Fibromyalgia Action UK

am i a liar?

people try to make plans with me, but at the last minute i have let them down because i am that tired and in so much pain... but they always sound doubtful. my pain can come on at the last minute and i can feel like i have been run over by a bus. sometimes people do try to help but what can they do they cant make me comfortable or take away the pain. i always feel i let people down. or if i am out and a pain takes me people look at me as if to say but you were fine and now you are hurting so much... it is embarassing that people are always judging me and making me feel like a liar

10 Replies

No your not a liar its the dam Fibro if we want to do anything

the fibro is sure to put its ore in and have other ideas and

usualy at the last minuite.

All the very best too you Nazm55




I done it so many times - made plans then at the last moment cancelled as too much pain/too tired etc. Now not only has people stopped asking me out etc they no longer contact me at all. I dont know if its cos they cant understand it and dont know what to say or if they think im just making excuses cos i dont want to be with them. Just another part of fibro crap, you end up losing friends.

Try not to let it bother you, only you know how much pain you are in, and its their problem if they cant understand or judge you. The stress is not good for you so try to relax ok.

gentle hugs xx


Hiya, no you are not a liar, i feel exactly the same, all you can do is go with the flow (sometimes there is no flow) . They say live by the day, no we live by the hour. If you havent got fibro, it is almost impossible to explain how you feel, as the symptoms are so complex. I myself have had about 2 weeks of relative ease, i to are waiting for the fall. I don't like going out of my comfort-zone and feel panicky if this happens, i have a very supportive partner but i know my illness gets him down too. I am a relative new commer to fibro as i was diagnosed last september, but have felt very unwell for a long long time. Almost to add insult to injury on tuesday i was told i have a hole in my heart, one side is double the size of the other. Ive always had cold hands, feet and nose, when i was a child i fainted a lot and also had many nose bleeds, i was classed as a "sickly child" had anyone looked into this, i would have found out sooner. You are not alone, even though it can very much feel like it. All i can say is do what you can when the moment takes you, dont beat yourself up, your different and we all are in our own little way. They say "no man is an island" i dissagree.


It isn't your fault naz, it's not nice having to let people down. I do it all the time and end up feeling guilty, which causes more stress and makes me feel worse. But there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, and neither can you .

The pain is REAL not imaginary . It can come on without any notice at all, and I know it contributes to my agoraphobia because I'm always worried about being ill in public and worry about being able to get home.

There are times I've arranged to have phone calls or even chats online and not been well enough to do it and had to let people down. I know they don't believe you can suddenly feel unwell enough not to even be able to manage a phone call, but that's the way it is.

Kialaya is right, try to think of it as their problem because there is nothing you can do about the pain .




Have also been through this - now do not bother trying to arrange things and have sadly become very isolated from others. I go out to my daughter's school things but that is all. I guess it must be very hard for those who do not have fibro to understand how it can suddenly change. Have also found that I know am nervous about going out as it is so rare. Worked out that the last time I went to meet up with anyone was nearly 2 years ago which is pretty bad and so is no wonder that I am no longer on people's contact list.

Use the good times to go out with the people who matter most to you!


x x x


I've got a wedding coming up in June that I can't get out of because I'm the bride . I'm panicking already and that's not good !



i been called a liar many times as one day am fine then the next i can't get out of last year i want to party on my hen night but had to call it off at the last minute...and my so called friend wasn't happy...but i couldn't go out and enjoy myself if am in pain ....and i wanted to be well enough for my wedding the next week...which i was...but only had one dance which tired me only do what you want and don't be bullied in to going out....


@ helen good luck with your wedding...i got married last year...even though i only had one dance and was really happy that i made it through the day...


well those people are not worth knowing then as true friends and family would not do that to you , would you do do that to your friends / i bet the answer is no it is awful you end up bubbling on a load of rubbish and making yourself look likea liar dont you i have done that and even when you are exoplaining the pain to people they jus imagine a sore ache that they get not the fibro sort , you take care we all care for you on here love diddle x


Hi Naz, try asking those people to imagine they had the worse flu possible and how would they then feel if they had to get up and do normal things. Then tell them how you feel is even worse than that!!.

Agree with Diddle about true friends, they would acept you warts and all.

Don't feel bad cos its not your fault. Take care, Angela xx


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