Any other lone parents with fibro out there?

[haribo36]

Hi all,iam seperated from my husband and have two kids.I have had fibro since 2005.Was wondering if there were any other mums with fibro out there on this site who are having to cope with fibro and bringing kids up on there own as i would love to hear from you with any tips,experiences,or anything on how you cope.I now get assistance from social services and i have a personal assistant who helps me with my day to day things i struggle with x

[barnsleysar]

Hi Jane,i was diagnosed in 2005 when i was 24 but had sympoms for a while before.

i'm a lone parent to a (nearly) 3 yr old girl. I split with her late dad before she was born so coped alone. I have very little support as my own parents passed away yrs ago and my nan who raised me is in her 80's now.

I have just found that taking each day as it comes is the best way to cope, trying not to burn yourself out with kids is hard even with a healthy parent. If the house needs hoovering and i'm struggling, then it doesnt get done. as long as my daughter is fed clean and watered then anything else can wait till i have the energy to do it. I am lucky that i have a few really good close friends who have seen me at my worst and they offer to take my girl out or do bits in the house (they dont even ask anymore they just do it as they know i'll tell them i'll do it later or i refuse their help!!)

I do get help from the council funded 2 steps forward scheme where my daughter gets 15 hrs funded daycare a week to give me a rest but other than that i just manage.

gentle hugs to you xx

[haribo36 in reply to barnsleysar]

Hi there,thanks for your comments.You are very lucky to have such good friends.Unfortunately i don`t have any friends where i live and i have to rely on my personal assistant to help me.I ALSO get funding from social services for my 3 year old to have extra hours at the nursery he attends for pre-school.He stays an extra 2 hours a day on top of his pre-school block and does a long day on a tuesday.However i feel so guilty that he is there and not at home but it really helps me alot.I don`t even do much housework now as i pay someone from my DLA money to do cleaning every week,i also feel guilty about that.Why is it that having fibro makes you feel so guilty about everything?

[barnsleysar in reply to haribo36]

Hi Jane, i honestly dont know what i'd do without my friends they are a godsend and only way i can thank them is to send flowers now and again direct to their houses as they wont accept anything directly from me, they just say they do what my parents would be doing if they were here. I used to feel guilty about taking my daughter to nursery but she has come on so much since january with how socialable & talkative she has become i now see it as a godsend, plus i get to just relax knowing that she is being stimulated and looked after so thats a bit of a bonus!

if ever you want to chat just pm me

hugs sarah x

[haribo36 in reply to barnsleysar]

Hi there,thanx for your reply.It means alot to me to know that iam not the only one.Yes i wud love to chat sometimes,iam in the thro`s of moving at present so things are quite stressful.And i haven`t even started packing yet lol!Hows your fibro at the moment?

[julieevh]

I'm pretty ancient (53 lol) but have my 18 year old daughter with me (she is doing A levels) - if it wasn't for the fact my elder daughter, her partner and the baby are lodging with us I would seriously struggle.

I don't have any helpful hints really - when I was younger the only way of achieving a work/family balance was to survive on 4 hours sleep a night, needless to say I burnt out and had a stroke! So getting plenty of sleep would probably be my top tip! If you are knackered you are no good to anyone!

Julie xx

[haribo36 in reply to julieevh]

Hi julie,thanks for your comments.Yes i do agree about the sleep thing.I have to rest alot and have to go to bed pretty early most nights.I do wish i could sleep in the day sometimes when i rest but alas my brain won`t let me!x

[ArctoLindy]

I became a single parent when my son was a year old and was diagnosed with fibro when he was four. He was diagnosed with ADHD aged 6. He's now 22 and has been living in his own place for 3 years. I agree about the sleep, it was a real struggle when my son was like the duracell bunny and didn't even start sleeping through the night until he was 9 and a half years old. I'm not sure I have many helpful hints but I did survive and my son and I get on better now than we have in years.

[haribo36]

Hi there,thats o.k,its just nice to hear from other mums with fibro.That must have been really tough for you with your son having ADHD and not sleeping through the night.Its amazing how we cope sometimes with things.My ex-husband has ADHD,and we both struggled to understand each other.He is an alcoholic as will which didnt help.Its good to hear that you have a good relationship with your son now x