Angry! !!😠😠😠😠

So yesterday I had to go to see the occupational health doctor as I am off sick and can't get an appointment with the pain clinic untill april/may (I have been told there is a 5 month wait) I think my employer wants rid of me, which I can't blame her for my absence in the last 12 months has been shocking to say the least.

This doctor told me there is no such thing as fibromyalgia, it's a made up condition for people who insist they have pain and there is no medical reason for it.

I explained in haven't actually been diagnosed yet and he said ' well how could you be? It doesn't exist!.

He then asked why i'm so insistent on pursuing a 'diagnosis ' he said I would do far better with my time to stop chasing a cause that probably isn't there.

He tried to make out it was depressed which I am not and said all my pain probably comes as a result of what has taken place throughout my life. He said wellness courses and positive thinking are the best things he could advise. I explained in have nearly every self help book going and I had even joined your online support group, he then said 'you would do better not to be part of a support group online because they fill your head with none truths and if someone said one of there symptoms was they woke up green in a morning, everyone would follow suit '

I can't tell you how rude, arrogant and dismissive he was.

In the end my mind fogged over and i couldn't hear anything else he was saying, I got so embarrassed then because I had to tell him I hadn't heard him, could he repeat it? He said '.not really, i'll send a report to your employer ' and ushered me out the room. I have no idea what the report will say

The only good thing to come out of this is my realisation that you guys really are the best support because you are the only ones who fully understand the condition and have also come across idiots like him. What chance do we have if doctors treat us this way. 😒😒

Love and light


39 Replies

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  • Hi Julie.....Your post leaves me wonder you are angry. I didn't really think it was possible that with all the latest research and knowledge into fibro a doctor could be so adamant we are all pulling "sickies"! There must be someone you can complain to...maybe someone else can help with that one. I am sorry you had to go through all that...Let us know what happens and come here any time to talk, chat get more information....xx

  • Thank you Trikki x

  • well - that doctor is in the wrong profession maybe he should change his job maybe train as a plumber he could be better at that )- or maybe he would be just as bad, - I have now been diagnosed with the so called "no such an illness" but I changed my doctor 3 times and it has been a 5 year uphill slog - but you can get there and the reason for knowing what you have is so you know the pain is not something else! and so you can deal with it mentally and physically - hang on in there girl, and step over the ignorant fools - Neese x

  • Thank you Neesey1005

    One of those moments you wish you could have recorded the conversation lol. X

  • I was sent to the so called pain clinic last year - miles away - met a lady who spoke minimal English - she kept putting her hand up saying "I am speaking now"!!-I was seen for nearly an hour and she then said - they don't work with people with fibromyalgia only people with chronic fatigue!!! - and that she knew nothing about fibromyalgia- what a waste of time - but I have a great doctor and rheumatologist at the moment so I am not going mad after all x

  • Its unbelievable Neesey1005 the struggle to get seen by someone who can help. The pain clinic i've been referred to consists of a rheumatologist, a physio and psychologiist. They work together to find the best outcome but I don't hold out much hope to be honest.

    Julie x

  • My pain team were excellent. Although it is improbable that they can make you pain free. And I did really well with the cognitive behaviour I did with them, but we are all different and work better with different individuals.

    The OH Dr is well out of order, and fibromyalgia is recognized now and officially. Depending on how well you need to get on with him I would be writing a carefully worded letter informing him of that and whilst you are sure he didn't mean it, how stressful you found his appointment. Unfortunately you need to get an official diagnosis. Even if it is a 'probable'


    Just for a start, will try and find the actual classification

  • Thank you alisamary.

    Really useful. X

  • Hi Julieanne45 what an absolute plonker. You poor thing being treated like that by a medical proffessional. I think you would do better to find another practice while staying with us "layabouts" so we can support until you find better medical help. Don't give up hun. Take care xxx

  • Thank you angiesmith50 it was so demoralising. Hopefully i'll never have to see him again.

    I was sent there via work, I actually work for the NHS but my manager wouldn't send me to the NHS occupational health as she said "they would just tell her to support me" so she sent me to this private guy.

    Julie x

  • wowser! No wonder you're angry how can that man call himself a doctor! How uncaring and rude. Is there anyone you can make a complaint to? Can you get your GP to send a report to your employer (you may need to pay). Perhaps contact citizens advice for help as that is just terrible and bad practice on the doctors part. I really hope you manage to get it sorted out - we all deserve far better treatment than that.

  • OMG I can't believe that he actually spoke to you like that, he should be reported to someone, anyone!!!' 😬 Perhaps you need to get an information pack all about fybro sent to the surgery it's. available on here, it's sent Anonoumsly .

