Fibromyalgia Action UK

Meeting at work today. Stage 2. No. Surprise! Stage 3!!!

I was wrong.

It was a stage 3 meeting. :(

However, although that was a shock and I had to hold onto my emotions it actually wasn't too bad as I will have another later. Let me explain. My line manager isn't in on a Friday and the term is coming to a close so there is not much time to get everything done - so we couldn't wait for her. Barbara is the Bursar [well she has a better title than that but I can't recall it - anyway its her job to make sure our jobs are safe as in safe environment]

She didn't tell me it was a stage 3 but slipped it into the conversation. I pounced on it and asked her to clarify stating that I had wanted someone with me for that meeting. However, as it turns out this was more like a pre-emptive meeting. There will be another stage 3 when I next trigger it by being off, but in the meantime she needed to set up some guidelines, check work were doing everything and making sure I knew what was going on. She said that she was doing this although she should not, there should be only one stage 3 meeting.

It all sounded okay although I was a bit shaken I could take it in and there didn't seem to be anything to worry about, except when I mentioned the Occupational Health Advisors report, she found the comments in it about my possibly reducing my hours or cutting out Wednesday; she then quietly said that would depend on whether that would fit in with work and whether that would be possible, and moved on. So there is a chance it would not suit them. It seemed like a 'don't count on it' warning. We shall see.

When I have my stage 3 meeting, I have to have enough warning to get a rep from the Union to come. I will also need to meet with that persion before then to discuss what I want out of the meeting as there is little point in them going in not knowing!

Anyway, it seems she was kind of breaking the rules here, for me. She said she should not but she needed to make sure she had details correct and that I had everything I needed. I guess it was tying up loose ends so she didn't look bad in front of others, but if it helps us both, I don't mind. I think she has been doing her best for me whilst doing her job.

She's chasing up the chair I should have had months ago - that will be nice to have something I should be using instead of the wobbly thing I have. I won't spare them though. It will still be brought up that I waited months for it - since March!

We discussed one off sick time she had no notes on. I showed her my diary. I keep one and make notes every time now. Arn't I good! Anyway, I told her that I had a migraine, triggered by the excessive heat in a classroom I was in for 3 hours which had only two windows that could only open slightly. I also said I was surprised students had not passed out. I was asked "do you carry any water on you?" I felt rather smug when I pulled out my water bottle from my bag - its a fairly small shoulder bag and did not look like it could hold one, but its a bit Mary Poppins like as it holds a lot! Anyway I was able to link my migraine to my FM too as I said it would not have been as bad if I did not have it.

We also discussed my bad back. That was triggered by a slip off a work chair - owww! I had to go home 20 minutes early! Oh shame! Anyway it hurt and continued to be a problem. I got the chance to say that it became a weak spot, flaring each time I pushed myself up a ramp or had hydro therapy and stopped after a rest and stopping Hydro and pushing myself up with my arms. I now either push my empty chair or go in reverse which is better - no in and out of the chair. My back has been a lot better since.

She pointed out that my incidences of being off sick had become less frequent, but longer, which seems to indicate that I am becoming more aware of my FM limitations although my body is not always recovering quickly. I agreed that it appeared that way and I do feel that I know myself better. I had told them that it would take a while, but she had not remembered that. Oh well.

Anyway, I took myself off for a calm down and a cup of tea. I was in no state to go back into class and they were ones that would be okay. Of course it would have been better for them had I been there, but as I said I would not have been much use.

Not long now until the end of term.

Soft hugs everyone.

5 Replies

Hi Sarah Jane I went through all these stages last year so maybe I can add 1 or 2 things that might be of some help.firstly get in touch with your union rep and tell him what has happened so far and give him a copy of the minutes stage 3 is when things become formal so you should be informed in writing 10 days before hand I ended up getting early retirement on I'll health grounds because I could not do my job I was a nursery nurse in a school. And needed to be able to sit on the floor and also move quickly! Those days aree long gone but I am57. I was also told that 1 long absence was of less concern than 2 or 3 odd days. Hope you don't think I am interfeering just want to help take care sue xx


Be very careful although this person seemed helpful as a union rep i have a bad feeling far more likely trying to find out what you will do.

Get in touch with your rep straight away and make sure they understand the DDA and Equality Act.

My employers current technique is to bully disabled out of a job and pretending to be your friend is very coomon to get info to use against you.

My management are under no illusions what I will do that is take them to an ET whether I have to pay or not.

When did you hurt your back did you put in a claim?


This is so interesting. I also work at a school as a T A. I am struggling with two days at moment and missed quite a few days so no doubt i'll be in the same position soon! Please keep us updateed x and take care as this will no doubt cause stress :-(


Hi guys,

I'm also on stage 3 and I also work for the local authority. My line manager is a right bully and her boss goes on as if she is my friend but in reality they are trying to put pressure on me to leave. My union rep has been involved from day 1 but I am finding that at times they do not want to get their hands dirty.

I am currently awaiting for a stress risk assessment to be conducted and this will be done in my home as I'm off long term sickness. I have requested redeployment based on medical grounds and this has not gone down very well. Now they have requested a repory from mu GP to prove that i have FM etc. Furthermore, because of the bullying I do not want to step foot in the building again.

By the way, Does anyone know if they can sack you whilst you are covered by a drs note?

I really hope things work out for you x


This is really interesting to read. I am also suffering in work ( local authority) and. My manager is nothing but a bully- wonder what it is about local authority that draws them? At the moment I am on a review, waiting for a stress risk assessment and occy health one again and been warned on the quiet to help me out of course, that my sickness is bad and I need to be careful- 11 days in 12 months. She is doing exactly the same thing to my colleague with fm. Please keep updating us, as I think it will ultimately help all of us deal with and face the small minded bullies we work for. You're really brave to take it on.xx


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