I got my tattoo (picture attracted) her name is Arelie, she stopped me self harming after 4 years and so, I decided after everything she deserved permanent life.
However, deciding to abuse the legal drinking age factor has brought on some rather ill effects as it were. Mainly being agonising pain, everywhere and the inability to consume enough oxygen that might be seen as a stereotypically 'safe' level :')
But on the brighter side, Mel really brought Arelie to life and had made this weekend even bbetter then I could have ever imagined
It wad also made so much better by spending the night in a hotel with my beautiful girl after seeing a meteor shower and spending 7 hours sitting on a bench drinking with my closest friends after an INSANE day at college with cake from my best friend. Really reinstated my faith in humamity<3
Things are looking up as Mrs Williams would say
Written by
Berthy
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The past year or so has really helped me sort out my real friends from the 'duds' as it were, with the diagnosis and slippery slope from 'normal teenager' into 'disabled teenager' and that night really brought me up from the depths of depression, I'm still on ahigh from it now! It's brilliant
I have some fantastic friends yeah, they're brilliant
Happy Birthday Beth! I turned 18 about 3 months ago..suprised at how fast time has gone - I've learnt so much myself in this past year.
I can totally relate to what you're saying here. Certainly I've discovered that it's when you're at your lowest, you find out who your true friends are - the ones you stick around. From the 'duds' as you say - people who come and go as they choose, but on the whole, ignore you.
Been in really low places recently but it's really opened my eyes.. I don't know why I didn't realise before. But from the support of my true friends - who I'm so greatful for, I'm feeling better.
TC & keep smiling. xxx
..Love the tattoo BTW! It's beautiful. Infact thinking of getting one myself atr some point. Also a purple butterfly on my wrist - (purple is the international fibro colour, and a butterfuly is symbolic of hope)
Silly question but does it hurt? Some people who have them say they killed and others say they felt nothing - I don't know who to believe! (Especially as I'm wondering if the tenderness associated with Fibro makes it worse.)
I'm the same! Although I've found that not many other then a few select close friends have really matured to the level I'm at - then again I was always 'old before my time'
Happy birthday for three months ago - I hope you had an awesome time
Oh yeah, I've got rid of the crap basically, for lack of a better term. But people at college that I can't really get away from unless I drop out (which I REALLY don't want to do) are really getting on my nerves at the moment.
The only people I can really tollerate are people that are above my own age, which makes me seem like a horrible person, I know but still
I know what you mean, if you ever need someone to talk to about anything, I'm always here I'm glad you're feeling better; really glad
I never stop xxx
Yeah, I'm impressed with the way everything to do with fibro has been tied in with it, I didn't even really consider fibro whtn designing it - simply the intended reason, but I'm glad it all fits in
The lines and writing hurt yes - but it's bearable (as long as you have someones hand there to hold!) and it's well worth it
I'm not gunna lie and say it doesn't hurt - bcause it does. But it depends how much you want the tattoo and how high your pain threshold is really
The fibro doesn't appear to have made any difference to the healing process or the pasin or anything fortunately <3
I'm exactly the same again Dad always said to me, right from when I was about 11, 'I think you get on better with adults'.
I'm at the sixthform right now, a year behind - with the current year 13s (I would have left last year), which is good in one way because like you, I didn't get on so well in my old year group - but most of them have moved on and I now have the chance to talk to and get to know people from the new year - they all seem really nice. Don't worry I'm the same, other than a small group of friends (and they seem to have shrunk since finding out who my true friends are, but never mind) I find it harder to get on with people my own age, I don't know why, some (not all) are immature I guess. Some I just don't have much in common with, which is fine, it happens. And I think sometimes, when I'm trying to make a point about something, I can be a bit misunderstood in what I saying and what I actually mean.
Thankyou! And same to you as well - I've been told that I'm a really good listener. I'm super glad you're feeling good recently. I'm a little up and down at the moment because lots has happened in our family - but there's hardly ever a time when I don't have at least one thing I can appreciate or smile about. I will be smiling even wider when my braces come out in a few weeks.
