What an awful tragedy!: I was so... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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What an awful tragedy!

ladymoth profile image
18 Replies

I was so shocked to hear of the suicide of that poor nurse at the hospital where the Duchess of Cambridge was being treated.

She was the victim of a joke - a rather good joke, really - in which absolutely no-one came to the least harm, no earth shattering secrets were revealed, no one was hurt ... and yet she has taken her own life ..why?

Now her family and her poor little children have to deal with this bereavement, the jokers at the radio station have for some perverted reason been branded 'murderers', and I'm sure the Royal couple - like the rest of us - must be pretty saddened about it as well.

All this terrible grief over a prank which would have made most normal people snigger, and maybe have prompted the hospital to be a bit fussier about their switchboard arrangements.

I can only presume that this nurse, poor girl, was already 'on the edge' as you might say. Her life may have been so difficult, so stressful, that this was the straw that broke the camel's back, and she felt that she could no longer cope.

This brings me to my point: why did no-one notice she was so distressed? Why was no-one there to hold her hand and see her through what she perceived as a crisis? Why do we live in such an uncaring society?

It is the same for many members who use this site. They suffer, yet no-one sees. They feel guilty, useless, suicidal even, yet who notices, or really cares?

We of course are not the only ones who suffer alone. There are a great many who endure illness, poverty, bereavement, homelessness and cruelty, yet there is no hand of friendship waiting to cheer them.

Many's the perfectly decent person who will 'pass by on the other side'. Maybe they are too busy, or they have too many problems of their own - or maybe they are too blind to see that there is a problem. If anything at all comes of this sad business, let it be that we might look more kindly on others and be ready to offer a sympathetic word.

We are very fortunate to have this site where we can share our sorrows, have a rant, have a chuckle - even squabble with each other a bit!

It's all these human interactions that make life so vital and worth living - yes,even the squabbles! Let's keep on in there - whatever the ups and downs, what's important is that we are here for each other.

I hope that you all enjoy your Christmas preparations - carry on loving and laughing as well as you can.

Big Christmassy hugs ...Moffy xxx

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ladymoth profile image
ladymoth
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18 Replies
Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Hmm is am afraid I have to disagree on the very first point , I know that if it was me in hospital and someone for a prank decided to try and get my details on how I was I would be upset

the rest I agree with wholeheartedly and my heart goes out to her family.... My OH informs me the two Australian DJ s have been taken off air and I think this is right, this mistake made by the hospital switchboard may have been the straw that broke the camels back for the poor woman and it saddens me that people don't think before they act so many times....

Please don't take this as a dig at you moffy it isnt at all we can't all agree on everything all the time the world would be very boring place if everyone thought the same. And indeed we are lucky to have this site and the volunteers and admin who give up so much of their time to help when for so many it is a lifeline... I know my first blog on here I was in tears and i got much needed support and help from admin volunteers and members ... And the right advice too.

I wouldn't be here so much if I didn't find it so helpful and fun and it's in a large part due to volunteers and admin who keep the site together so well

VGx

ladymoth profile image
ladymoth

Well said, VG, and yes, I think it's perfectly OK to agree to disagree!

Love Moffy xxx

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

So glad I didn't upset you

Hugs VG x

I hope those who carried out this stunt feel ashamed of themselves. Yes it was meant as a joke, but now two children and a partner are without a mother this Christmas. I am sure they didn't mean to cause distress to this lovely nurse, but she obviously didn't feel she could carry on . Maybe there was a underlying problem that none of us were aware of. Whatever my thought sand prayers go out to the family.

Mdaisy profile image
Mdaisy

To all.

I would like to mention something we discussed at Uni about having different opinions and how people see things. I would like to share this with you just because it is interesting and for no other reason, a little story type paragraph.

One lady offered her friend a Strawberry

The friend said 'Thank you but I don't like strawberries'

The lady said ' How can you not like strawberries they are yummy'

She said ' How do you know that the way that you taste strawberry is the same taste I experience it ?'

It was a great lecture that everyone enjoyed !! As we discussed all different cultures, differences between men and women (Venus and Mars book) , young and old etc etc .

Anyway , I am boring I know to find a Uni lecture and debate interesting !!

You can tell me to get out more !!

Emma

Angeldancea812 profile image
Angeldancea812 in reply to Mdaisy

Some of the lectures I attended were very interesting. Even hearing them twice in different settings, the first time in the lecture hall and the second time in a church, was fascinating. No denial of God in the church hall for example.

Mdaisy profile image
Mdaisy

I echo the same thoughts, heart goes out to the family and I think maybe she was under a lot of stress that no one knew about and this was the trigger. So sad .

Akasha72 profile image
Akasha72

I have to agree with Moffy. The poor woman must of had other troubles to find something so minor as a good reason to end her life - especially when she had children.

I wasn't right what the DJ's did and the switchboard staff should have been much more on the ball. Why would the Queen ring in the middle of the night asking about "her grand daughter Kate"! Apart from anything else she isn't the Queen's grand daughter - that should have raised their suspicions straight away and also I've never heard the royal family call her by any other name than Cathrine.

