My little dream will never be fulfilled

How on earth can anyone do what they really want living with this day to day?

I am self-employed and i am running round like blue a*^% fly and struggling putting brave face thinking positive every day that i get out of bed!

Which i have been stuck in bed alll wkend near enough and missed my 11yr old daughters cup final football game!! I never miss. I am off balance today and not with it but still out and about sorting girls with jobs.

Not sure how much longer i can cope!! :-( i am writing this and my phone looks cockeyed :-/ xx i have help at home with hubby and kids am blessed but am drained with it all. What to do because i will lose my home and i am bread winner :-( :-( xxxx think everyone thinks am fine !! Ohh if they knew how this feels xx thanks for reading

6 Replies

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  • Morning cazzie,

    Aww huni i just want to send you a big hug.

    I havent been too good lately so this is the first proper day of me being on this site. It so not good is it.

    I am sorry you missed your daughters cup final, i would be gutted too. :(

    I hope you pick up soon hun, i am supposed to be doing the ironing but not got the strength to do it yet.

    I know you cant take it easy hun as you are very busy but stress will not help.

    Nobody can truly understand what it takes to have a smile on our faces.

    I do love the cockeyed face though lol. :)

    Lots of love hun, kel xxxx

  • Have you spoken to your GP about how much you are struggling? It sounds like you need more effective treatment and more support.

  • i think you may need to priorotise sounds like you are really stressed, maybe you needs to see dr and get some help. I find that i do the main things first family and works who cares about the housework when i am having a bad day hope you feel well soon or at least able to cope xxx

  • Kel, lynsey webby thankyooooo so so much for hugs n replies, so appreciaet help. Fir me to employ driver too expensive. I already have one she self-employed but theres issues with consistency and reliability! I am in this state snd manage every day! I got to stage with trust aswell with is anyone going to let me down. My daughters been a huge help with wrk my 21yr old but without her i would of closed 2 yr ago. The Dr's do know and they tried diff things, lyrica really does help its a life saver but its how they make me feel!! Catch 22 really. Painkillers and other stuff. When i do have a day off i laid up because think my body knows. My time off is spent lazy to me and am such a busy fairy lol. I should not moan theres plenty worse off even though this is a daily challenge !! I am proud of all of you who are strong and get on with things best you can because it is Invisible!! Unless legs, speech or stay in bed shows how its gripped us.. Uour allll brilliant and supportive and i wish i could wave my fairy wand and give you all a new lease of good health xxxxxxxhuggles xxxxxx

  • Ohh ps hopefully brain scan this friday will shed light as doctors want me to wait till after that to know which road to take, had sinus issues, on steroids dont think helping! My jaw, face, ears are leaking and very itchy, which i do get eczma in them anyway, balance is off and leg and arm very very and hands throbbing etc at minute uncomfortable feeling, tripping over etc ohhh we go ghrough some things... Moan moan moan lol sorry :-/ live to you alll xx

  • Hi

    I worked full time up until 2 years ago when everything got worse and i had to cut my hours to 16 per week. I could not afford to pay my mortgage so went onto interest only payments hoping i would be able to get back to full time work which i haven't been able to do. I am now having to sell my flat and move into rented.

    Please take care see your doctor get your meds checked.

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