What next

My hubby died in dec 12 aftermi had looked after him for four months it was luekemia not neglect I worded that wrongly

Three weeks later I get a letter saying I am no longer on esa and should apply for oension am 62

So no money coming in escept 50% of dla

Then because I am not on benefits at this point if time my plea fir help tp pay funeral is rejected another 3000 to find from a nil balance

Then funeral parlour decides that there is a furtherb150 to pay they hadnt takn into account

Then housing benefit and council tax withdrawn cis I no longer on esa

Completed pension forms pension credit etc had visit from pension people.

Letter of demand from council income section forr 458 rent and 270 tax

Phoned pension office they said gaily oh it will take another four weejs told them I have had no money since 6th jan told to aplly fir a crisis loan

Phoned for cridis loan was told ...... you guesed it as I was not on any benefits I could notapply for loan

Phoned pension office agsin told me to tell council pension being sorted phoned council finance collection wasb told they need barnet homes to inform them phoned barnet homes and they said ok wevwill acceptbthat and re instate housing benefit.

Yesterday I received a formal letterbtelling me my monthly direct debit has been adjusted from 27 pounds to 458 pounds a month as from 15 march more than I have ever received monthly

Now I know I get fibro fog but even I know that 3600 odd pounds from zero doesn't go

I am going nuts wuth stress and pain is building up daily I cant even take time to greive

Surely they cant harrass me ike this

also have otsdand cannot speak to strangers I break diwn on the phone so going to see cab is not an option

I know I normally soundvwise or funny on here but this situation is no longer funny and I am not wise enough to find the answer

Sorry for the rant petal

[Hidden]

Blossom you are one strong lady to,offer support and joke on here with all that you are going through. But I am not sure here what to suggest , my first reaction was CAB then read on further . I can only send you my virtual support and add my pleas that if anyone on here does know of a solution or avenue petal can take then please please post here and let her know . I know posting this is not going to be of any practical help, but you are so lovely I just wanted you to know we care about you and are thinking of you

VG xxx

[charlii]

Oh Petal, i had no idea of the awful time you are having. May i say firstly that i am very sorry for your loss. I, like V-G can offer no practical advice exept that do you have a trusted person close to you who could possibly speak on your behalf to CAB or other parties? You need professional help here from someone who knows every nook and cranny of this awful system and im afraid i know very little....i feel so useless. You are always there for myself and others and i cant help you in return except to offer myself as a friend to listen whenever you need me....24/7. You are very welcome to pm me and i will be there.

I can only echo V-G's pleas for assistance....SOMEONE OUT HERE MUST KNOW OF A WAY TO HELP PETAL!!!!!

Please take care hunni and i really am sending you a huge hug and you are in my thoughts........Charlii xx

[Ginsing]

Morning Petal how awful they are making your life hell. P etal does the sum include back payments? . You definately need a helping hand to wade through this have you asked the local help lines who they can suggest, just have a go through the local Phone book . If in doubt ask at the doctors surgery. It does seem rather a lot at once sorry can not be of more help - xgins

[Hidden]

Oh Petal

My heart goes out to you. You so need help, practical hands-on help to get this mess sorted. I understand talking to strangers seems scary, and with the stress you're going through, I'm not surprised. Please, please think about contacting CAB. Can you email them? I don't know if you go to church, or have good neighbours, or who else you know in your local area, but please get someone to help you through this mess, make phone calls and write letters for you.

As VG and Charlii have already said, we are here for you, but there is so little we can do that's practical.

I will be thinking of you, and if you want to chat feel free to PM.

Kaz

xx

[Teddysmum43]

So sorry to hear about what your going through Petal. I agree with Kaz you must talk to the cab,you need help to deal with all this. Could you find someone to talk to them for you if you don't feel up to it? Wish I could do more Hun but that is a starting place for you.

Ali xxx

[ladymoth]

Petal, CAB are used to at least 50% of their clients in floods of tears - they are there to deal with distress. They will visit you at home if you can't get out.

I do see your problem, but if you sit tight, I can see that it can be sorted if you ask for help. You must do it soon, tho' or you will become even more ill. It's very complicated, so I won't go into it here, but there is a lot of help out there for you - you just need someone 'in the know' to co ordinate it for you!

Please dry your tears and ring for help asap.

Am thinking of you, I know you can get through!

Love Moffy xxx

[Saskia]

BLESS YOU, FADEDBLOSSOM.

MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. I AM NOT IN A POSITION TO ADVISE BUT, AS OTHERS HAVE SAID, YOU DO NEED SOMEONE TO GIVE YOU THE PRACTICAL SUPPORT YOU NEED AT THE MOMENT TO TAKE THE STRESS OFF YOU. I AM SURE A CAB ADVISER WOUD COME TO YOUR HOUSE. WHAT ABOUT AGE UK?

PERHAPS YOU COULD WARN THEM THAT YOU HAVE DIFFICULTY TALKING TO STRANGERS AND THAT YOU MAY BREAK DOWN IN TEARS. I AM SURE THEY WILL UNDERSTAND.

WOULD YOUR GP BE ABLE TO HELP WITH YOUR GRIEF. YOU NEED TO GET YOUR FEELINGS OUT SOMEHOW.

YOU ARE ALWAYS SO ELOQUENT WHEN YOU BLOG ON THIS SITE. I AM SURE, ONCE YOU GET TALKING TO SOMEONE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS, YOU WILL FIND THE RIGHT WORDS AND IF YOU BREAK DOWN DON'T WORRY...I AM SURE ADVISERS FROM CHARITIES ARE WELL USED TO PEOPLE IN DISTRESS. THAT IS WHY THEY ARE IN THE JOB...BECAUSE THEY CARE.

HOPING YOU GET THE HELP YOU NEED.

SENDING LOVING THOUGHTS AND A LOP-SIDED COMFORTING HUG FROM ONE-HANDED SASKIA XX

[Hidden]

Sadly it took me losng my temper something I have not done since young teens and I went into barely polite controlled fury threatened them with legal action on a zimbabwean taumatised person etc and lo and behold it is all fixed except my loss of temoer has left me feeling very very very ill and passing out randomly think it has had a knock on affect on my heart failure problem but hey its done and tomorrow is another day and hopefully petal will return with her normal crazy humour lol

Cyberhugz p

[Hidden]

Hey the real droopy flower is back I am sorry to have caused such a ripple but I feel so strong and backed with all the support on here as I said to sas I sorted it by losing it and at a really high cost to my health but the devil looks after his own especially if he is terrified she is going to take his job you know the saying laugh and the world laughs with you cry and you cry alone NOT TRUE ON HERE we all cry tigether. lol

I do know that SOME PEOPLE on the council and pension payrolls are drawing a salary o false pretenses pmsl

thanks again for all your support petal

[motzie]

Hi Petal...felt i just wanted to send love n hugs at this very difficult time for you, as said previously there are people that should be able to help. I am sorry i am unable to help you with any advise & wish you well, take care... Mary xx.

[Hidden]

Thanks motze but my humour will carry me thru it has to its all I have left in abundance oh forgot have cellulite in abundance too but for some reason people wont share iy

[Cat53]

Hi Petal. So sorry for the loss of your husband. I hope now your financial problems are in hand that you can finally take the time to grieve for your husband and maybe some time for yourself too.

[sue32]

My husband died 6 years ago and when I read your post it brought it all back!! Not his passing, but the disgusting and atrocious way I was treated by so-called 'compassionate' people. My income halved when Barry died, and I was soooo worried about how I would manage. Barry left no estate, no Will, so it was all left to me to sort out. I had terrible problems with the DWP Bereavement dept, received verbal abuse from 1 guy! I was in tears and phoned back to complain!! Nothing done, of course!! I had to reapply for rent and council tax!!! Why?? There was no change to my tenancy for God's sake!! Despite being honest and declaring the less than £100 in his bank account I was not entitled to a full grant for the funeral!!! Thank goodness for my dear, darling father who helped out no end. I did get the £2000 bereavement grant as Barry was only 51 when he died, but by the time the DWP get everything sorted out that money had gone on just me getting by!! I received no benefit money for 4 weeks! All this on top of grieving was horrendous!! Thankfully everything was sorted in the end, but why are these people there and soooo unsympathetic, especially at a time when we are so vulnerable???

OK, rant over!! XXXX

[Hidden]

People are just that people they are diverse and have so many problems and pressures of their own mostly they arrive at work already stressed they follow rules laid out for them and if they were to allow themselves to drop the harsh exterior they too would be disabled with mental illness from stress and depression.

I gave learned when not pushed to losing my temper lol to be tolerant and were possible non judgemental we have no idea what another person is undergoing at any one time all we can do is stay true to ourselves petaj

Normal blossom transmision has resumed