Fibromyalgia Action UK
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Please can we cancel Christmas? I think I am starting to sound like "Scrooge"

How come when everyone around me is starting to get excited about Xmas I seem to be the only one who is DREADING it? The stress of thinking about it just makes me feel worse. Trying to decide what presents to buy, writing cards, cooking sprouts and turkeys. This is all too much for my "fibrofog" How do you all deal with it? Any suggestions warmly welcomed xx

22 Replies

My name is VG and I,m a christmasholic, how do I cope , as soon as the Christmas things start appearing in the shops (july) I buy an item week by week... Edibles that can be frozen or a shelf life after dec 25th bought my mince pies yesterday sell by date dec 27th they will be munched Xmas day, I only buy for parents and and the three of us,,, the extended family is large and totally out of our budget we all send cheap funny cards by agreement. We only have a christmas tree up so that's easy to manage though it is 6ft and goes up dec 1st, along with advent calendars and advent candle all bought week by week

Ho go go

Mothergrumpmas x


By agreement with the family I only buy presents for my two grandchildren aged 8 and 5 and my younger brothers two children aged 9 and nearly 5. My three grown up kids and me go to my Mum's house, I supply the food, my son cooks it (he is a chef) and my daughters wash up. I bought 2 tubs of chocolates last week (I can't have any as I have recently been diagnosed with diabetes) for everyone to share. I can't have a christmas tree up at home as I have 2 one year old cats who would knock it over, chew it and generally drive me mad trying to keep them off it. We can't have a christmas tree at Mum's as she and my youngest brother who still lives with her have two nine month old Bull Terrier puppies.

So Christmas for me is having a nice meal with my close family and just enjoying their company. This is the third year now that we are not buying presents for everyone, and no-one minds, and no one gets stressed. As my youngest brother says "unless you can buy me a house or a car don't bother because anything else I want I can buy myself".

Bah humbug !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lynne x


My husband has a split family so we would have mine and then his two to buy for. Not even. So we all agreed some years ago to out our names in a hat and spend about £30 on a good present from a list provided. S instead of 12 gifts for oh's families I buy 2!

On my side I buy for parents, brother and my grandparents (just one set and they always ask for same thing!) everyone else gives me a list and I order via websites (large reliable ones...don't want stress). Last year I tried to visit everyone and spent 27th December curled in a ball screaming. This year I am having Xmas with just my OH and my brother who is alone at Xmas after his fiancé left him this summer. We intend to get drunk and watch doctor who!

Then on 27th this year instead of screaming I'm going away for a week to a remote Scottish island and going to get fat on local cheese.



Hi it is time to make lists the soonwer you make them the easier it is. Plan your shopping and your gifts it sounds like the more planning the easier it will be. So sit with a drink and a pad of paper and have a go.

Everyone is different at how they tackle it but at the ed of the planning it is one day for giving and eating and sharing so I hope you enjoy it as much as I do I luvs it xgins


plan ahead dont leave it till the last minute and only buy for people you need too....and every year me and a very dear friend go out to find the most ugly crappy xmas card you can buy and we have a competition every year I won last year lol so she has her work cut out this year...I am not one for xmas but this year I am making the effort and I will enjoy it so me and hubby have got £15 each to go and get each other 15 £1 presents each just for a laugh so have got excited mind you cheated a little as went to the gadget shop in worcester and got him a pair of boobs they are about 5cm at the mo but he has to grow them lol dont tell him but they were £4.99 haha cant wait to see his face..just make the most of xmas and enjoy yourself and get every one envolved..xxxvikki


i make a list of who i want to buy for,then mini lists of ideas for each one. decide if getting any or all online. then spend 1 day each trawling the net for what i want for each one. one day was my nephew in the morning. his girl in the afternoon. son was easy. he had told me what he wanted so no need for lists as only 1 was my daughters. my godmother,was another day along with my grandaughter, my sis and one of my dog parents,grandparents to buy for now. still have bro in law,2 other dog walkers,(2 give their services free all year as volunteers with the cinnamon trust),and something small for the parents of the professional one who have also taken Hugo in emergencies on more than one occasion for nothing. all those i will get in town next week when i go with my sis and her future daughter in law to the Victorian market being held there. (online shopping doesnt give you the christmas spririt quite like going round the shops does but as im limited to how much i can do in that respect, most is done online except those i dont want to spend too much on ...or rather cant afford to)


I'm dreading it too, although i love christmas. we've got into the habit of buying a chicken a ocuple of weeks before christmas and defrosting it to cook for our christmas dinner. we prefer that to turkey.

we also buy a ham early and freeze that for our new year dinner, as the price goes up ridiculously for christmas/new year. money is tight, so small things like that and planning ahead make all the difference.

