I was tasked through my counselling to develop an image that I could use to refer to myself more positively - it was a few weeks ago ... when I started going I had a belief that I was 'faulty' for my health to be so awful - the grieving process of 'why me?' and the view that all the negative things in my life were weighing me down. After giving it much thought, over the weeks I have built on my initial view of myself as a 'tree'.
A tree that has some age to it (46 years) and therefore like a tree, developing many branches.
The branches in my mind are my experiences. Some good, some bad, some ugly, and some amazing and wonderful.
When I consider the whole tree, the branches that are associated with my fibro are certainly not a sum of the whole tree - and I am made up of a wide range of experiences and knowledge that has come from all of them.
I had a long walk with the dog today - in the beautiful autumn sunshine. I am grateful that today I can walk that far. I am grateful that I have a reason to walk out in the sunshine. I was very grateful that I have and chose to wear wellies!
Whilst walking I saw many trees, all colours, some with most of their leaves, lots with half of their leaves on the ground - making the autumnal carpet. I got to thinking, when a tree loses it leaves, they are gone, and past - ready for new ones. Some of my experiences are one's that I would choose to lose - and never have again. I can drop those leaves on the ground and need not relive those - because life doesn't stand still - and there are always new branches, buds and leaves waiting to come to visible life - but they are always there..... just waiting. If I hold on to the old experiences, there isn't the space for the new one's. Some will be positive, some won't - but I don't need to hold onto what has passed.
I then spotted the tree that is my photo today. I thought it was an unusual shape for a tree, but then - (and my final thought of the day), I thought, so are we. We are all unique. We are all special. Our leaves are made of many different colours, shapes and experiences. But they are all beautiful in their own way, unique and special. We all have many experiences, and these make our knowledge so wide and so varied. These are our strong branches and leaves, and this is what makes us so individual and wonderful.