It all seems like a happy coincidence. Thankyou for being honest with me. Tbh I think most of the people who say that it doesn't hurt, usually boys I've found, are just trying to be seen as 'hard' one of my 'duddy' friends (except at the time I didn't think he was duddy - more I didn't want to believe it, because I've known him for 5 happy years and he's only changed recently), said that he doesn't find it painful, but he reckons that just by looking at me he thinks I will wimp out and not be able to cope with the pain of getting one! Btw he doesn't do anything about my Fibro and all I've had to cope with with that (he's missed chunks of my life, which he enters & leaves at his own accord), he made just made a judgement. So I want to prove -just to myself, that I can live with it, and have it there to symbolise all the pain/strength/hope associated with these last few years. I'm determined enough. Many people have told me that I'm very strong minded and relentless, if I have to be, and this means a lot to me.
Parents calling me for tea now so better end this. Message me if you need anything. Also, thanks for the reassurance about the Fibro, just wanted to be sure. <3 xx
I know exactly what you mean, but my parents have also pointed out (as I already knew well) that I have grown up increasingly over the past year or so because I know I was a typical unbearable teenager in that sense, moodswings etc. But what they were unaware of was that I had lost three of my closest friends through suicideyover two years - admittedly telling them hat would probably have aided their understanding but, I was stubborn and DETERMINED to get through everything on my own. Obviously one of my best thought out ideas! XD
Well, I hope you will ALWAYS find a reason to smile, you deserve at least that. ooh, great! I've always fancied having braces and was incredibly envious of all the friends around me what got them whilst I didn't (in my defence it wasn't for lack of trying every time I went to the dentists) but then I discovered the agony people went through when they were tightened - maybe not quite worth the aesthetic enhancement! :')
I must say you seem like a lovely person and yes, strong minded but certainly well thought out and mature, but having said that it's utterly dependant on how much you want something or want to prove a point. I mean I've had my lip pierced twice, got he first done behind my parents back purely because they said I couldn't and that got terribly infected but I point blank REFUSED to take it out and then decided to get some piercing needles and do abother one myself (now that really WAS a poorly thought out idea, I pierced a vein and had to go to a&e looking like a vampire xD then again, there's worse things I could look like!) I then stretched my ears which oddly enough, also helped me with stopping self harming but eah and kept stretching them despite the agony I went through - mainly because I could, and of coruse because my parents tried to stop me again I also got two dermal piercings put in my chest because I wanted something others didn't have and I'm forever ripping them out! And they're rejecting rather fabulously but again - im not taking them out! And of course, my most recent addition; the beautiful Arelie who by the way has scabbed and healed her way into an even more stunning little girl
Im sorry it took me so long to reply, there has been rather a lot of drama in my life recently involving college and 'friends' again, but if you ever need me - just message. Sounds odd, but it'd be nice to talk to someone regularly who has fibro that is my own age if you know what I mean?
Any help you want with tattoos, piercings or hair dying I can help with! And a substantial amount if other things but they're my passions
Hope you've kept well, Beth <3 xx
Happy Happy Birthday ~ I love butterflies.. a sign of new beginnings,flying free and of strength emerging.. well done you... x
Thank you! That's exactly what Arelie means to me - I've wanted her from when I first discovered The Butterfly Project and first adorned my wrist with her so it was massive for me ^^ Thankyou
Belated happy birthday, oh to be eighteen again lol. Love the tattooo, I am 60 and really fancy having one done, I might just get it done now.Best wishes
Belated Happy Birthday xxx everything we do has an impact on our welbeing but sometimes we have to make a choice and take the pain!!!! Occasionally it's worth it.... Now rest x
You have got amazing strengths and the butterfly will fly through life with you.
My mum loves butterflies so do i !! She has them on her curtains and anywhere she can. I too have them on pic frames , lamps etc. its my mums bday this Thusday and lady is making a cake with my mum in the pond with a butterfly on her head and frogs . I will post a pic when it arrives lol.
