Log in
Fibromyalgia Action UK
42,351 members54,500 posts

DSS the next installment

Well today after taking the 75mg Amatryptaline last night, I got hardly any sleep as body was on fire and itching like mad, however i am in a couldn't give a monkeys mood. Not sure that will help with the DSS but hey ho.

Daughter who is my carer came with me to CAB well that was a laught as bloke couldn't get his head round what my situation is, funny you lot can but he couldn't. Finally he advised seing a solicitor for affidavit and contract for the house share. Now this is arranged and is going to cost me £75 for the consultation and the drawing up the paperwork. Then need to pay another £25 for another solicitor to witness the signing of said paperwork.

Daughter then spoke to the nasty DSS lady and she said she was not in the least bit interested in any of that, (after telling me to get this stuff). They are having a meeting to decide what to do with me as never come across this situation before, trust me to be different. Says she will phone my carer as I am clinically depressed so better she deals with her byt 7pm this evening, do we believe this, well I don't. They are stopping my money as from today unless they decide I am entitled to it even though they told me friday I had thirty days it seems they are denigning this now.

I found it really funny when they told my carer they have no problem if I was sleeping with this man that is not a relationship, odd I thought thats what you did in a relationship myself. No a relationship is if you eat meals together and are supported in any way financially. I get the financial bit but the eating meals, I eat meals with loads of people gosh I must be popular as in so many relationships hope the wives and husbands of these people don't mind. Oh and shareing a bathroom is a no no to which I don't by the way. Wonder how it works in a student digs are they all in relationships with each other?

As you may tell form this blog I am in a better place today thanks to anti depressents. xx

13 Replies

sorry i dont remember your blog.are you sharing your house with your ex hubby?sorry im asking as i had all this crap when i was seperated from my ex hubby but was selling the marital home.and they wouldnt give me and my kids a penny.they kept saying well your still together if your in same house and having meals together.

no we werent has he was on couch and we were leading sep lives.they dont give a damn.and where are you meant to get the money together for the lawyers?you dont need this stress.hope you get ti all sorted out.x


I am shareing the house with a friend who is not living here as such, he works all over the country. he gets to be in this house on a few weekends. Not been in relationship for years prefer being single. I put the large deposit into the house he has mortgage on his bit of the property as an investment for his future.

CAB said your situation is fairly normal they told me if that I was in your situation I would be fine so talk to CAB they said seperate cupboards and doing your own washing and having seperate bathrooms is proof your seperate households in the same house. Hope this helps your xx


So glad that you are feeling a bit brighter today Devonlady. What a farce the DSS have put you through! I will keep my fingers crossed that everything gets sorted in your favour. Keep us posted! Jane x


I am feeling better thanks Lady, I think it is the hige dose of anti depressents but at least I am not howling. My daughter and I have now wasted half a tree printin out statements and other paperwork including some from ten years ago that they NEED to prove I am not a fraudster.

I would like to say this will be the end of it but they say they will then look at all the information and see if I need to provide more than they have asked for and then they will decide if I am honest or not. I have given them evey bank statement and all my tax returns, (shouldn't the HMRC have these)? Well anyway they have all I have so now will be a waiting game. xx


I'll tell you what's odd about this Devonlady . A few years ago I had no choice but to share a house with my ex partner . We had been claiming Tax credits as a couple . When we split up, but were still sharing a house , I informed the Tax credits office and they had no problem ending our joint claim !

We were sharing a bathroom ( there was only one ) , and a kitchen, just not sharing a bedroom ! Seems they have one set of rules for one and one for another . We were getting less money after we split up so they were more than happy to accept we were no longer an item !


Your so right, they don't really seem to have clear rules that is the problem really. They apply different things to different people. I have always been open and honest with telling them about my situation and after three years they suddenly say it is against their rules. I may have to sell the house and rent some grotty place use all my money from the house sale up then calim rent and council tax as well as what I am on now. Pointless and daft. xx


Oh wow, sharing meals is a relationship?!?!?! For years I used to have school lunch 190 days a year with the male heads of History and MFL at school. I thought they were just being friendly company ... I had no idea I was in a relationship with them!!

The woman at the JobCentre yesterday told me my 18 year old daughter is not a dependent, even though she is in full time education, does voluntary work at the local BHF shop, and I get Family Allowance and Child Tax Credits for her - according to social security she should be at work when she turns 16 and therefore independent!

Hope this all works out for you. When you are found innocent will the DSS be reimbursing your solictors fees? (Ie will you be awarded costs?) I'd invoice them if not!

Julie XX


Oh Julie this did make me smile, if you shared payment for these meals with colleuges then on their rules id does seem you are having a relationship. I haddn't realised that I had been a loose peivce all these years with the meals I have had with friends, yes females count as well as males.

I will not be able to claim anything I have paid out and now they say they didn't need legal document but it was them who told me I did. Usual misleading information.

I would like to say I am shocked that your daughter is in this situration but I am not, nothing shocks me with the government departments anymore xx


Julie , my 23 year old autistic son for whom I'm an appointee is also not considered a dependant ! Even though his DLA is paid to me as the DWP agree he isn't capable of handling his own financial affairs .

I think they go with what suits them best !



How do they go on with people in bed sits they share bathrooms and what about flat mates they share living rooms kitchens and bathrooms this friend of yours is just a house mate ideots ain't they. Sithy


Well according to them if you share these facilities then your a couple. They are idiots I agree totally. Well they have every scrap of financial information about me for the past 18months and in some cases the past ten years so now I just wait.


It is such a farce isn't it they seem to be making it up as they go along. According to the recorded messages you get when you ring these bods they say they record all there calls so tell them to listen to the earlier conversation - bet they can't lol! You shouldn't need to pay £25 to get affidavit countersigned I had to due this for my divorce papers and they only charged me £5, also the court house has a counter where you pay admin costs, fines etc will usually sign them too for a similar amount I think. Worth a ring around before you part with your cash. xx


Thanks I will do that and ring around.

As for the recorded calls this is the odd bit the department I am dealing with has no recorded message saying your call may be recorded which I thought was very strange. The CAB said I can ask for transcripts of the call but when I told them there was not recorded message they seemed to think that the call could not be recorded which they said was not a good sign either especially as they were very threatening. Funny how when my carer called them their attitude was much more friendly and helpful and no threats. xx


You may also like...