Lows

Since my move to my fiancé's home in Southampton a couple of weeks ago I've been feeling pretty positive and even a little energetic.

Today however I've woken up feeling terrible. The thought of the upcoming wedding ( June 6th ) fills me with dread . That's such a horrible way to feel about what should be a happy occasion , but I just don't know if I'm going to be able to cope.

Firstly, it means I have to leave the house and travel the few miles to the registry office , seems simple enough but the agoraphobia has a tendency to flare up when I'm under pressure to be somewhere ( I was supposed to go into town today with my son but couldn't, even though I'd been looking forward to it ). Secondly I have to dress up and make an effort and I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl ( no make up , no fancy nails etc and normally definitely not dresses ! ) . Thirdly I hate being the centre of attention and it's a bit difficult for the bride to fade into the back ground.

Mostly though it's the thought of entertaining guests , the effort that will require and I know having had to leave the house I'll be exhausted . We're on a tight budget so I will have to provide the food and we are having the reception at our home , I can't escape to my bed ! We're only inviting a few close friends and family but even that feels like too much effort

I've been looking forward to marrying my lovely man , but the full picture of how much effort it's going to be has suddenly dawned on me and now I just feel really depressed

xx

[jazher]

Helen you sound similar to me hun,

I hate being centre of attention and i never wear makeup now and dress comfortably.

I actually think thinking and stressing about it is worse than actually doing it with all these knid of days, I actually impress myself, as i always think things like you and it really makes me ill, but when it comes down to it i get on with it and most times actually enjoy it.

Also, if it is close family and friends if they all know about your fibro, could you go to registry office then give it a an hour or so before you invite them to yours so you could have an hours rest?

Try not to stress hun, easier said than done hun, but try and sit down with your partner and try and do a list/timetable on what needs done and when, and see if that helps.

I hope you get to have an excellent day hun, and dont forget we are here and if you need to let off steam then shout at us lol.

take care, kel xxxx

[Hidden]

I say be honest - esp with hubby to be. He will understand - he loves yooou

Talk through the day, I agree having a few rest periods during the day, Is a must

Also dress up in your own way, Wear whatever you want. My best friend wore a funky pair of trainers, we were all giggle at the novelty. But guess what on my day, Did i stay in my sky scrapper heels, Hell no, flat pair of ballet shoes. Did it matter no, it mes

We were also on a budget, I brought all the food but a group of friends gathered round and cooked all the food, - Aunty did my flowers - mum made my cake. Kind of alternative wedding gifts, The gift of a stress free time is priceless, speak up, bet they would love to help.

Most of all enjoy ever second of your special day

[Hidden]

Thanks both. The problem I have is that most of the guests aren't local so will have to come back to the house with us , my parents ( along with step parents ) and my eldest son are travelling from the West Mids and so will need to come to the house with us .

I don't really know anyone here to ask to help out as I've only been here a couple of weeks . Hubby-to-be will help of course but he's not really what you'd call a cook... LOL . Youngest son will be here but he's autistic so no help forthcoming from THAT direction !

Our neighbour ( who is also the landlord's mum ) has offered to make us a simple cake, which we can then decorate and her daughter is happy to make some cup cakes and eclairs etc but the rest will be down to me . So I'm thinking English tea party kind of thing, with simple salmon and cucumber sandwiches , and egg mayo and cress , I can prepare these the night before.

I've bought a simple ivory dress and a flatish pair of shoes ( Rich asked me not to wear my jeans just this once... I was tempted though ) but it's the effort of having to " dress up " and then be welcoming to people all day I'm dreading. My parents aren't very understanding , especially my mother , and will expect me to be hospitable all day . They are staying in a B & B over night too so it will drag on to the next day

Sorry , I know I'm moaning but I HATE big occasions and parties and being as it's my own I can't avoid it lol.

I really need to get into a better frame of mind .

Thanks ladies for your supportive comments.

Hugs

xx

[jazher in reply to Hidden]

Aww helen,

no wonder your head is buzzing with all that to think about hun.

you know where we are if you need to scream lol.

big hugs kel xxx

[Hidden]

i am the same i hate being in the centre of everything but it is your day and you are marrying the man you love so dont worry he will help carry you through the day tell him how you feel and all your friends and family so they are all aware and them they can step in if they think things are getting too much for you but please try to relax and enjoy it i know i got marreid to my 1st husband we had the full works and the day jus went it was gone in an instant and you have to make the most of every min love to you diddle x

[Goodienuff]

I have occasionally had hypnotherapy if I need to go through something which is likely to be hard work, and it works, but I guess it ddepends on how good the hypnotherapist is that and the PRICE!!!! Just a thought - I actually stopped smoking by hypnosis too.