I have a bow tattoe with ribbons top of my back ( had done on my 40th ) 3 yrs ago and still got alll the finishing touches to do with streams of stems with butterflies and hearts to put initials in. down my back as cannot see unless abroad in bikini haha
Awwh, that sounds lovely! Please do! I would love to see
That sounds lovely, I had all of mind done in one sitting and it only took half an hour, I was impressed! Well, there's worse things you could be wearing to ensure someone could see it
I certaintly will be This is the happiest I've been in months
Happy Birthday!!! your very brave to have a tattoo, i don't have the guts, i hate needles!! ejoy yourself, but remember to take it easy to! enjoy this time of life it's magical and may change your world altogether.... hugs charlotte :-)) x
It hurt less getting the tattoo then it did self harming, which was the reason for the tattoo, so I can't really complain Plus, you don't actually see the needles, simply the ink on the end of the tattoo gun
I'm relishing every second I have whilst I can still function to some level of stereotypical normality
I used to do this myself, Beth, and it takes so much courage to stop, and to not give in when the world is against you and start up again. My boyfriend made me promise to stop 2 years ago, and he knows I can't break a promise to someone I love, so I stopped, but it's hard sometimes.
I know what you mean, I mainly stopped for my mum after I realised how much it was killing her knowing her little girl was having to cut herself in order to deal with everything the world was throwing at her - so I guess this is dedicated to her really
Its a beautiful tattoo berthy. I noticed you gave it a name - is it a "living" tattoo, or is Arelie a friend? A colleague of mine had a really bad time a few years ago. Once it was over and she began to recover she had a tattoo done which she believed had it's own personality, and was in a way something to talk to and almost get therapy from.
She would tell me that the tattoo would tell her to stop feeling bad, and remind her of why she made a decision to change. I think I must have been the only person who didn't think she was nuts :-). I think its a wonderful way of celebrating a change in your life, and if it helps you it can only be a good thing.
I have a couple of gekkos running up my left shoulder, and although I have not made them into the big design I originally decided upon, they are still a reminder of events in my life at that time.
She's called Arelie because it means bravery, courage, strength and beauty - all of the things she represents to me. I used to self harm, a LOT, I did it for around 4/5 years for various reasons and was told to look into a group called The Butterfly Project, it's a group that I am now a large part os, where you draw a butterfly on your wrist (or wherever you're cutting at the time) and as long as he/she is there, they are alive, but if you cut, you kill them, and I never killed Arelie and never ever will, so I decided to get her pout above my scars, because that's what she's above now Yeah, this is something similar, although it's a group on Facebook where you can talk to other members and just get support and help when you're at your lowest points, she's saved my life more then once and I felt I owed her permanent life at the least
She symbolises everything I believe I am now and everything I had to access within myself to fight the addiction I had dug myself into, the cutting and people think she's there to cover my scars, but it's quite the opposite (for one you can still see them through the tattoo), it is simply to show what she's over and above now But yes I agree, I've heard of people that have done that after a loss or similar problems wihth grief and such, I think it's a fantastic idea Plus, the pain I went through o get my tattoo now I'm no longer that depressed, reminded me just what I really went through in the first place to make those scars - part of me wanted to hate myself for having done it, but I'm proud of my scars and am now even prouder of my tattoo, she's my light in the darkness now Simply proof that things will ALWAYS get better, no matter what
I know people have certain reservations attatched to tattoos, regret and such later on in life, but I aspire to become a tattoo artist at some point (much to the dismay of my college tutors) because in my eyes, you are creating a living art piece, something that lives, breathes, ages and changes with the persons body - I just think that's amazing! Something really not properly apprechiated by those who 'hate' them, despite never having one, ahh well, I shall conquer the world one by one!
i love the tattoo it's beautiful xx enjoy your friends they are extremely important x take care and gentle hug for today as you are feeling the effects of yesterday xx
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looking after my grandaughter x
What the....?
gonna hurt in the morning