The worst part for me is doing christmas cards, I hate them. but I have also discovered that if you go out in early january and buy them in the post christmas sales they are but a fraction of the cost, for really nice cards, so again, some money saved there.

we get a real tree in, and in the past it has created a huge mess of needles, but last year i decided to put it in our dining room (right by the back door) which hugely cut down on mess, so we'll do that again this year. we'll spend most of the day in there anyway, so no point having the tree in the living room!

hubby and i have exchanged lists of what we desire, and we just choose a couple of things to buy for each other, and the kids...well the oldest one has a list of books and art supplies she wants, the small ones haven't really got anything they want or need.

we also have kids birthdays in early december and january, so we need to have everything all planned and sorted before that.

lists are my friends.

also sale shopping all year round. i have a stash of things in my present drawer already, just need to top it up.

also need to get things ready for the post office this week, to send to my family in nz and australia.

I find having a job or list of jobs to get done by a certain date is a good way to get things done - i'm only letting myself down if i don't get them done, and i know that by doing them i'm making mife easier for myself.

also, if you need help with organisation, check out, she has a special run up to christmas to-do list which is very helpful, and motivational.


Easy ... I'm allergic to christmas. I HATE everything connected to christmas, yes, that even included the seasonal Cocoa Cola advert.

Reason ... well too many to list and far to depressing but the two main ones (still depressing as they are) are I've lost 4 babies and finally gave up hope with the last one after I nearly died myself. Reason number 2 is my Mum passed away on 29th November. Her last wish was to beat the cancer until xmas and make xmas dinner - she so nearly got there.

So the very mention of the thing that happens at the end of the year has my blood running cold. The last remnants of my family get together and fall out for two days and I feel like the spare part wishing I was anywhere else but watching the forced jovality and fall outs.

Last year I had the day alone with my dog and the telly ... I didn't bother with the tree - it stayed in it's box in the loft ...the plan this year. Exactly the same.

Misrable? me? fairysnuff I don't care lol :P

Humbug Humbug


I am with you akasha .. I never have enjoyed christmas even as a child all that glitter and hard work for two days nah ... Sorry not for me .. Make it worse my mum passed on boxing day a few years back .. I would sooner spend time with friends and family throughout the year .. Tonight we are at a quiz with our and oh sisters family ...



sorry to sound like scrooge, but I hate Christmas and wish it would be cancelled!

I was just reading the other thread about the lady behind the kiosk in the shop moaning coz she had (or not as the case may be) to dress up for children in need… Why cant christmas be cancelled and everything you were going to waste on just two days in the year be given to charity! I dont mean go without, but im talking about all h unnecessary luxuries that the shops seem to think we NEED!!!!

I wonder how many homeless people will still not even have someone to talk to on Christmas day, mind you some even with homes are alone, with no family or close friends to share it with…. i dont mean to come across as scrooge, you all deserve a treat and why not, but I do think Christmas has lost its true meaning…… and thats coming from someone who isnt even a christian. I have decided not to send hardly any Christmas cards this year. If anyone thinks they have ben forgotten they will just have to blame the Royal Mail. If you buy a box of cards for £XX? and then each card cost a minimum of 50p to post, but be careful any amount of embellishment on that card like a small bow or gem will make it not go throw that pesky slot in the post office, then the next minimum cost to post will be 69p second class times however many you normally post…. for me that used to be about 70 to 80 cards, add all that up and wouldn't it be better off being given to a charity to provide hot food and a warm bed for someone and keep them safe.

