Feeling low, in a fog, what a day!

This may seem to be little to moan about, and certainly is when I read some peoples blogs, but I thought it might help me to share as there is no one here to talk to right now.

Today was the last for my lovely Wisky, a tortoiseshell cat who looked like she had dipped a paw and her tail in a glass of whiskey. But she got her name because she was so fast. As a kitten she whisked everywhere, and rarely walked. Recently, although 20 years old, she would whisk into the kitchen to avoid peoples feet or my two year old spaniel. She did this tensed up on the tip of her toes as she was a bag of bones and inside she was riddled with growths. It was only recently she would suddenly call out as if in pain and it really did sound like Ow, Ow, Ow.

I remember when I got her she was about 12 to 14 weeks old and did not want to travel in a box. I was walking and worried she would run, but I let her out anyway. She sat on my shoulder and looked to see where she was going all the way home!

I had many children as a childminder and she did not mind any of them, even allowing them to dress her up and give her a ride in the dolls pram. My daughters loved her, my eldest the most. However I had got her because I had lost a baby and needed comfort.

So today, to end her pain I took her to the vet and explained that it was time for her to go. I did not want it, but she needed to be given the release. She is curled up in her favourite box right now waiting for my husband to come home and bury her. Even the vets nurse was nearly in tears! I have burried mine, but am in a fog. I keep doing silly things and am struggling to get on with things.

I have overdone things and am exhausted. In a shop where I wanted to buy a harness for my dog, I had walked and stood for too long and had to hang onto the shelf for a minute. Spending was my therapy but the harness I wanted was not there, so I bought the wrong one and now have to go back and change it.

On ebay I found a way to mark her grave which is quite different. Its a glass diamond which will catch the light and it will be engraved with her name and year of birth and death. She is to be burried next to her friend who died about 6 or 7 years ago.

To be honest I am a little surprised how this has affected me. I accepted my step-fathers death better. There is a hole a space in my home. Her dish, her beds - she slept in many places, her food is still here. My dog can sleep on her bed without having to make room. I keep saying her name for the kitten, who we got last year when we thought Wisky was ready to move on. We expected her to slip away by herself but in the end she was also bleeding and weeing all over the place and trying to be sick. A bag of bones, whose kidneys were packing up, who ate all the time but was never full - if you offered her fresh meat you had to watch out for your fingers.

She used to feed herself by picking up her food on her paw! She loved gravy but flicked food and gravy everywhere, up to 2' up the wall!

Oh Wisky we will miss you, we loved you so much. Thank you for loving us too!

And thank you for reading this when its not even your cat. Bless you.

Soft hugs and purrrs

9 Replies

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  • Aww that was lovely S-j. R IP wisky .

    Our pets shock us suprisingly when they pass. Some think huh tiz only a pet.

    Well we have lovely bonds with them aswell as our family and friends. They are a part of family also!

    My lovely long haired black & white pepsie is in her box on the living room windowsill, because that is where she sat watching out of window

    It has been 6 yrs now since she went.

    I also had 2 other cats sox & snowy who both lost rheir right leg exactly one month of each other on a christmas one year but got around brilliantly.

    Think i get fog a lot lol completely go to something and just forget.

    Put cuppa in fridge was looking forever and gave up thinking ohh must of not made one! Ohh so much i even get my customers muddled up i wander how on earth am still running my business (very small) but is mine and love it!! I will give up when i have no choice.

    The glass doiamind sounds lovely. Just what you thought a little diamond :-)

    Xxxx

  • So sorry to read of your loss. Our pets are much more than just animals, they are our comfort when no one else understands. You are entitled to a few "fog" days. I feel sure that Whisky would thank you for looking after her for 20 years and also for letting her go while she still had some dignity left.

    The Diamond is a wonderful way to mark her long and happy life with you.

    Best wishes, Barbara

  • oh Sarah Jane I am so sorry for the loss of part of your family. I know how sad it to have a loved animal leave us. I am sure you have lots more lovely memories to remember her by. if you need a fog, you have one! Enjoy the diamond = a great idea Lots of soft hugs to you xxx

  • hi. i understand just how you feel. i lost my beautiful cat george 3 years ago. he was 22. skin and bone but healthy as far as he could be, then 1 day he wouldnt jump thru our living room window (his cat flap lol) even tho he did it countless times even up to the end. my daughter went outside and brought him in saying that he couldnt walk properly. it turned out he had had a stroke. it was my daughters 18th birthday.

    i also lost my beloved dog (my namesake on here) i saw her being born and loved her from the start. when she was 10 she contracted mammary cancer, which was untreatable. i was told she could have 3 months or 2 years, they didnt no and to take her home and love her til the end. i was at work 1 nite a couple of months later when my neighbour rang to say that chilli had jumped out of the bedroom window and there was something wrong with her leg. she used to use the living room window as her dog flap but was never allowed upstairs as she used to chew. i can only think that she thought she could go out of this window as if it was the living room window. she totally hsattered her shoulder and elbow and dislocated her shoulder too. the vet said it would cost around £2500 to fix but since she only had a couple of months at best anyway ( that was a complete shock!!! she was still eating and as lively as she had ever been!) that the best thing was to let her go for the long sleep. she had been in the vets since saturday nite and this was monday morning and she had been so doped up she didnt know where she was, her head was hanging down touching the table and she was drooling. it was so pitiful to see my best friend like that and it was only fair to release her from her pain. i was so numb from the shock i didnt cry. i still havent really.

    that was about 6 months before i lost geaorge.

    im going to go thru it all again soon. i have an 11 year old akita called katie who is starting to show her age. she has started to have continence problems and she is showing signs of pain in her joints. im going to take her to the vets next week when i have the funds, but im sure that she only has a short time left. its not fair to keep her any longer than she is comfortable with and ive noticed today that she seems to be drinking more (kidneys giving up?) i dont think she will be here by the summer and im DREADING the day i have to make the decision. a selfish part of me wishes that the decision could be taken from me and i will come down 1 day and she will have gone peacefully in here sleep but i no that almost definitely wont be the case.

    my heart goes out to you sweetheart but you are not alone and i hope thats (small) consolation.

    lots of love and a long gentle(((( hug)))) to you

    love chilli xxx

  • HI there chilli,

    I am so sorry for your losses too. :(

    Just want to send you a hug.

    kel xxxx

  • Hi sarah jane,

    I am so sorry you have lost your cat. :(

    I would be devastated if any of my three lovely cats had to go, my heart goes out to you hun.

    Thats a lovely idea for a head stone.

    I hope your pain eases soon, rip wisky

    hugs, kel xxxx

  • Aw Sarah-Jane, no wonder you are in a fog and feeling low, this has been a very sad day for you. Sometimes our pets are closer to us than family or friends as they are there all the time and its only natural to greave for them when they go. It sounds like you made the right decision for Whisky today, it sounds like she had suffered enough. I had the same decision to make with my dog about 2 years ago and it still upsets me even now when I think of it. I would have rathered him slip away in his sleep but you have to do what you know is right for them at the end of the day.

    You will always have your memories to remind you of her and the glass diamond will be a visual reminder of her. Take care, Love Angela xx

  • so so sorry you lost your darling little whiskey but come on think of the 20 years you have given her all the fun things you have done and how you have looked after and nursed her but she was 20 which is a really good age and she was tired and in pain and her time here was done she will leave a gap in your lives and it will seem empty but you have done the right thing and she would thank you for it so dont let guilt come into the equation as it shouldnt. have you got some pics of her that you could make a collage up and hang it near her favourite place in the house that might be nice take care love to you diddle x

  • Thank you everyone for your kindness. Soft hugs

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