Live and let live....this may not mak... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

Fibromyalgia Action UK

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Live and let live....this may not make me popular but....

26 Replies

Perhaps it is just me but I feel rather uncomfortable with some of the blogs and comments that have been posted lately. One of the reasons that I loved following this forum is because of its wonderful uplifting, supportive nature and the tolerance and understanding of those who comment. It is easy to cast judgement upon others but it seems to me that sometimes we don't always have the full picture and don't know all the circumstances that might cause people to act the way they do. We are happy to complain when ATOS, GPs, consultants and others of that ilk pass judgement on us without showing an understanding or even a willingness to understand our individual needs and circumstances so perhaps we should learn from that and try to see folks as individuals who have their own problems, rather than being quick to blame, judge and point the finger.

Addiction of any kind is a dreadful burden to carry and can be caused through a genetic predisposition as well as all kinds of trauma. It is not always a choice made through free will.

As for 'foreigners' , well most of us in the UK are descended from people who invaded our country from other shores and I doubt that some of them were made very welcome. We don't always know the circumstances which bring people to our country but we do know that for at least some of them they leave behind the dreadful circumstances and family members who will be much missed.

I don't mean to preach or lecture but I think life is tough for everybody and we should practice the tolerance and understanding that we expect others to show us.

Wishing you all a peaceful and as much as a pain free week as possible. Jane x

26 Replies

Thank you for posting your comments Jane. We are in the process as I type of bringing the issue you mention to the forefront to ensure that all our members are aware that racism is not acceptable in our community and is indeed against our Guidelines.

We actively encourage all our members to report to Admin any post they consider to be racist or offensive so we may take the appropriate action.

Whilst we are all entitled to our opinions, we all have to bear in mind the feelings of others, also to be tolerant of all cultures, religions, nationalities etc. We have members from all around the World and we value each and every one the same.

Please be assured that we will do everything in our power here at FibroAction to ensure tolerance and understanding of all human beings irrespective of their background, irrespective of their story.

If any member has any concerns, please do not hesitate to contact Admin, we are always only too happy to help, reassure and support.

Thank you :)

Liberty

Admin

in reply to

Hi Liberty, thanks for your quick response. However, I did not wish to 'report' anyone. If I were to do so then it would make me as intolerant as them! I believe in free speech but I also believe in the power of debate. Clearly not everybody agrees with my personal perspective and that is fine. I just wish to disassociate myself from them by making a plea for tolerance. Jane x

in reply to

With respect to all of the private and open messages here concerning the original blog please can we have this blog removed in entirity .it has created far too much stress already.. the site and members can not have it only their one way and it is extremely unfair that the original blog and comments and others relating in support of the members that have now left have been deleted and this one remains insitu... Dissassociation from all of this for all would be a much more positive vein. Thank you.

Hi ive,never been racist or offensive to anyone nor ever would.

I will always support and treat people with respect on here.

And i totally agree with you.xx

in reply to

Thanks Sammy. You are right, mutual respect is essential in our complex multicultural society.Jane x

Hi what a shame I have never read any of those blogs

And I for one would not want to.

Sorry that you have been upset I know that people

In here are mainly lovely and very supportive

So take no notice of these people they are just

The ignorant few

Love viv

in reply to

Thanks Viv. Many of us with Fibro including myself, know what it is like to be discriminated against so perhaps that is why I am quick to jump to the defence of those without a voice. Jane x

Dixiesdaughter profile image
Dixiesdaughter

Hi jane havent been on here in a while and have just started reading blogs again I would have to say that ive seen a few comments which relate to the sentiments about which you speak. Thank you for having the courage to highlight this issue and Im sure as you say it will be unpopular with some but racism and comments against those with addictions should be challanged as they are offensive and should have no place on this site.

Kind regards

Dixie x

in reply to Dixiesdaughter

Thanks Dixie. It is good to know that I am not alone in my thoughts on the subject. Hope you are feeling better after your op and that your family are also recovering from their health issues. Jane x

in reply to Dixiesdaughter

No reason for it to be unpopular Dixie, we all have to be tolerant of each other here and support each other irrespective of circumstances, religion, culture, background, nationality etc. :) I am sure the majority of our members will fully support this view. :)

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

What have I missed .....the only recent rant I can find is over a joint of meat.... On second thoughts perhaps it's better I don't know ....

Anyway goodnight to everyone I am feeling good today and am off to burrow in my bed

Hugs VG x

Dixiesdaughter profile image
Dixiesdaughter

Thanx jane im fully recovered after my op and am back at work. Tonys condition is still critical but currently stable, he is receiving dialysis at home on a nightly basis and is currently very high upon transplant list and the seach for suitable donors is in progress with many family members being screened for suitability. Its a long process and an exhausting one for both tony and claire but were doing all we can as a family to lighten the load :-) hope your keepin well take care

Dixie x

julieevh profile image
julieevh

I'm very pleased the racist, and any other insensitive or wrong comments, have been cleaned up.

