Good morning to everyone,
I do not have fibromyalgia, M.E or any of the chronic conditions that you all unfortunately suffer with, what I do have is a beautiful lady, who I see every single day, suffering considerably.
My beautiful lady is none other than Nuttytartuk2003 (Irene)
She will probably do her nut when she see's this post, but eh who cares, I'm just telling my story and speaking on behalf of many other men, who live with someone who suffers from this horrific condition.
I met Irene 4 years ago nearly and from the beginning, she looked amazing, excuse me but I'm a bit of a soppy sod lol.
Anyway back to my point, she looked from the outside no different to any other woman, she told me little bits about her car accident when she was younger and how she had been told by doctors that she had certain problems with her back and neck, but I never imagined the horror that I would see over the next few years.
I began to notice little things right from the moment we lived together, things I hadn't noticed before as I used to just visit her everyday, I realise now that she must have been going through hell just to meet me each day, but I didn't know at the time.
I began to notice the pain she was suffering, the constant feeling of being tired, she used to suffer terribly with itching and I had many bruises to prove it with her restless leg.
I don't need to go into detail, because you all know exactly how she feels, but this post is about how I feel and to help make Irene and other people on here see how there partners feel living with someone who has these debilitating conditions.
I work a 60 hour a week, at weekends I try my best to help her in anyway I can, mostly housework etc, I try and comfort her and listen to her as she explains to me how she is feeling, I listen with great enthusiasm when she tells me about this website and the research she does to find out more, but inside she doesn't see or feel the emotional pain and suffering that I have as many of your partners will feel.
One of the hardest things a human being as to endure is seeing the person he or she loves suffering, people deal with emotions differently, but that doesn't mean, they don't care.
It's hard because I personally feel helpless, there isn't anything I can do to take her pain away, all I can do is support her in the best way I can, listening and being there for her.
Sometimes I don't know what to say to her or do for her to make her feel somewhat better, I have to suffer in silence, I have to watch the woman I love go through every day life, with immense pain, discomfort and difficulty struggling to even get out of bed most days, not being able to live a normal productive life. It makes me feel guilty because I don't suffer from what she as or you guys have, I get a cold and I'm dying, yes man flu lol, but then I look at Irene and it suddenly dawns on me that she feels like this every single day 365 days a year.
Don't be to hard on your partners, if they are different to the way I am, everyone is different, everyone deals with things differently, it does not mean they don't love you or care about you, it's hard to get our heads around it, to see your partner suffering day after day and there is sod all you can do about it, is absolutely soul destroying, we don't have support groups, we can't talk to anyone about how we feel, the emotional pain we suffer, we are alone and try our best to help.
I have so much admiration for Irene and also for all of you who are suffering with these conditions, you are all very brave, Irene has told me so much about this place and how wonderful and a supportive network you really are.
I'd like to take this oppurtunity to thank you all for helping, supporting and most importantly being a friend to my beautiful Irene, you have touched my heart sincerely because since she came on here and as spoken to you all, I see that fight back in her eyes, that hunger to change the government and NHS mindset and make them finally realise that this is a serious illness and you all deserve the best care, treatment and of course financial support to make you lives easier.
Again thank you for being there for her