Monday was a really down point for me and left me feeling in a right old mess as anyone who read my last blog post will be able to tell!
I have spent the last few days when not in work in the corner of the sofa with my hoody on and the hood up! sounds strange but for me this is like a comfort blanket sort of thing, the hood up mean the rest of the world is shut out and i dont have to think about anything.
i spent the day with my friend today who had a rare mid week day off and she made it very clear she did not want to waste a day off by having me moaning and sulking ( this sounds harsh but she knows me so well she knew this would help me pull myself together a bit ) it worked and i have had a lovely day with her although at the back of my mind i still knew i wasnt quite right but i havent felt the need to rely on my hoody and shut everything out today which for me i think is good. i havent quite put it to the back of the wardrobe yet but im feeling more positive that it will get back there soon!
i am going to see how i get on over the weekend and if i dont feel any improvement i am going to get to the doctors on monday although the thought of this scares me!
for me the fact that the depression has finally got hold of me makes me feel a bit weak ****please dont anyone take offence by this. I am talking about me personally not everyone who has had or still has depression this is purely how depression makes ME feel not how i view people with depression *****
i know as soon as i come out the other side if this i will feel like the strongest person in the world and i cant wait for that feeling, i just hope it comes around soon!!
thank you to everyone for your support, it is very appreciated and very needed!