Fibromyalgia Action UK
38,755 members51,010 posts

how to feel

ive had fibro since i was 15 im 29 i have good days and i have bad days but i carry on no matter what cos i hate to ask for help i feel like a fraud because i do carry on through the pain so i still look like there is nothing wrong i hear so many people say i cant do this or that and they sound worse than me but is this because i have learnt to hide it because people make me feel like im lying about the pain its even hurting to do this plus im not sure im making much sense but i need to talk and i refuse to talk to family about it

i dont know if i feel i can go to work but i have to as they took esa off me and said i was fit for work i dont know what to do any more im a mess

7 Replies

appeal it hun x x they tryin to make cut backs all the time... my mum appealed and got hers and now she on support group!!!! the courts couldnt believe that the dwp docs said nothin was wrong with her.. she got it back dated x x gl hun x sendin lots of love x


I agree with lynnie, appeal they are just throwing genuine people like you off esa. I know how you feel about not wanting to talk to family. I think a visit to your docs might be a good idea.

If your surgery is like ours there will be several docs, try and get to see one that you know has a sympathetic attitude and actually listens to what you are saying and pour your heart out sweetie.

Be polite, but assertive.

Thinking about you,

lol Susan.xx

Its now 3.45 am and I just can't get to sleep.


i think you should appealagain but i am so like you i look ok well that may be debatable lol but seriouysly i know what you mean i jus keep goging and going and will not stop so people think that i am fine if only they had x ray vision and could see what my body felt like. it reallty is a horrible thing this fibro and i am not woe is me it is jus sometimes i dont really understand it myself so dont know how others are supposed to . you take care and hope that you do reapply love to you diddle x


Hi everyone.Yes Sarah, I agree,appeal it. I was given the choice (if thats wot you can call it) of getting ESA and saying I was fit for work (which I dont think I am) or saying I was UNfit to work and getting a REDUCED amount of ESA, so less than £67.50 a wk. I opted for the "fit for work" option,but I felt like I was given no choice at all.Poor or poorer. Im struggling on that because I lost £25 a wk from when I was on Income Support as long term sick. I also "get on with it", like you.Its going to hurt and Im going to feel like crap whether I moan or not, so I just keep quiet.Theres no one else to do things for me, so I havent got a choice there either.At least I can do things at my own (slow) pace. So, go on, fight for it girl!! Dont let 'em grind you down.We're all here for you


dear Sarah, i really feel for you. first pls pls go to doctors and tell them how you are feeling. Try and get the most sympathetic, but if not able just ask for an emergency appointment. The family GP no matter what they think of fibromyalgia will note the pressure and secondary depression and immense stress you so obviously are dealing with. we all empathize because we have all been in your position at some stage. you need help and support right now. focus on an emergency doctors appointment first. speak to doctor. then work on starting urgent appeal. you have every right to that benefit. ring your local town hall and ask the names of local disability support groups or go to the cab office and they will be able to help. support can help you with the appeal process, even filling in the forms because under stress your cognitive will be going in to overdrive and you might not feel able to think straight. i understand how you feel about family, i feel like this too. are there any friends or neighbors you can go to and ask if they are free for cuppa and a chat.

i promise you we have all felt as you do right now, i most certainly have and know how heart breaking it all seems.

sarah where do you live? i would be happy to make calls on your behalf if you will let me. at times like this we need to be there for one another.

appeals do work believe me i won mine but before hand i thought it was never going happen.

sincerely here for you Happe. my mob is 07775167101.

please don;t feel any embarrassment i truly have been were you are today and know how difficult that makes things to cope with.

you are not a fraud we all suffer because of ignorance and being ill and trying to persuader even the medical profession to take us seriously makes us feel like frauds when we are not. there are specialists whom are sympathetic ans can help with the appeal and we can discuss this later,

right now know you are seriously in pain and disabled. this is fact. lyndsey and her team can help you re right focus. the problems is our cognitive mean we don;t always say the right things, perhaps because we get flustered and this can come across as lying when under pressure.


dear happe i have made an appointment with a benifits adviser at the doctors can fit me in till begining of next month im going to ask about as much as i can ha ha not much when i cant remembber but my hubby is going with me so im hoping we ask everything between us.

off that subject i feel like my hubby is getting fed up with me as ive not wanted to do house work lately i just want to be out and around people but there is now so much house work to do i have a go at him for not doing stuff then dont do anything myself i cant get motivated i dont know how to get motivated


I like most people here, struggle on and dont let on to people how I am really feeling. Not even my husband and children.

I force myself out of the house every day to work, without my wage my husband and I would loose our house. I struggle with this, my employers are not supportive and I work for a Sexist pig, one of the reasons I push myself into the ground with work. I have to prove that women can work just as good as men and in some cases even better.

I have no social life because of this and no family life, I just dont have the energy for it, I have to rely on my family to do things round the house, but I don't think that they really understand it. I don't think anyone does, aprt from those who are in the same boat.

Although Fm is now named in the Equality Act, the DWP still do not take it as a Disability! This is the start of many battles that people with FM face.

Gentle Hugs to all x


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