how does fibro affect your relationship with your partnner

[shetlandlass]

Hi dont know how to put this but since i have had fibro i feel less as a women i have a marverllas husband he is so understanding but i feel i am ruining his life as for the last four years he as been my carer he is alot younger than me i knew he would have to care for me one day but not so soon i am lucky he suffers himself with alot of pain and the tablets he is on have bad side affects as i surgested he found someone else who he could have a full married life with but he said to me he didnt mean it a bad way but if i wasnt ill it would put more pressure on him as the tablets stop im feeling intimate in that way we are closer now than we have ever been but i do miss that side of married life but the gp said it was the tablets he was on but if he stop takeing them he would be in so much pain i have a friend who is in the same postion if i didnt have her to talk to as it feels like a breavment in one way i hope you dont mind me talking about this and i have not affending anyone its just this fibro ruining your life in so many ways my friend is only in her twenties if i did not have such a wounderful husband i dont know what i would do i am so lucky love to you all carolx

[Spirit]

Mine is on the verge of ending much of the time. Like you I have suggested that we separate and he finds what he needs out of a relationship (physical side) from another woman as I am unable to provide it.

We have many many rows about it. He gets VERY aggressive verbally sometimes (though never physically). Then it will settle down again for a while and I do wonder if he is *playing away* sometimes.

It's really tough isn't it? My heart bleeds for you.

Much love

Spirit x x x

[Extremelygrumpy]

Oh gosh I feel so bad about answering this perhaps I shouldn't but I had fibro when I met my OH and yes I didn't bargain for arthritis to join the party so early on , so badly, but we will have been together20 years this coming year and we are together and happy no matter what life throws at us, so far it's been arthritis on top of my fibro COPD for my OH , mystifying his gp and hospital consultant as he has never smoked and its identical in both lungs and an autistic son...and we are only in our 40s, who knows what will happen next.... Christmas was a liitle quiet this year as I am stuck in a stupid spasm, but its not as bad as Christmas 3 years ago in our old house when the chimney crashed though the roof on Christmas Day... My OH has a very laid back approach to life and over the years it has rubbed off on me and we just take each day and get through it . I know how you mean about the intimate side and if there's less of that then there's more time for hugs and cuddles... I think I had better stop now before you all throw up.

Vgx

[shetlandlass in reply to Extremelygrumpy]

hi thanks for your reply i am sorry i am just feeling sorry for myself i know there are people worst off but as you said and i said two my husband more cuddles they are better than anything carolx

[shetlandlass]

Hi spirit it was so good to hear from you and know i am not alone i didnt know how to put it in words but i get so depress as fibro as taken my womenhood away and even though i am in pain i still want the closness we had but be cause he as been my carer for so long he his in carer mode also he suffers himself with alot of pain and the medication he his on afects him so even if i was alright the gp said it stop him feeling like that way and if he stop the tablets he would be in to much pain to bother so its a catch 22 i am lucky he is very understanding and we are very close and i dont have the worry of him going else where i just said to him we could always have a cuddle as that in its self makes you feel better as just feeling that you are loved that better than all the the tablets it just that i am in bed half the time as the medication knocks me out then i am awake most of the night and sleep all day and if i have a good day i over do it and then i am in bed for a few days its not much of a life i live in shetland just round from the beach i would give anything just to get down with my dog to the beach i have been lucky though they have put a wet room in fo me and a stair lift also a speical electric toilet that a god send as when i walk down stairs i feel as though i have been it across the knees with a metal bar somme days i cant get out of bed the OT got me an electric bed but i cant get use to it how long have you had fibro if you dont mind me asking you only sound young my friend is in her twentys ans she as the same thing if i didnt have her i dont know what i would do but it helps to talk i just want you to know i am here for you if i can help in anyway love and hugs carolx

[lindylou69]

there are times when i think i would be better off on my own, but thats because i feel i am always moaning, and that really knocks my self esteeem. my husband hasnt always been understanding, but that is because he has a medical background and nothing fits within the normal range!