    Who actually diagnosed you with fybro in The first place, have you seen a rheumatologist who usually diagnoses fybro.

  • Hi mydexter.

    I haven't been diagnosed yet, there's a 5 month wait to see a rheumatologist. My neurologist thinks it may be that but he says he can't diagnose it. It needs to be a rheumatologist. I took my last neuro letter with me to the appointment and it was on there that he suspects this is something I have along side the problem I have with my brain.

    Julie x

  • Oh my. I too am speechless. I am so sorry you had to listen to that ****. You don't deserve to be talked to or treated that way. I really hope you can find someone to help you.

    Take careΓ—Γ—

  • Hi julie im sorry to read this and unfortunately theres a lot of doctors out there with this very attitude towards fibro i wonder is this doctor of age as i believe the older generation of doctors have this disbelief in fibro you really must change your doctor or even clinic altogether in my opinion, i was diagnosed from a gp in 2010 im also diagnosed from a rhuematologist just recently i waited 7 years for this appt as my doctors kept tellin me i dnont need a rhuematalogist to diagnose me an that if a doctor has told ive got it then i should believ them, so i went away with ok but i still wanted to see a rhuemy as i wanted to know if there was anything else wrong with me apparently he said i could have 1 of the 3 with symptoms alike but my doctors still wont send me for mri scan and i feel something else is wrong but im not going to find out without a scan, i would keep going to the doctors until they crack and send you for what you need ( a diagnosis ) or to the same doctor and tell them if he believes this isnt the case then to send you for testing as if you dont have fibro you have something else. i wish you all the luck an do take care of yourself xx

  • Hi Julie

    I have lived with Fibromyalgia and ME since 1980 and have been hearing this type of nonsense for a long time.

    It is sad that we are still hearing this rubbish.

    As far as I am concerned, I personally think it is pure ignorance! Rather than the doctor/consultant etc say that they don't know anything about the condition, they will say that it doesn't exist.

    Out of interest did you see a doctor or was it an Occupational Health Therapist?

    My pain has been blamed on depression in the past. All the positive thinking in the world wouldn't take my pain away.

    I am so sorry you have been put through all this.

    Unfortunately as we know the NHS is in crisis and the waiting times for Pain Clinics are getting longer and longer.

    By the way, I wake up green in the morning :) (Just wanted to attempt to make you laugh!)

    Take care of yourself

    Lu xx

  • Ha ha BlueMermaid3 you really have cast a light in the dark and made me laugh.

    He was a doctor. My employer sent me because she wants to know if I will ever be able to return to work xx

  • I'm so glad it came across as funny and made you laugh! Lol. Sometimes these things don't always translate as they are meant πŸ˜…

    Keep your chin up my friend.

    Hugs. Lu xx

  • Hi Julieanne45

    I feel so angry on your behalf. What a pompous arrogant, ignorant doctor. He needs retraining on his attitude to patients.

    It is sad to say that there are some who think fibro is all in the head and it seems to be the older doctors who are so dismissive, despite the widespread knowledge of this condition.

    Don't be defeated, if you can afford it, ask to see a rheumatologist privately. Ring the secretary of the rheumy whose list you are on and see if he does private work. Once you have your diagnosis you will be able to see him via the NHS as usual.

    You could also ring the private hospitals in your area and see if they can recommend one, although obviously not the one you have just seen. This is one way of being treated sooner rather than having to wait.

    Snap Lu, I wake up green every morning but I am usually pink by lunchtime LOL!


  • Thank you bluebell99.

    I will never see him again. If my employer wants me to go to occupational health again I shall refuse to see him.

    I have asked my GP for a private referral but was refused because I am under the neuros for the cerebellar tonsillar decent I have so it apparently isn't that straight forward because the neuros still can't rule out if my problems are related.

    Maybe when I see the neuros again I will discuss it with them.

    Thank you for making me laugh 😁😁😁

    Love and light

    Julie x

  • M last GP who was fully conversant with fibro who was the one who actually told me I had had it for at least six years suggested that I joint a support group if there was one in my area or an on line one as it was such a complex Illness. He said some if the most knowledgeable people as to what was best to do were people who had been diagnosed with the illness. When I told him I had been on an online forum for several years before knowing I actually had the illness trying to help he said fantastic carry on with it.

    These people make me so angry. I feel unchristian tendencies coming on and start wishing that they would have it for say a month. I am not so sadistic as to wish anyone having it in a permanent basis but that they should get some insight into how badly it affects most of us.

