to be or not to be? either way is OKAY

[ziggyinhants]

i had a mixed week most painful but seeing family and having girly night on my birthday was my highlight. Now i am new and no matter what info i put up on my home page or the wee comments i write i hope i am not offending anyone.This isnot my intensions, what i do want is others to listen and see if any one may be in same position to maybe help or have advise.

here is what i have been dealing with3 different surgeries on my ankles(as my surgeon seems facinated it them) my ankle bone are IN my feet so i have had all sorts of bullying in my life but now he says he cant do any more corrective surgery as i now have sever arthritis.

2. i have a metal cage in my back as i have had a previous ruptured disc. When he opened me up and had xrayed my back to make sure it was good he found my tailbone(coxious) not attached either (I have pain sitting now too!) so during surgery he had to ring my husband and have permission to fix it as i was under! then they did an mri before i left hospital to inform me all my disc are deterating. 6 years later another bulging disc right were i have spondylothesis (curvature of the spine) 2 years later 2 more discs bulging one of wich is in my neck.Now i have hip problems not just from the pressure of my back but because my pelvis dropped during a pregnany that never healed... to be told by all surgeons back pain doctors and physio I will Never work again. I am a strong person thought Ican do this i will! I am a mother of 2 married to a man who was diagnosed with MS 6 years ago after my back surgery.

He is my strength and my soul as i am his. Ido Not like to give up and i am a strong person who has worked since i was 12 i am only 39. But in light of things as my family says i may still be strong but my body said enough! i have done things seen things most people should never have to live through and my body's mind is saying time to retire and look at what i have achieved! Ireally ahte to have to fight for benefits that in my eyes i have worked for and earned!!!

Am i being selfish? If you have known me you would say i am not if you are going through what i have you would not! so why do others think they Can judge us? Because they Do not understand what it means to Work hard and Earn what you have!

I (we) Do not get benefits We donot work but we were lucky to have insurances that covered insurance. If you can get them to pay out as insurances dont.

if you like my ramble story tonight just like it if you dont Do Not comment simples

I may struggle i may be in pain everyday but just because i may walk doesnt mean i should or have to its because im not ready to admit i need a wheel chair. everyone i have spoken to on this site i see as friends. I willnot judge you as im not in your shoes but i can sympathasize with you!

xx soft hugs ziggy xxx

[Hidden]

I like your post. I'm 40 with a wealth of health problems. Like you I'm not a quitter and don't want to give up but sometimes I have to give in a little.

I think you are amazing coping the way you do.

Angie xx

[ziggyinhants]

ohh thank you hun, but im not amazing anyone coping with fibro or ms is amazing!!

have a good night

[roxyroo]

Bless you, im 41 and have a few health problems. You have been threw so much. Big hug & love to you. Helen xxx

[Hidden]

Hello and welcome Ziggy! Do you have Fibro, I read all your message but I have the memory of a flea and forget all I've read within seconds?! It's lovely having you here with us, take a look around and make yourself comfy. Sounds like you've been through an awful lot already, hope things ease for you very soon.

[glochessum]

Wow you have been through the wars. Nice to have you here.

Gloria x

[ziggyinhants]

yes libby hun the told me 3 weeks ago i also have mr.fybro so it just gets added to the list of i'll deal with later lol. thanks everyone xx but we all have been through thr wringer so i am no different. i think my kids are special my son is adhd/autistic n my daughter who i wanted to have a life (is only 20) has moved to canada! so i wont and dont want my children feel as my life dictates theirs.. they will have to sort me out one day but wait till i need diapers hehe

[Hidden in reply to ziggyinhants]

My eldest now lives in Australia. Miss him badly but he's living his life how I wanted him to - free to choose his own path. Thank goodness for Skype. X

[friends4u]

hi ziggyinhants i read your story and you have been through a lot i have fibro and others also sorry to here you have just been told you have fibro also

take care

xxxxx