[shetlandlass in reply to lindylou69]

Hi know what you mean the trouble is some people have never heard of fibro my gp is so understanding she explained to my husband and he as been great i am glad i wrote about this asthere are allot of women out there feel the same way but dont know who to talk to just because you have this illness doesnt mean you want to lye down and die i can put up with the pain just to feel like a women again and just to get back the closness that i had with my husband why should fibro rob us of every thing if you ever want to talk please get in touch my heart goes out to you love carolx

[chambers]

hi also say to my partner you need to found a bit of fresh because i cant cope with anythink sexual or even bother to cuddle and kiss , but it my partner who always says come on lets have a kiss and cuddle , i feel so sorry for him that he as to put up with me and my moaning and painfull days which are every day now i do feel so luck to have him even tho i dont always show it xxxxx

[shetlandlass]

Hi thanks for replying i am sorry things are that bad for you as i said i have had fibro for four years but i still cant except this is it for the rest of my life i keep thinking things will improveas this is no life we are lucky to have partners that love us as alot of women are not as lucky he must love you so much and being there for each other that the most important thing i am so glad i have such an understanding husband i dont know what i would do without him and it sounds as you have a good one it musyt be hard for him have you tried talking to him and tell him how happy you are to have him in your life idont let fibro win love carolxxx

[emadavies]

I often wonder why my hubby puts up with me!

Were not as intermate as we used to be due to

my fibro pain, I often put on being fine to please him,

he understands if I was to say no but I feel so bad

ontop of that I have severe exzema so just having

skin to skin contact burns my skin

We have been married 7 years an I wud say were really

happy I just question why sometimes! Sometimes saying

I love you must be enough xxx

[shetlandlass]

hI THANKS FOR REPLYING ITS HELP ME ALOT MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW WE ARE AFFECTED WITH FIBRO UP UNTILL FOUR YEARS AGO I WAS FINE THEN I HAD AN ACCIDENT AT WORK AND THAT WAS THE START OF IT AND I HAVE JUST GONE DOWNHILL FROM THEN I HAVE A VERY GOOD DOCTOR WHO READ ABOUT THE ILLNESS TO HELP ME SHE EXPLAINED TO MY HUSBAND THAT IF I MANAGED TO GET OUT OF BED THAT A GOOD DAY THERE IS KNOW CURE JUST MEDACATION AND THAT DOESNT TAKE THE PAIN AWAY THE FLARE UPS ARE THE WORST NOT KNOWING WHERE THE PAINS GOING TO BE MY HUSBAND IS GREAT SO UNDERSTANDING AS HE SAID IF IT WAS HIM WOULD I LEAVE HIM BUT HE IS ALOT YOUNGER THAN ME AND I FEEL SO DEPRESS AS I AM NOT MUCH COMPANY HAVE YOU THOUGHT THE STRESS YOU ARE UNDER MAKES YOUR EXZEMA ALOT WORSE I USE TO SUFFER WITH URTICERIA I FOUND THE ONLY THIN THAT HELP WAS PHENERGAN I HAVE A FRIEND WHO AS BAD EXZEMA AND ITS REALY HELP HER AND SHE SUFFERS WITH FIBRO YOU CAN BUY IY OVER THE COUNTER YOUR HUSBAND SOULD LIKE A VERY LOVEING AND UNDERSTANDING MAN WE ARE SO LUCKY TO HAVE SUCH GOOD PARTNERS HE SOUNDS THAT HE LOVES YOU ALOT IT SOUNDS AS YOU HAVE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT SEEIN YOU SENT THIS 3 HOURS AGO IT LIKE ME I AM AWAKE ALNIGHT EITHER WITH RESLESS LEGS OR IN TO MUCH PAIN TO SLEEP AND THEN FEELING GUILTY BECAUSE MY HUSBAND DOES EVERTHIN FOR ME ITS THINS LIKE I CANT WALK DOWN THE STAIRS AS I FEEL AS THOUH I HAVE BEEN HIT OVER THE KNEES WITH A METAL BAR THE OT GOT ME A CHAIR LIFT PUT IN ITS A GOD SEND WHO WHOULD BELEIVE THE BRAIN COULD BE SO POWERFUL AND GAVE US THIS PAIN I KNOW THERE ARE ALOT PEOPLE WORSE OFF AND I AM SORRY FOR FEELIN SORRY FOR MYSELF THINKING OF YU HUGS CAROLXX