This may seem to be little to moan about, and certainly is when I read some peoples blogs, but I thought it might help me to share as there is no one here to talk to right now.
Today was the last for my lovely Wisky, a tortoiseshell cat who looked like she had dipped a paw and her tail in a glass of whiskey. But she got her name because she was so fast. As a kitten she whisked everywhere, and rarely walked. Recently, although 20 years old, she would whisk into the kitchen to avoid peoples feet or my two year old spaniel. She did this tensed up on the tip of her toes as she was a bag of bones and inside she was riddled with growths. It was only recently she would suddenly call out as if in pain and it really did sound like Ow, Ow, Ow.
I remember when I got her she was about 12 to 14 weeks old and did not want to travel in a box. I was walking and worried she would run, but I let her out anyway. She sat on my shoulder and looked to see where she was going all the way home!
I had many children as a childminder and she did not mind any of them, even allowing them to dress her up and give her a ride in the dolls pram. My daughters loved her, my eldest the most. However I had got her because I had lost a baby and needed comfort.
So today, to end her pain I took her to the vet and explained that it was time for her to go. I did not want it, but she needed to be given the release. She is curled up in her favourite box right now waiting for my husband to come home and bury her. Even the vets nurse was nearly in tears! I have burried mine, but am in a fog. I keep doing silly things and am struggling to get on with things.
I have overdone things and am exhausted. In a shop where I wanted to buy a harness for my dog, I had walked and stood for too long and had to hang onto the shelf for a minute. Spending was my therapy but the harness I wanted was not there, so I bought the wrong one and now have to go back and change it.
On ebay I found a way to mark her grave which is quite different. Its a glass diamond which will catch the light and it will be engraved with her name and year of birth and death. She is to be burried next to her friend who died about 6 or 7 years ago.
To be honest I am a little surprised how this has affected me. I accepted my step-fathers death better. There is a hole a space in my home. Her dish, her beds - she slept in many places, her food is still here. My dog can sleep on her bed without having to make room. I keep saying her name for the kitten, who we got last year when we thought Wisky was ready to move on. We expected her to slip away by herself but in the end she was also bleeding and weeing all over the place and trying to be sick. A bag of bones, whose kidneys were packing up, who ate all the time but was never full - if you offered her fresh meat you had to watch out for your fingers.
She used to feed herself by picking up her food on her paw! She loved gravy but flicked food and gravy everywhere, up to 2' up the wall!
Oh Wisky we will miss you, we loved you so much. Thank you for loving us too!
And thank you for reading this when its not even your cat. Bless you.
Soft hugs and purrrs