    It is good to have a diagnosis as if people ask what is wrong what do you say if you haven't got a name for it. Eg I have about 25 things wrong and it can vary from day to day and hour to hour anyone not knowing what it is like probably does this we are all a screw loose.

    Well sounds as though this report will be a work of fiction.x

  • Thank you rosewine

    I think your so right in everything you say

    I even went as far as to say to him if my pain showed as bruises my body would be black and blue. I would look like i'very been beaten with a baseball bat. He just looked down his nose and grinned. Stupid man

    Love and light

    Julie x

  • Hi

    They are suppose to ask you if you would like a copy of the letter before they send it to your employer.

    I would contact ACAS if you have any problems and told you need to terurn to work .

    Good luck

  • Hi Rose54

    I will get a copy it was just last time I went, I saw a different doctor, he told me what was going to be in the report so I was already prepared .

    Julie x

  • I must have seen the same doctor. He kept on about depression and kept asking if there was a history of it in my family. What did my parents die of and how was my relationship with my family. When I got upset he said I needed counselling. Take care we know this isn't imaginary and hopefully one day people will stop treating us so badly xx

  • I am a teacher and have been referred for 3 occupational Health Assessments. Are you in the UK? If so, legally, you must give consent for any report / information to be shared with your employer. Crucially you also have the right to withdraw your consent at any point, including after the assessment. I'd make sure you read and are happy with the report before you allow it to be sent to your employer.

  • Yeah I am in the UK TamarynS.

    I ticked to say she could have a copy the same time as me but I might phone Monday and say I want to see it first. I didn't know you could change your mind at any stage

    Thank you

    Julie x

  • It's considered good practice to show you a copy for approval before sending it to your employer, but not all OH people do that. You also have the right to ask for any facts you feel are inaccurate to be changed, but cannot ask them to change a statement that is their opinion. If you really disagree with their opinion though, you can ask to have them include a written statement from you to that effect. Good luck! x

  • Unbelievable.

    This will take some effort but you are entitled to a second opinion.

    I would also complain. There's absolutely no doubt it exists. The NHS which employs your GP recognises it.

    You're also entitled to a copy of the report. They cant dodge these issues.

    I went through much the same process but managed to get another job - being open about the condition. I jumped before I was pushed and glad I did. In a way the employer won, but I'm actually in a stronger position.

    I wish you success. Lots of hugs XX

  • I'm shaking my head I'm so sorry 😐

    What a horrible experience

    I've had some Similar ones but nothing as far out I always say the only thing I get depressed is loss of friendship independence, lack of understanding from so called professionals much like yourself plus IM IN PAIN! That's why I'm here duh πŸ™„ I remember a few years ago I told ☝️ one off when he asked why I had missed so many Appointment's, I said to him how heartless he sounded and maybe he needed to go back to medical school to polish your people skills (i said bed side manner)

    he was taken aback I said I won't be coming back to his clinic I left saying you have you ever considered that your professional opinion is wrong!! and why didnt you find out what's was wrong with me if fibro is a waste basket diagnosis ps the way you speak down to me is discussing I was livid for years I'm still not over it as I'm always ask do you know Dr so & so.. I almost started a YouTube campaign name and shame the heartless ones.πŸ¦‹

  • Wow GillygangGong. That would teach them lol.

    I really wish I was a more assertive confident person. I should have stopped the consultation and told him I would return to see another doctor but i'm a bit weak when it comes to deal with them. I think I need to toughen up a bit.

  • I totally understand how weak and helpless you feel do you have someone who will support you and come to appointments with you? Im still shocked by some of the statements that come out of their mouths it's appalling. You know when it first starts the pain, after a while people start disappearing admittedly I did become a bit obsessed with finding out what was going on and trying to convince people ect but i was falling apart and I have never felt so alone!

    this highly contributed to my anxiety and depression) then you get a clever doctor or physio who is less than understanding coming out with statements like it's all in your head or fibro doesn't exist ect you stop going to clinics as the actual act of going to the hospital would keep me in greater pain and in bed for a week you start to think what's the point!

    Until another symptom crops up!

    Ive had about ten rheumys Endeo physio specialists ect over the last 11 years the one I last saw was great a professor he was straight talking, he said look I don't believe all this anxiety depression is anything to do with your pain he also said the NHS physiotherapy regime is rubbish. Amongst other things he said if you have pain in more than one joint they struggle. it was the most refreshing thing I have heard in a long time at least he was straight up. I've not sacked him lol!

