Depressed & Frustrated

Hi everyone, this is my first post on the site. I have been diagnosed with CFS, Fibro, Cervical Spondy as well as IBS & Depression, looking at a lot of the blogs it seems often if you have one diagnosis the others also follow, whether it's the med's that cause it from the side effects or the fact that were just busy people trying "too" hard to do everything ourselves as we're the only ones we can rely on, or because we have an OCD tendency. Has anyone else found this out about themselves, I still find it very difficult accepting help from others, not because I'm ungrateful just no longer in control, letting go seems to be half the battle, trying not to totally give-up is the the flip-side of the coin though, balancing things out is so much hard work when you're just so tired all the time! Depressed and Frustrated Mels.

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  • ditto to every comment , ive had fms for 11 years and i cant stand the fact that i cant cope....from working raising 5 kids two jobs, decorating whizzing about here and there to...brain willing and the flesh is weak....living terminal illness..thats my pet name for it x

  • thanks for your reply, love your user name by the way lol, I think if I didn't have several hobbies to keep me occupied when my brain is in overdrive I wouldn't be here now! they have kept me as sane as I think I'm going to get, for obvious reasons their are days when my brain is so cloudy I don't even remember if I've taken my med's, I expect this is one of those ditto to that moments. It's such a shame that my body has given up on me, I used to love to read books, I found that I'm now Photosensitive and can't keep my concentration, the way around this is "Audio Books" they really are a Lifesaver when you have no energy, your mind can still naturally process a good book and the sleepless nights can be helped with this as well along with med's of course, as restless and painful legs really are sleep depriving

  • thanks for your reply, love your user name by the way lol, I think if I didn't have several hobbies to keep me occupied when my brain is in overdrive I wouldn't be here now! they have kept me as sane as I think I'm going to get, for obvious reasons their are days when my brain is so cloudy I don't even remember if I've taken my med's, I expect this is one of those ditto to that moments. It's such a shame that my body has given up on me, I used to love to read books, I found that I'm now Photosensitive and can't keep my concentration, the way around this is "Audio Books" they really are a Lifesaver when you have no energy, your mind can still naturally process a good book and the sleepless nights can be helped with this as well along with med's of course, as restless and painful legs really are sleep depriving...

  • Hi there mels,

    Its lovely to meet you, and i hope you enjoy this site as much as i do. There are loads of lovely people on her for support and advice. :)

    hugs, kel xxxx

  • thanks for your support, everyone has been so nice on this site and gradually I'll get to make new friends that actually understand completely.x

  • Hi Mels

    Welcome to here!! You will get loads of support, advice, help, shoulders to cry on and friends to laugh with! I see you have the inevitable list of things that we all seems to accumulate...we are so greedy...can't just have one illness, noooo that would be too easy! LOL. :) Welcome!!

  • thanks for your support, everyone has been so nice on this site and gradually I'll get to make new friends that actually understand completely.x

  • welcome to the forum,same here had a busy hectic life gor 5 kids 4 still at home, never needed help from anyone, its not easy now to need help, I think with fibro, the name cover a lot of illnesses be it depression,[mine brought on by fibro] IBs again brought on by fibro, I think on our journey for a diagnoses the medics find we have all sorts of things wrong with us

  • thanks for your support, everyone has been so nice on this site and gradually I'll get to make new friends that actually understand completely.x

  • Hi Mels,

    I can agree with everything you've said.

    Over the last few years I've gone from being a strong , independent woman who everyone leaned on to being someone who can barely make it out of bed some days .

    I raised an autistic son pretty much single handed, fought for him to get the help and support he needed . Fought for other people to get what they were entitled to .

    I had a demanding job as a counsellor , counselling sexually abused adults .

    Now I can't work , I can't manage to cook most days . I struggle to leave the house and the guilt I feel is almost as bad as the illness it's self . I'm reliant on my soon to be husband to do most things for me, I suffer from agoraphobia and so am trapped in my home most days .

    I've had long bouts of depression , with 2 suicide attempts and I'm a shadow of my former self . Instead of being the person everyone relied on, I'm now relying on others . That hurts .

    This site is a life saver for me. For the first time , people understand, help and advise and I feel like I've made real friends here . My real life friends have pretty much drifted away, tired of me always letting them down when it comes to social occasions and I guess tired of me having no strength.

    I can guarantee you'll find the same level of support here , so welcome !

    xx

  • big hugs xx

  • thanks for your support, everyone has been so nice on this site and gradually I'll get to make new friends that actually understand completely.x

  • thanks for your support, everyone has been so nice on this site and gradually I'll get to make new friends that actually understand completely.x

  • hi mels welcome to this site i have also gone from being a shop manager with 3 children 1 of them having r sided hemi he had a stroke hen i as pregnant as ell as the demands of work a husband that as useless and stayed in bed all day 2 other lively children and my boys daily physio that as a full time job itself to now not always knowing what day it is and not having the energy for life and letting go is difficult admitting you need help is enough to bring on depression andthe pain we get is enough to make sure it stays there on good days i can walk my dog and sometimes forget that im ill but then something happens to remind me and it is such a difficult life for any of us

    love and gentle hugs

    love lynxx

  • thanks for your support, everyone has been so nice on this site and gradually I'll get to make new friends that actually understand completely.x