Sorry to get carried away….. I dont really object to whatever you do, as i said you all deserve a treat but so much get wasted at christmas, maybe think before you buy, or get the family/friends together and decide on a set amount to spend…. im not really scrooge but because of the postage I have decided to give the money to charity instead. xxx


here here. I've said the same regarding cards. My cousin lives in Melbourne, Australia. To send a card to her it will cost me over £5. No way am I spending £5 on something that ends up in the bin come Jan 2nd.


How do I cope with Xmas? Let me see. I leave it all to hubby, that way things are bound to go right. All I actually have to do is buy him a present for his birthday(21st) and a present for Xmas, even better, he tells me what he wants and my daughter picks it up for me. SO all I have to do is stuff my face and then sleep it off, job done xxxxx


Nice one Ozzygirl!

I go to my mum for Christmas as I would spend it on my own otherwise-worse than usual as you think everyone else is having a fine time enjoying themselves. I do feel sorry for those who have lost loved ones around this time or earlier this year and we tend to spend a few moments thinking about my brother who died at the untimely age of 33, several years ago, and is still missed. My mum, her husband and I don't decorate but have a meal together and are just as happy the day after, when many are getting over the seasonal over-doing it fest as we were on the day itself. I always tell myself it is only one day of the year and am amazed that so many other people shop as if it was their last chance to eat anything.I enjoy the chance to see family again, living roughly 5 hours apart. It is just as easy to relax there as it is at home.


Christmas used to depress me for quite a long time and one particularly bad year I lost my Mum on the 16th December, started miscarrying on 2nd Jan, losing the baby a week later at 19 weeks and a few days after I got out of hospital a call came to say my partner's Dad had died! However, once my son was born, I had to start making an effort to enjoy Christmas for his sake and while I still take time out to remember all the family members I've lost around Christmastime, I then try to enjoy spending time with the family I still have.

This year has really worried me because money is tighter than its ever been, so some presents are being cut back, some have been bargain hunted and quite a few will be home made. I have quite a lot of craft supplies and have managed to make all my Christmas cards without buying anything and the same with my home made presents - that way I clear some of my craft clutter too. I've also set up a spreadsheet based on last years christmas card list to print address labels for this years cards to save my hands as I'm having so much trouble with them right now. My biggest worry is my 6 year old niece, she's set her heart of one of my bears for Christmas and I don't know how I'm going to get it done... I have the supplies but my hands are going to struggle with all that sewing - sigh.


hi, I've had a thought reading your post. Have you heard of Hand-eze gloves? I have a pair myself that I got several years ago. I'm pretty sure they're still available and I would've thought you'd get them in craft shops. They basicly put mild pressure on the hands and eze pain. I always wear mine if I'm doing any sewing.

I've just had a quick look online and they are still available :)


Thanks I'll see if I can find some. Seen the physio today and she's ordered me some better crutches and recommended I get referred for nerve conduction tests. So hopefully things will eventually improve but in the meantime I'll take whatever help I can get :) xxx


hate christmas too,its just an occasion for people to overspend just fro 2 days of brotehr has finally agreed with me NOTto get presents for each other this is just anotehr normal day-getting up to walk the dogs and watch tv.


Don't start me off about Xmas. I've hated it for years now since I split from my ex husband and then loosing my mum two years ago nearly. I try and be jolly for the kids,put up a tree and do the pressies thing. My family are a waste of time,they send cards and pressies but I never see or hear from them other than that and do you know what I would much rather hear from them in the year than get a card and a gift token,would mean so much more!!

I hate the adverts on tv for Xmas and always turn the sound down. After having lunch with my kids Xmas day they go their dads at tea time for a week and then I don't see anyone,it's very lonely :(


Look on the bright side (like I try to cos it's just as lonely in my house) You own the remote control and there's no-one to give you a 'look' when your working your way through a tin of roses all by yourself lol


He he this is very true Akasha! Actually I'm just wondering what I could do to make things a bit better this year,I may go up to our local dogs home during the Xmas week and walk a dog. May as well make things a bit brighter!


go for it ... I'm sure the rescue centre will love you for it :)


Great idea Teddysmum43 -- I always find taking our dog for a walk always lifts my spirits :) x


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