It is only the media that has christened her Kate.

Anyway, that aside I really feel for this poor woman's family and for everyone involved who must be feeling a terrible weight of guilt right now. Losing a loved one at any time is terrible but losing someone at Christmas time makes it a whole lot worse :(

Angeldancea812 profile image
Angeldancea812 in reply to Akasha72

Having seen some of the call reported in the Daily Mail yesterday it is hard to believe anyone could fall for it. It had the Queen asking Charles for a lift to the palace for example!

I do however feel sorry for the family losing a loved one so near to Christmas.

I personally can see Moffy's viewpoint and VG's too on this one. I personally think in spite of this poor woman's stresses (she must have had her own issues she was dealing with as well as this unfortunate situation), she realised what she had done and the potential enormity.

Had this happened concerning a normal member of the public, it would probably have been brushed under the carpet, but it couldn't have been more enormous or more globally public than with Kate. Kate is fact becoming like Princess Diana was, our Princess of Hearts, and I am sure this poor nurse realised the enormity of her breach of confidentiality and how it could escalate and this was more than she could cope with.

My daughter is an Intensive Care Staff Nurse and I remember her telling me about protecting patient confidentiality and having worked in the care sector myself this was instilled into me too. It's one of the basic rules the nurse in question should automatically have been aware of particularly with the World's press pitching camp on the hospital doorstep. Breaching confidentiality is always a serious issue and the ramifications can be enormous - the nurse would have been aware of this sadly.

It is incredibly tragic, my heart goes out to how this poor woman must have felt to take her life. How devastating for her poor family so close to Christmas too, my heart aches for them all. Bless them.

As for the DJ's, rumour has it they won't be permitted to broadcast again, but I think a greater punishment may be their consciences. They have to live with their prank and the tragic consequences that ensued.

sylvi profile image
sylvi

I am appalled that two grown up people think it was funny. It may have been a joke,but i don't se the funny side of it. Now a lady who was good at her job was so mortified that she made a mistake in putting the call through,that she committed suicide. I agre she must have been very stressed to do that,but not everyone has a conscence like that lady did. These people are like j.ross and r,brand who also thought it funny to play a prank over the phone. They are not funny they are juvenile. This is the sort of thing a child would do not two grown people,who will now lose their jobs and the radio station will lose a lot of money through advertising.

A joke is a joke in the right content,but sorry people i didn't find it funny.

SootyB profile image
SootyB in reply to sylvi

Agreed, Sylvi - I suppose they didn't really think they'd be put through, so it seemed like a hoot to them when they actually were. Just goes to show that you should always consider the consequences of your actions before you do something. I believe Derren Brown did an experiment on a studio audience to prove just that.

Good to see you over here, Sylvi! xx

sylvi profile image
sylvi in reply to SootyB

I am still about. I a pain,can't tell whether its fibro/ra. Think it might be fibro. How are you keeping? xxx

SootyB profile image
SootyB in reply to sylvi

Painful, but hobbling on! Have my elbow crutch done up with tinsel and some little bells (you can hear me coming, now!), and planning to turn it into a light saber after Christmas. Hope your pain eases up, and you have a good Christmas! xx

I personally didn't think it was remotely funny either and I am sure the poor woman's family didn't either. What a price to pay for a stupid joke, that wasn't funny in the first place. Just my opinion, of course. So sad, absolutely shocking.

I cannot imagine how the poor woman must have felt when she realised . . . it doesn't bear thinking about how she must have felt with her ultimate decision to end it all. Heartbreaking.

gilford profile image
gilford

as an ex nurse myself (ex due to the fibro) i cant imagine what that poor nurse must have gone through after this incident - having to face her managers, having to face her governing body (NMC) then prob having to get questioned by the security services involved because i can assure you this is what happens. A registered nurse is accountable for everything she does and every decision she makes. Then she must have thought about the fact that if she ever went for another job it would be in her records that she was the nurse who put the dj's through to the ward - confidentiality is a very important factor in nursing and would mean the chances of getting another job would be slim. All for a thoughtless act on them dj's part they pretty much had ruined her career in her mind. There was nothing funny about this incident just tragedy.

Teddysmum43 profile image
Teddysmum43

I absoloutely hate these telephone pranks they make me intensely uncomfortable and i dont find them remotely funny. My heart goes out to the nurse and her family and also kate and william.

phlebo123 profile image
phlebo123

I cannot believe how these Australian DJ's thought that this thoughtless "prank" could possibly be amusing and funny. It just shows what a vast part broadcasting and the media have on our everyday lives. These 2 individuals now have to "live" the rest of their lives with the knowledge of what they caused to happen by their inconsiderate action. (they have not only ruined the lives of the poor nurses family and friends and work colleagues but they have ruined their own lives as well!) Working in an NHS hospital myself I know the intense pressure the nursing staff are constantly under and this one "cruel" event was the "straw that broke the camels back" for this poor nurse. A dreadful, but needless tragedy -- so sad.

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