  • hi mels alot of us will relate to your blog!i had a fun job,activity cordinater for the elderly,loved it,could do speaches,sing all infront of anyone!now im indoors most of the time,frustrated when i see hubby digging&weeding i want to do it!i want to cook,walk for miles the list goes on!i have spondylothesis& a drop foot from nerve damage,fybro,ahritis,take lots of meds!but on this group everyone understands&its nice to chat on here lots of hugs xxx

  • thanks for your support, everyone has been so nice on this site and gradually I'll get to make new friends that actually understand completely.x

  • Hi and welcome. There are lots of fibro support groups, but I can honestly say that this is the best and most friendly and supportive site I have ever seen in the past 7 years. Real understanding friends. No guilt trip if we are not on for a time and always ready with a shoulder or advice.

    Like most here I was also very busy working 11 hours a day, supporting grandparents and mother, being the family problem solver and run around. I have yet to meet a fibro who says they did nothing.

    This site is a life saver and gives us back some self esteem when we are able to support each other on bad days and share the rare good ones. I know you will find it great too. There is also the tags on the right of the home page & a link to the main web site that has so much valuable information. Fi xx

  • thanks for your support, everyone has been so nice on this site and gradually I'll get to make new friends that actually understand completely.x

  • Hi Mel, good to meet you. I was the same as you, always had to have everything under my control and afraid to let go and let anyone else do anything. I still tend to like having some control but am slowly learning to let go a bit and let others take over. When I had counselling some time ago she gave me a chart of circles and asked me to write down what I was actually responsible for and what I could and should be leaving to others. A valuable lesson and quite obvious when its done like that!!.

    Living with fibro is all about learning to pace yourselves, do the things you really have to do and hand over the things that can be done by someone else. It takes a lot of practise but becomes easier over time. Don't be too hard on yourself as it takes time to adjust to a new lifestyle but you can always come onto this site and vent your feelings anytime you are fed up, depressed etc. and there will always be someone to talk to who knows what you are going through and how you are feeling.

    Take care and look after yourself, love Angela xx

  • thanks for your support, everyone has been so nice on this site and gradually I'll get to make new friends that actually understand completely.x

  • Hi Mels I pretty much have the same list of conditions as you do,

    And yes some days can be dark but mostly I try to remain positive.

    I like reading and listening to my music, I have 2 adorable westies who love me unconditionally I struggle some days to walk them.

    But by pacing I manage my days, although when I am exhausted I just need to sleep.

    Soft Hugs

    Sue

    xxxxx

  • thanks for your support, everyone has been so nice on this site and gradually I'll get to make new friends that actually understand completely.x

  • Welcome Mels

    I agree with all you have said, I used to be very active cycling and walking everywhere, I was a knitwear designer, bringing up 4 children, my husband worked away a lot so was on my own a great deal of the time....then whoosh...all gone.

    Very frustrating and very depressing.

    I don't actually take many meds at all now...(which is hard work) just to see what is caused by side effects and what's not....from a personal perspective....I still suffer all the ailments everyone else does...

    The one thing I have learned from the past 3 yrs, when things got really bad is to let someone else take over when I can't cope and to take it easy when I need to. They were both very hard lessons to learn.

    There's loads of good, understanding people on here and lots of great advice.

    Take care of yourself xxx

  • thanks for your support, everyone has been so nice on this site and gradually I'll get to make new friends that actually understand completely.x

  • Hi Mels and welcome :) I agree with all the comments everyone has left.

    I am also new to the site but so far everyone has been very welcoming and supportive

    Jax xx

  • thanks for your support, everyone has been so nice on this site and gradually I'll get to make new friends that actually understand completely.x

  • Welcome Mels, I can honestly say my life has changed since joining this forum as I get my need to talk about fibro met on here and don't have to try to make people understand who never will. That saves me so much hassle and grieve.

    I have also been diagnosed with CFS, depression and more recently fibro. I think you are on to something with the control thing. I was a control freak (and inside I still am) but got so unwell I couldn't control things anymore and my reaction was to let everything go for a while. Asking for help is like pulling teeth and there are some people I just won't ask for help from. What I do think for certain is that those of us who develop CFS/Fibro and depression type illnesses are usually the hard workers and busy bees. I don't know anybody with fibro who wasn't the opposite before they got ill. You'll come across lots of blogs where members say they had a good day and did too much so I think many still want to be busy bees on the good days.

    Hope you like it here as much as I do and keep coming back.

    Whippet x

  • welcome Mels - as everyone has said already, your blog is familiar ground, in terms of symptoms and emotional torment of the effects of fibro. I have only recently joined this group - but find it reassuring to know I'm not alone - and people here really 'get it' so an empathetic 'ear' is always here and no-one would say you any of the platitudes people often say when they don't understand it all. I hope responses are all to the good for you and give you the strength you need to keep working through the torment and reach a point of emotional peace - I too am working on this bit :-)

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