The Lonesome Confession Of A Single Fibromite

I want to thank a fellow fibromite, Whippet_lover. So, I'm not "alone" but I am. I'm 41, no children. I've never been in a real relationship and I have nothing to look forward to therefore my future is EXTREMELY bleak. I loathe loneliness yet my immediate family thinks it's alright as long as they have someone in their lives. The people around some of us seem to forget that although we are chronically ill and almost always miserable and misunderstood we're not dead and still desire the comfort of a significant other just as they do. This is one thing that has me so very severely depressed that I have simply thrown my hands up. I do hope for a better future for those that suffer in this manner, of course, I don't expect too much more out of this life. I want to thank you, Whippet_lover, for getting so intimate and sharing your deepest feelings about being alone. I constantly think about Eric Carmen's charted song from the 70's "All By Myself". I'm all by myself and I really don't want to be. I have always felt unwanted and unloved and this illness makes those feelings all the more intense.

THE SINGLETON'S HONEST ADMISSION

Written by: Whippet_lover

I wish I had someone to hold me in the night

When the demons in my head tell me to give up the fight

Just to stroke my hair and rub my back

Just to tell me that all this will pass

I wish I had a lover to lie beside me in the night

And when I'm shaking with fear, to hold me tight

Just to tell me they would love me for ever

Just to say they'll be there - whatever

I wish I had someone to hold me in the night

And to make me believe it will be alright

11 Replies

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  • I cant honestly say I dont know how you feel because I have my children, but I live on my own now and have always believed that my job as a parent is to let them go. By all means shout abuse at me for this, but, I have my dogs and the hugs and comfort and unconditional love I see in ther eyes is very comforting. sorry if this sounds daft.. take care

  • I"m so sorry for how you feel. I am a single 49 yr old Mother of a 21 yr old son. He lives with me but is never here if that makes sese. I am divorced 13 yrs. I get lonley myself & wish for the comfort of another to hold & understand me. I've given up on that long ago. No confidence & never get out to meet anyone. Very low self esteme & then the problems fibro bring. I have family & a small number of friends who tell me I dont know how lucky I am. How di they work that one out? I bite my tongue!

    I'd love to get a wee dog for company but live in a 6th floor flat so it would be hard work when nit feeling very mobile.

    I just want you to know you're not totally alone & I understand a bit of how you feel. Chin up.

    Take care.

    Jackie

  • hi please dont feel alone you can always come on here and someone will be hear to talk to you it has been a godsend to me i have made loads of friends on here lots of love diddlex

  • :) its helped me too xx

  • i know what itis alike to be alone,although i have family i ahave noone that would be simperthertic to me. i have a friend but he does not understand what i go through,he does not understand why i do,not sleeep or the pain i have constantly. but we get on with life,but sometimeswe get depressed about the people around us ,sometimes it would be nice if they showed they care sometimes.grrrrrrrrrr.

  • Hi

    I totally know where you are coming from and i often kisten to that song as well. I am 45 and my 21 yr old also lives with me but hardly here and when he is he is in his room i am in mine.

    I had to give up my wee dog i loved to bits as im almost completely agoraphobic, so i couldnt walk him, and although i have a big garden i cant bend to clean up the mess and when i need sleep i worried he was alone all the time so i made the hard choice of rehoming him where he got the attention he needed. Good for him, he is well loved. Bad for me cos now i have no one to cuddle me, or show they love me.

    My son went out after a long hard day at work last night, i tried to explain i was lonely and really needed company laast night but he wanted to go out.

    I have no friends around me except my neighbour my closest friends are on the internet miles and miles away so I understand why you feel as you do.

    But at least on this site people are suffering from the same and sometimes worse conditions so although not the same as someone to hold you please dont feel youhave no friends at all.

    Hugs for you. xx

  • Hi Painbefore. I think that everyone who lives alone and has fibro feels this way too, we are at home more than most and so dwell on the thought that we are alone ( does that make sense)? i have just found out that a lovely lady is about to start a help group for fibro sufferers in our local hall, never realised there were so many of us, so i am looking forward to meeting like minded people and make new friends. maybe there is something like this near you. dont forget we are all here for you if you want to chat chin up and soft hugs x

  • It's sad I know. I live in a busy house with 3 of my kids on a daughter-in-law, dogs a cat and (outside) my 3 hens. I love my greenhouse too. by boyfriend has his own busy life and is always globe trotting or working so we see each other a few hours a week. It's not enough but I feel that is all I could actually cope with anyway, but the evenings and through the nights are lonely when your exhausted but sleep is laughing at you at the top of a mountain that you can't possibly climb! I do feel lonely for the intimate things but at the same time being in such a busy house I also long for some solitude - hence my greenhouse! Please don't feel alone, find a hobby that will suit you, library book club or an art class? don't stay up in that tower block on your own. why not get a budgy or an indoor rabbit? They can be trained to use a litter tray. Look after yourself hun and remember we are all here for you xxxxx

  • How sad to be so lonely and to feel unloved. It brought tears to my eyes. Please never give up on finding a special person in your life as everyone of us needs to love and be loved. At a very dark time in my life not so many years ago i thought i had nothing much to offer anyone and would never be in a loving relationship. I am now very happily married to someone who loves me for all that I am. Sending love and positive thoughts x

  • P.s as Flips suggested, a pet is worth considering. I have two beautiful cats who bring me so much joy. Even if I am having a bad day and feeling sore and in low mood they never cease to make me smile :-) x

  • I've just asked a question on relationships. It would be great to have a lover....but it would have to be someone with patience, kindness and a big heart. There's quite a lot that we can't do...but I'm sure most of us can cuddle...be affectionate and loving, honest and true.

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