Looking forward

Well I survived Christmas, which I was dreading. Ended up at my son's for 2 days in a fibro flare, couldn't face the drive home, especially as that would have been in the house with my soon-to-be-ex husband - not a great prospect! So it was quiet, and not at all Christmassy, which suited me fine.

But now I have 2013 to look forward to, which will be difficult as dealing with all the divorce, financial separation, etc etc and I think that's going to become quite unpleasant probably. But when I come out the other side, I will be on my own, but probably not as lonely as being married to someone who doesn't care, and I will be in a smaller home, so easier to look after, and no compromises, no making the effort to do stuff for the benefit of someone who doesn't deserve it! So, all in all, once the hard bit's done, I think 2013 will be a good year for me. So I am looking forward to it.

And I wish you all a good year, with best possible health, and good family and friends to love you, care about you, and support you.



13 Replies

  • hi Kaz i love your positive attitude , not so easy with so much going on.

    I am sure you are right and 2013 will be your year. Hopefully with less stress your health will improve

    I expect your son loved havingyou there and having a chance to look after you and as you say you got thro it , just imagine how different next xmas will be

    We will be here to support you through the coming months as always

    Take care , warm hugs xx

  • Yes, it was nice to spend time with him, just the two of us, and he cooked etc. we watched a DVD and had fun.

    Thanks for the support, and the hugs.



  • Hope your divorce isn't too acrimonious. As irisjoy says we'll all be here to support you to the best of our ability.

    Wishing you a New Year that is better in every way. Love and hugs Saskia XX

  • Thanks for the kind words and wishes Saskia.

    I hope we can keep it calm and civil, but somehow, I think when it gets down to talking about money, that might all change. Sad if it does, but I'm not going to back down to him ever again, been doing too much of that for too long!

    I just hope we can sell up reasonably quickly and both move on.



  • I'll be sending you positive thoughts, Kaz. Money does cause lots of problems doesn't it but you seem as though you have a good attitude, so I am sure you'll be able to rise above any pettiness on your ex's part. At least you have now got to the point where you feel strong enough to go forward on your own. Good for you. Try to keep strong if you can and if you want to moan, or offload how you feel, feel free. This seems to be a very safe site and it seems that most people are supportive. I haven't been with this group for very long but the impression I have is that we are all struggling in different ways for different reasons but all with Fibromyalgia, so we can all understand and appreciate the difficulties we all face on a daily basis.

    Take great care of yourself, Kaz.

    Hugs from Saskia XX

  • They say money is the root of all evil and normally in a divorce that is just the case. So I am hoping it all stays civil and you come out of the other side a much more content fibromite. Hugs to you xxxxx

  • Thanks for the support. I am confident that I will be ok when I get through the other side. It just feels like a long tunnel between here and there. Got my eyes fixed on that little speck of light, looking forward to reaching it. Glad of all the support I get here.


  • I think we are all glad to have people we can turn to hun. For me it is a godsend as it means hubby has not got to listen to it all the time. But even today, I had forgotten to bring my washing down with me and he did it instead so I am glad of his help, not sure where I would be without that and this site. xxxxx

  • I've been through it Hun and been on my own now for 3 years. I can do what I like when I like, only myself to clear up after (plus the cat!). It can still be a little strange at times but is definitely preferable to being in an unhappy relationship. So hang on in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel xx

  • Thanks Lynn

    I can see the light - it's small and distant at the moment, but it's there! just worried about the traps lurking in the darkness! Ah well, this time next year ..... definitely WON'T be millionaires, but all else will be good I hope, and apart from anything else, I think I will manage the fibro better when I haven't got the never-ending demands on my time, energy, patience etc of living with a high-maintenance man!

    Thanks for your support.



  • No worries hopefully you'll have a better time than I did. We'd been together 25 years, I had to go to court three times whilst still living and working under the same roof and I've never had the courage to add up the Solicitors bills, but I made it through and you will too. I still do a couple of hours a week bookwork for him to help pay for my osteo and reflexology treatments, a necessity thanks to the awful benefits system xx

  • sounds like you ended up civil in the end in spite of the courts. I am assuming he won't contest the divorce (his adultery) and hoping he won't kick up too much fuss over the financial settlement even though I am intending to go for much more (for me) than the 50/50 I think he thinks we'll end up with! But I bailed out his bankruptcy, put more than him into the 'joint pot' at the start of our marriage, gave up my career because of him, and now can't earn much because of the fibro! So, we'll see what we see! I hope we do end up OK with each other afterwards in spite of it all. He has good qualities as well as bad. I'm dreading the solicitor's bills. Just making a start now on trying to get all the information together for them, but it feels like a mountain!

  • sounds like a few similarities there, my ex wouldnt accept how ill I was and I only got fibro diagnoses during the proceedings - his face when I eventually told him I was getting disability benefits was a picture. He has his own business which was in decline at the time, mainly because he stopped working all hours cos of his girlfriend, worked in his favour of course but I came out with enough to put a roof over my head which is what I wanted. Would have been more if we could have settled sooner cos of the solicitors fees so try and keep talking, my problem was he changed history to suit himself and used all mediation attempts to try to intimidate me. Funny enough now he appears to have split with the girlfriend his working hours have increased and the business is improving. I work for him because it makes my life a little easier, he had to admit that he couldn't do what I do (accounts) and to hire somebody else would cost him more plus they wouldn't know the business like I do. He needs me more than I need him so he has to be polite and is always full of gratitude, vastly different to when we were married and must be soo difficult for him lol.

    Good luck with it all and if I can be of any help having been through it don't hesitate to ask xx

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