    I've had anti depressants they made me depressed to be honest i was given pregablin then discharged once again I said is that it he shrugged his shoulders I was gutted! however they eventually helped me they help you stay in R.E.M. sleep so helps with muscle repair but can make you down at first and a bit of weight gain I'm slow release tramadol I find they do work better than plain ones. Diazepam for muscle relaxants 2 mg and a sleeper Temazepan 15mg I'm never pain free but they do help me. You need to find what works for you. Fibromyalgia is a recognised condition but means muscle pain in Greek or something like that. just because the clinicians can't see what's causing the pain doesn't mean it's not there. Don't take this treatment

    Have you had X-rays Mri

    Stress hormones are really damaging to our wellbeing so telling you it's all in your head is... damaging to wellness I would ask for a second third forth opinion it's a draining process and I do feel for you and our fellow pain sufferers!

  • Thank you GillygangGong for your lovely reply.

    I've had 7 MRI scanso and a CT scan over the last 4 years as I have a cerebellar tonsillar decent, they firstly said with chiari malformation but now they have disputed that.

    My auntie always comes with me to appointments but she tends to take what they say the wrong way. Like, I saw a neurosurgeon to discuss operating on my skull and he decided not to go ahead but did say that sometimes pain in the body comes from pain stress and anxiety so she came out and told my uncle 'It's all in her lol. She just doesn't get it x

  • It's all in her head? Do you have anyone else who can go with you appointments with you. Saying that it's only time and dozens of hospital appointments that have given my husband an insight into how hard it's been for me getting my illnesses recognised. my husband who used to believe what doctors were saying was gospelπŸ–•πŸΌbecause that's how we were brought up? It's only Now he realises what they were saying was just an opinion.

    a point of view.

    Yes stress and anxiety do make symptoms worse and could have added to initial pains I always ask so doctor is that your professional opinion? These leads to further explanation as to what happens next plan of action. sometimes you see them squirming.

    It makes me very sad that your not getting the support you truly need. Ps I don't have a clue what the neurology conditions are but am interested to know?

    Hope your feeling as good as possible xxx

  • I can relate to this. My gp advised me I had fibromyalgia, which at first I thought i had better just get in with it. Turns out my pain became much worse, I saw a different dr who sent me for every blood test known to man. Had to go back to dr (the one who said I had Fibromyalgia) ( 3 gps at practice, can't always get to see the one you want) because of pain while still waiting for blood results. I needed a sick note as I couldn't work, bearing in mind never had a sick note. He then said stop watching day time tv, lose weight, exercise and the pain is all in my head and I'm a hypochondriac. I walked out surgery so low than when I walked in, cried all the way home. I said I can understand why people jump off bridges as they turn to their dr for help and this is the result. He said I'll refer you to a psychologist then !!! Following day I have a phone call saying my B12 folate anaemia levels are very low which explains all the symptoms iv had. I'm in the process I making a complaint

  • Gosh shellx that terrible.

    I work in a gp surgery and I do know of 1 patient who has severe fibro and I obviously really resonate with her. I have gone and spoken to a gp I work for in the past, asked him a question on her behalf, she wanted some stronger pain relief and his response when I asked him was 'no she can't she just needs some exercise, that's the best treatment of fibromyalgia '

    As you can see I know GP'S can be so blaghsay about the condition. I remember thinking, well if this is what I have, how on earth can I exercise.

    Good luck with your complaint not enought of us do. We just sit there and take it x

  • Hi allπŸ’– I am new to this forum and so glad I came a cross it honestly was beginning to feel so down. My hr and line manager visited me whilst I was on sick to discuss return to work(twice now as unfortunate l y this flare u really bad off since mid Oct). They said others in our organisation have fibromyalgia and they seem to manage ok. They have referred me to OH, I was hoping the OH would be able to offer support Tec., but also dreading it. They also brought redundancy letter with them (all colleagues have one) but I do enjoy my job. A stressful incident(s) happened and the fibromyalgia just went wild.

    I hope medical professionals including OH really way up on fibromyalgia, nothing makes you lower than someone who does not recognise the condition. A few years ago I was one myself, so payback for me !!!. What a horrid condition. Xxx hope all goes well for you πŸ’•

  • Hope carol789

    I too am new to this I only joined the group and couple of weeks ago and I am so glad i did. I still haven'tbeen diagnosed and I don't seem to get flare ups my condition is pretty much the same all the time. I do have slightly better and slightly worse days but that is changeable on a daily basis.

    I work for a small gp practice so we don't really have a hr dept just my manager and the practice manager. The practice manager has no people skills or compassion at all, to her she's running a business and hasn't come across a chronic illness before so doesn't know how to manage it. I had to go to CAB a while ago to find out my rights but I was in work then and now of course i'm off sick so i'm not sure how things will work.

    Good luckwith your position x

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