaking - they've fermented and turned into nettle gin (hic!).
On second thoughts - it's probably the best idea since the dawn of time! Chuck a lemon down from that tree - chip a bit of ice off the glacier and all we have to do is sit and wait for someone to invent tonic water. Bottoms up!
I want a foggysaurus skin bucket please than I can milk my mammoth and then we can gather round pjmains fire and have hot milk.....
Mmm hot milk with a dash of gin ... Who needs night meds ... ????
Only problem .. My tame wooly mammoth turns out to be a male... Heads off to search for female ........
Oi, Milk maid VG - don't try to milk that Tyrannosaur - she's a bit touchy!
Ouch my mistake gets the right milk from a female woolly mammoth ... Ummm could some one heat the milk please i have just invented the milk maid cap and I must rush back to my cave and sew one with my vines and bone needle.... I have found a rather nice Plant with frilly edged leaves... It will make such a pretty cap...
Have developed the utensil in which to heat the milk yet ? Methinks perhaps not, but I'm working on it......VG is clearly intoxicated by the nettle gin, another cunning plan for me , whilst peeps are sobering up and sewing to use my ingenious fog ridden brain to invent the vessel in which to heat milk......I've made a massive rotisserie for the roasting of the foggiasuarus and the woolly mammoth, so am exhausted but will try to come up with something........crawls of to her fog ridden cave again...........toddle toddle.....hic
Hmm it appears while running back to my cave quickly I shock the milk so much it has turned to strange yellow lump... I think I shall call it butter ..... But I don't know what do do with it and now I am thirsty so have found a nearby spring... If only I had something in which to put this natural spring water......
Could you stop the shaking process a tad earlier and just add some wild strawberries, which are plentiful , and just have a mammoth strawberry milkshake? Hehe
Has now refined the skin from her foggiasaurus into a round thing with a handle and gives it to VG in which to put her water, but is very put off by the yellow lump and won't touch it with a barge pole........whoops........(.a very long pole as barges haven't been invented yet but pleads deep fogginess for the slip up)
Takes the skin gratefully ...now in exchange ... Hmm you don't like the yellow lump... Would you like some mammoth milk not shaken or stirred... It's very fresh. Hands over tame woolly mammoth...... Ohhh I like your long pole .. Now if you used a sharp rock you could shape one end into a point and well .....do something with the pointy end.... Hmm what could you do with a pointy end ????
I know what you could do with your pointy end, VG - you cold poke it at people you don't like! Or you could go hunting with it and catch some dinner!
I found some funny knobbly things in the ground - I tried to make them burn on the fire, but took them out half way, 'cos they smelled lovely. I think I'll call them potatoes!
Just eaten one with a lump of this butter stuff - yummy yum yum!
Moffy x
Pole vaults over the stream to get to Moffys potatoes with butter.... Ohh look I have two fish speared on the pointy end ... Lets cook them and have them with the potatoes and butter
Is not into lumpy things or this new fangled "butter"' stuff (turns her peculiar pointy nose in the air) and heads off into the under growth, or overgrowth, she's not sure which, and hunts for some "healthy " greenery, as she is a bit vain about keeping her figure to fit the itsy bitsy teeny weeny leopard spot clothes which are intended to keep her warm.........(not on a day like today here...it's ffrrreeezzzing )........ But finds a ?? which scares the life out of her, so for the enth time today she returns to her foggy cave to regroup
Yyuuckk will thinks Foggy, will wait til balsamic glaze comes along.......... nd thinks to herself , " might be here a flippin long time" so dissolves into the all encompassing gloomy fog of the night......... Here's to another day, month, year, century or millennia
I was really happy till I realised you had to skin two woolly mammoths to make me a fur bikini
sorry I've been m.i.a. but I'm back with good news!
I was hiding from a Giant Budgerisaurus, in a cave when I heard pleasant rhytmic noise of shells being clicked together and hands beating skins stretched on a frame - think I call these drums.
on further investigation I found a group of men moving very suggestively to these sounds.
they must have been feeling very warm as they kept removing clothing items whilst chanting about leaving their "hat" on!
then WHOOSH!!!! they were bare and I think I saw their "hats" WOW!!!!
naturally I felt it important to stay and observe, and I do know the way back.
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