It is not acceptable. But lets face it sometimes the pain is so bad, our patience has worn thin, we are at the end of our tether and we go off on a rant which, in the cold light of day, we realise was uncalled for or even offensive. It happens; it shouldn't but it does because we are stressed and human and we make mistakes. I'm not giving anyone a license to offend but just saying that we sometimes need to be quicker to forgive than we are to judge.

Hope I haven't offended anyone! I guess I'm just saying let's be nice to each other.

Julie xx

in reply to julieevh

Your understanding does you credit Julie. You always show such kindness and wisdom in your posts and comments. Unfortunately though there were a few posts and comments over the weekend that I felt needed some form of address. Yes, our pain can lead us all to say things that we wish we had not, especially on a public forum but if nobody objects then it has to be assumed that everybody agrees. It seemed to me that there were certain sections of our society that were being attacked and being the liberal minded person that I am, I felt very uncomfortable about it.

Anyway, it would seem that the issues have been resolved and I hope not too heavy handidly. I will always speak up for the underdog and those who have no voice to defend themselves, I couldn't live with my own conscience if I failed to do so, but it was never my intention to cause controversy. Jane x

julieevh profile image
julieevh in reply to

I agree there wasway too much of all this horribly offensive stuff - lets hope lessons have been learned and the forum gets back to normal ASAP xx

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing

Morning Guys what on earth happened? No I don't need to know . Just every one remember we are all in the same boat and the most important qualities we have are Love Forgiveness Charitableness Hope and the well -fair of each other. I hope I have never unwhittingly upset any one with any of my comments. This site is so good cause we are all here for one another so please put this aside and return to normal xgins

in reply to Ginsing

I don't think that you could ever upset anybody gins. If everybody had your outlook on life the world would be a much nicer place for us all to live in. Your posts fill me with hope, joy and humbleness (unlike some of the comments posted over the weekend). Take care and look after that bad leg. Jane x

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing in reply to

Thanks Hun xgins

SootyB profile image
SootyB

Blimey - have I missed something again? Every time I go off for a few days, it seems that something major happens! Hope everything is cleared up now, though. It is very easy to jump at things and make assumptions, or even to report back something that you've read or heard about without making it clear that it's not your own viewpoint, and it can very quickly cause offence.

Sara xx

Hi Sara, I'm afraid I found some posts and comments a bit much over the weekend with some parts of our society being given a bit of 'verbal bashing''. I did ignore it at first but then more comments were being made along the same lines and I couldn't bite my tongue any more. It is inevitable that political views will be expressed on any kind of forum but any kind of extremist language really needs to be kept in check. We live in a complex world and it is sometimes all too easy to rush into making judgements that are best left unspoken. If we want to receive tolerance and understanding from others we need to practice it ourselves. Supporting the underdog has got me into all sorts of trouble in the past and no doubt it will again in the future but by not saying anything I felt I was condoning attitudes that I find abhorrent. Let's hope we have all learned from the experience and can move on to be the happy, supportive and great site that we all so desperately need to keep us sane. Jane x

FionaP profile image
FionaP

Hi Jane.

I saw quite a few comments on a post in the early hours of this morning and posted a message much the same as you have put.

I am happy that the post has been taken off. But, it was there for far too long and there were many discriminatory posts by the time I came to read it.

It is a shame when we have to fight for so much, benefits, understanding... that some feel it necessary to attack other groups. Do they honestly think our situation would get better if others were not supported? History shows us that it would in fact get worse and we would easily become even more intolerant. Thank you for posting this blog,

Best wishes. Fi xx

in reply to FionaP

Thanks Fi, they are my sentiments entirely. I hate to cause controversy of any kind and think it a great shame that some folks have decided to leave the site as a result but lets hope for more tolerance to be shown in future. The grass may look greener for others in society but those of us who have been around for a while know that it usually isn't. Life is tough for everybody and especially tough for some. Jane x

Being as the original post was deleted by admin so people can not now see what exactly happened I think this post should be deleted also as it relates to the same situation which has caused so much stress... Tolerance and respect is a two way street.

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he’ll be a mile away - and barefoot." .

LindseyMid profile image
LindseyMid

***No more comments on this thread please.***

??? Delete please??? with respect Thank you x

tinkerfae profile image
tinkerfae

i like this site and i agree we if someone has a problem with something thats not related to the sites nature the should bit there tounge. everybody has a right to thier own opinion but we dont always need to publisise it or make others feel uncomfortable. sometimes it has to be said, we are all human and here we are all fibros so we should be sticking together, strength in unity,xxx

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